Feel all alone

This was a hard decision to make for me....I just turned 30 a few months ago, and I am going through this pretty much alone. I have no sisters, and my mom is about 4hrs away. I have a comman-law bf, but I don't think he really understands. All he sees is me crying from the pain, and throwing up. None of my close friends have under went this surgery, so the can't offer any type of advice. Am I wrong to feel like I'll feel like less of a woman after this is all done? I realize that the benifits, are extremly outwaying the cons at this point, but there are so many mixed emotions, and I can't seem to stay positive......

dear timid:
I'm 40 and I had an TAH 3 weeks ago because of large fibroid tumors and endomitrios.
I was in pain on a daily basis that made me tired and depressed all the time. Although I'm still sore from the surgery the intense pain in my back is gone!! the pain that was constent in my right side is also gone.
I was very scared before the surgery and i have to admit i put it off for several years until the pain was interfering with my everyday life
I'm still nervous that my sex life with my husband won't be the same but I will just have to wait and see what happens. I wish you all the best and hope you have a quick and speedy recovery

Timid, I'm sorry you are going through this alone. This is a great board and I've gotten lots of encouragement here. We have the same surgery date. We'll get through this together.

Timid,
The days before and the first 36 hrs are the worst. Really! Once you get back home from the castle, You will start feeling better and better each day. I am now 6 weeks out at first I never thought I would get here, but I am and I have a very pretty insicion scar, almost non existant. I had only internal stiches and super glue to close. I had a TAH. I am 33 years old. Sometimes I still get sad, but then I think NO MORE PERIODS!!!!!!!!! YEEEEEEEEEEEEEE HAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Timid,

I'm here, you are not alone. Most of my questions and concerns were answered by my fellow hystersisters.

TAH/BSO 12/14 recovery and I have nowhere else I'd rather be

Honey, it's your head and your heart that make you a woman, not a diseased uterus. You are going to be amazed at what a difference this wiill make in your quality of life.

Maybe you can talk with your bf? Maybe the misterhyster part of this site would be good for him or give you some ideas of how to approach talking to him. Sometimes, people just don't open up that communication. Maybe he wants to be more supportive but doesn't know how, or doesn't feel welcome to ask or awkward about it (that doesn't mean he isn't welcome but he may have the wrong idea. I mean, how often does that happen to us with men that we think they should just know something. I'm as guilty as anyone). I had some good friends who helped me out and half the women in my office have had one so I had lots of help. I am 43 and not the youngest. One gal was 31 when she had hers (ovaries too!). I think that that thought is probably normal, especially so young, but I do think it is mistaken. You will NOT be less of a woman. Being a woman really is about more than our reproductive capabilities. You won't stop liking frilly things or make up or enjoying sensuous materials and fragrances or anything that you like now. You WILL stop throwing up from pain and feeling miserable. I did not have half the problems people here talk about and I still feel so much better that I am surprised. It's like coming out of a little fog for me. I just feel "brighter". I think my body spent a lot of time and energy thinking it needed to excise those fibroids on its own. If you have even more going on, your body is probably denying you all kinds of energy. You hang in there. Waiting is definitely the worst. Think about trying to get your BF more involved. It's not embarassing, remember. It's just life and it happens frequently to many women. Let him know he is lucky he doesn't have to understand it completely in the first person. Let him know you are scared even though you know it will make you feel better. Tell him that he doesn't need to be perfect or special but just there for you. This *could* be an opportunity to bond more. I'm pretty sure that you will both be rewarded if you can just hang in there through the healing process.

Everybody is different about how they feel about this most feminine of body parts. The second worst thing you can do is ignore your feelings. The worst thing is to let fear stop you from getting the medical care you need.
Treat this like a grief process, if it helps. If you lost a leg to gangrene you would also need to grieve. It wouldn't save the leg, but it would help the healing process.
This is truly an amazing site. Most here are very supportive and the shared experiences are invaluable. You will find you are not quite so alone.

And Yes, Yes, Yes, insist that your lover read the misterhyster page!!! It is eye opening.

I am 33 timid and, I understand what you are going through. I struggle everyday with my upcoming surgery. But i also look foward to a pain free life and a pain free sex life too, lol. I was in shock and thought, there is no way I am way to young for this! But it is my health and it is the best descion for me. I am nervous and scared, and I don't have any family or friends either to turn to, this is why I am addicted to this site. It has been the light at the end of the tunnel to help light my way to a path of a new and better life! But gilr I am scared as hell, too ROFL. You will love the support here. Ask away they will be happy to anwser any of your questions that they can.