Crazy Lady!!!!!!!

Hi Sisters!


I am 5 days and counting to my surgery. I feel like an insane person!!!!!! :confuse:

One minute I am excited and can't wait until it's over, the next minute I am scared to death and picturing myself in my casket with my kids crying around me! Yikes! I just keep thinking if I never wake up it will be my fault! I'm nuts!

My poor DH is taking the brunt of it. He just lost his dear grandfather, who was like a father to him, and he lived too far for us to afford for him to go to the funeral! I keep trying to remember that, buy my crazy emotions are all over the board! I know I was mean to him today for no reason.

My doctor has me on BCP until my surgery so there will not be a lot of bleeding, and as a result I have a constant headache and cannot stop eating!

My three kids are enduring so much putting up with my mood swings. I feel guilty for having the surgery, guilty for my moods, guilty for my husband having to miss work to take care of me!

Please tell me someone else out there is on an emotional roller coaster!! Also, I am petrified about not being able to drive or lift. I do about 4 loads of laundry a day, from the 2nd floor to the basement, carry my 1 year old daughter up and down the stairs, and am basically a gypsy on the road ,,, I LOVE MY MOBILITY AND INDEPENDENCE!!!

I guess I just wanted to get that out. Here I go with the crying for no reason, out of pure fear!!!!!!!!! UGH!!!!!!

Heather, hun, stop for a sec. Now BREATHE!!!

You are on the Hyster Twister!!! It's the normal outflow of many different emotions which happens as the date of the hyst draws near.

It is perfectly normal. All of your feelings are valid, and should be vented. Even fear of dying is normal....although I believe that according to the stats, dying from a hyst is pretty rare.

Have you talked to your dh about how you're feeling? Sometimes all you need is for the man in your life to listen and then give you a big hug. I know it works for me!

I, like you am a very independent woman who likes to do things MY way, and in MY time frame (yeah ok, I'm a control freak type A personality). So it is very difficult for me to sit back while others take care of me. However for the past few months, I've had to do just that due to pain and feeling very ill. So it's been good practice for me.

I now know that the house will not fall down around me if I don't vacuum and dust. Nor will my child go to school in dirty clothes. Dh CAN do laundry. Just because he doesn't fold properly....I'll live with that. It's hard to admit you need help, but hun for your own sanity, let others help you.

It's a long journey, and you only get one chance to heal from surgery, so I plan to do it right the first time! Hang in there sweetie, meltdowns are perfectly ok here...vent away.

Here's a big for you.
Tam

Hi fheather,

I just couldn't resist popping in here to send you some heartfelt

s s

I believe NorthLights has said it all. OXO She knows her stuff.
Hyster Twisters are no fun at all. But we can get through them -together.

Take Care Hon,
Much Love,
AnnieWoof

Isn't it great that we have this site to come & cry, vent, praise? I can empathize with you. I was fine until this morning. Now I'm so nervous!

Hyster twister-lol-never heard that term before, how fitting!

s

Heather - your post made me laugh and cry, all at the same time. I was booting it around the house yesterday like a madwoman!! Cleaning, finishing up some business stuff (have home based business), doing stuff outside, getting clothes for hospital stay - felt like a million bucks! Got into bed last night and had one of those horrible "what if die and I never get to crawl into bed with my DH again" thoughts. Started to cry, had to wake him up so I could howl all over his chest for while.

I'm so glad that I found this site and know that it's normal but it sure is hard on a person eh? I keep trying to remind myself that I'm so lucky that it's a hyster and not chemo or something and I also try to remind myself that it will be soooo good when it's all over and I am free of the pain and inconvenience forever!!

Good luck to you - I'll be thinking of you!

Hugs and friendly smooches to everyone here!

I am also on an emotional rollercoaster and it seems as though this ride is never gonna end.

I do not like feeling out of control, but I have to admit, this has completely taken over my every waking thought.

I know that once the surgery is over, I will feel much better, but the waiting is dragging me down.

I do not want to leave the house, although I work fulltime, in a business setting.

My poor husband has abandoned the bedroom, as he is tired of hearing me whine and complain about pain. He cannot grasp the reasoning behind all of this. Doesn't want to talk about it with me, because he says I am obsessed with the whole process in general.

I want to sit in a corner and cry, cry, cry and yet I have a 10 year old son who needs his mama. I have two bosses who need 'their Tina' and aren't happy with me missing 6 weeks of work, although it is UNPAID.

I say we say to heck with it all and run away to an island somewhere in the tropics! Anyone wanna go????

Oh you dolls...
No kidding....just reading your posts I have tears in my eyes remembering those same thoughts. I would look at my dearest husband, my precious daughter's smile and feel the grief would break me. I could literally feel the tangible possibility of never seeing them, touching them, kissing them, laughing with them again. I have never been so terrified. I would be so happy to be able to take each of your fears away for you. This really is a cyclone for you of fear, emotion, need to "fix everything" before your surgery, resentment of immobility afterward...you name it, you are feeling it. Each one of us has gone through it, though certainly some sisters seem much more graceful about it than I was. You might as well just let yourself feel it, cause it's going to be there anyway! If it gets too overwhelming, the doctors are very good about perscribing something to help take the edge off for you temporarily.
We are always here for you to vent at...it is a great forum when you feel like you have voiced the same fear 896 times to your family!!!! Breathe deeply...let yourself get some rest...and remember the house doesn't have to be perfect before you go to the castle, but your family would probably really love some time with you!

Leslie

Hun, I know where you are. I was there this past week-end. I was terrified, but I was determined not to let anyone know. I think my best friend and my pastor were the only ones who knew how truly petrified I was to go through with this... I rode the emotional roller coaster 'til it crashed...

Everything you are going through is completely normal. Just keep venting your emotions, either here to your HS or to your friends and family. Keeping everything bottled up isn't healthy.

I also felt guilty for having to have my DH and DD take care of me... But, you know what? They really don't mind. Taking care of each other is what families do.

Take a deep breath...everything's gonna' be OK.

I'll remember you on your big day.

s

I suffer from depression and mood swings and take Lexapro. I am wondering if any of you ladies know if once I am a "free woman", will my symptoms subside since I will be on HRT? Will my moodiness be releaved? My poor DH can't take anymore of them! Help!

I don't know if it's all the stuff going on in my life; my oldest moving out to go to College in May, My middle going into the Army in July (UGH) and a 12 year old that is feeling his oats. Not to mention money problems, me never knowing when I will have a period or not, and feeling badly with cramps and fatigue. Or it's everything. My DH is away for the weekend with friends and possibly thru next week because I am driving him crazy and it will probably do us both good to get away from each other for a while.

I desparately worry about afterwards and wonder what kind of person I will be. Can anyone help me out?????