I'm having a tearful day

I'm having a bit of a tearful day today. I know this is down to hormones and a little to do with starting my follow up treatment. But I've also been feeling quite vulnerable since the operation. I separated from my husband before the operation and now live alone, so had to look after myself after the operation. I've always been fiercely self sufficient as my husband has always worked away. In fact we have our own houses!!

My one friend came in as often as she could to make sure I was okay and see if I needed anything, so I saw her 4 or 5 times a week. Yesterday we went out for dinner together so I could say thank you. So today feels a bit like I've come down from a big high after a lovely afternoon and evening yesterday.

I've also had to reassess some friendships that I thought were more solid. For example, I asked another friend if she would also help me during my operation and recovery. She agreed but then booked an extended holiday to NZ two weeks before my operation and flew on the day I had my op. So she was away for just over 3 weeks. She then flew to California for a week, so I've seen her twice in the last 7 weeks. The last time was because she wanted me to look after her 3 kids for the day. She said that now I can drive again we can do more stuff. I needed the help,when I couldn't drive. So it appears what I thought was a good friendship was a convenient friendship and this has Also made me sad. Hey **, I guess this is part and parcel of the process and we all live and learn.

I am sorry you are going through this recovery time dealing both with a marital separation and in the need to reassess some friendships. Neither are easy to do, but especially after a surgery and recovery.

You are in my prayers and I hope you are able to continue to rest and focus on what you need and on what you want to do.

Take care!

Wow Elleigh, I'm so sorry. With friends like that who needs enemies! The vacation, well, I can write that off to just about anything. But the taking care of her 3 kids and now that you can drive we can do more... That's pretty selfish! Thank goodness for the one friend that really stood by you. Dry your eyes and hold your head up. You are probably a much, much better friend than the one. You're feeling better, so don't let emotions get you down. Keep recovering and be happy, that's the greatest revenge. Feel better.

I'm so sorry you are going through all that, I'd have teary days too.
The friendship part I can really relate to unfortunately.
I had friends come and bring dinners that I wouldn't have expected and was so thankful for, but my so called best friend? she was on vacation when I had my op (no worries it was booked before mine was) and came back the day I got home from the hospital, in the 3 weeks since my op? I have seen her a total of.....ZERO TIMES!
And she lives on the next street along from me.
Really has given me an insight into who she really is and no way will I be as open with her again.
But we live and learn and move on and I wish you all the best.

I am so sorry to hear that you are going through this during your time of healing and recovering. Focus on the things that are going to make you better. Enjoy the most out of each day.
You are not alone!

Thank you ladies for your kind thoughts and words. Actually, looking after the kids was nice - they're great kids and were very well behaved when I explained I couldn't run or climb as I had stomach ache. We had a lovely day picnicking by the brook and building dams.

Statesidetate68 - it really hurts when we get let down doesn't it? I am so sorry to hear what's happened to you. Like you, I won't be so quick to help her in the future. My formed had a fibroid removed last year. I took her to the hospital, stayed with her, brought her home and she stayed with me for two days after the procedure. So I was a bit shocked how she's behaved. She's also likened my situation to having an abnormal smear - which it is not!

But on the positive side, I've found lots of people care and have helped or offered help that I Would never of expected to. A friend in Canada has messaged me every day and we've spoken on Skype regularly - we've even had virtual coffee together, my step,daughters have visited with my favourite Starbucks, people have offered to help with my mum who has dementia (my brother on the other hand was too busy), my mum's careers have been golden and even my mum sensed something wasn't right and decided that she wouldn't go out on her own until I was myself again (I usually have to rescue her from shops when she's got confused). Even people I've never met have been kind - my mum told someone in a shop that she wanted to buy me a gift and card to cheer me up. She purchased a gift and card and then wanted to bring to my home, but had spent all her money. So the shop owner brought to my home in a taxi (to make sure she got to me safely) and wouldn't let me pay for the taxi fare. So I know that I'm very lucky. I've just got to focus on the kindness that people have shown me.