Guilt

I am having a SAH on 1/22 which was scheduled back in October and it then seemed so far in the future. I was hoping and praying that this whole thing would just disappear and I wouldn't need to go thru with the surgery. It didn't happen and now I have only 3 days to go. Hyster sisters please tell me how you dealt with friends/family telling you not to have the surgery that all organs are meant for a reason and I should keep my dysfunction uterus and go on soy milk to cure the problems. How many have seen the talk shows that say too many woman have unnecessary hysterectomies? Even some go so far (books and ohter sites on internet) to say that you should only have a hysterectomy if cancer is involved. My well meaning cousin that I have not seen in over 2 years just called me and told me to cancel my surgery and get another opinion - I have had 5 - and all were the same - have it removed. Do you feel guilty that you had a hysterectomy? I have been fighting this battle with pain, bleeding, bladder problems for at least 5 years so when is it enough. Always in the back of my mind is the fact that my mother died from a cancer that started in the uterus so maybe I died bring this all on myself but I am tired of it.

I just found this site tonight and this is my first online chat - Thanks for letting me vent.

I'm so sorry you're not getting the support you need from family but you've found the right place to help you through this. First of all, it sounds like you've researched all your options - five opinions is really going the extra mile. Second, it's your body and no matter what anyone else thinks you know it best and you're the one who has to live with it.....and five years of pain is a long time! Third, I know exactly how you feel. I'm scheduled for 1/29 and I've gone through almost every emotion including impending guilt. But after talking with friends and reading the posts on this site I'm finally feeling very comfortable with my decision. I'd encourage you to keep reading the posts here. The more confident you are about your decision the better chance you have for your family to back off.

PS - I haven't talked to one person who has told me they regretted their decision to have surgery - and I've been seeking opinions for weeks!!

If you've already had five opinions that are the same; you know there is a reason.
Soy is great; my mother and sister are both allergic. You can't expect everyone to have the same metabolism, health issues, so saying what is good for one is good for all; it doesn't work.
I think it is ignorant to think all organs should stay in place for a purpose; you don't keep bursting appendixes or spleens, soy won't cure them either!
You need to listen to *you*; it's your body. Your quality of life it sounds, is very limited. Forgive me for saying this, but I think your Mom would, like mine, tell you to have the surgery if you think it's best. Why be in pain and misery? Five years is long enough.
For well-meaning people, you don't have to say anything. It's private, not their business. You can tell them five physicians beg to differ with their opinion, and unless theirs is based in medical fact, they don't have a leg to stand on.
The uterus is NOT a homing device to find lost keys, the kids schoolwork, or shoes. Mine is a mess, it's unwelcome and troublesome. I'm saying bye-bye to it, at 37, plus the ovaries and tubes. (I can't have surgery soon enough!)
My guilt is that I have waited so long, and put everyone through the hell of my bad temper, illness, etc. I can't take back or redo those years, but I can improve my life NOW.
People who LOVE you unconditionally won't care; they want you around.
Please let us know what you decide, and welcome to an awesome bunch of ladies!!! Hugs!!!

Thank you JJhnston and Linda P for your responses. I have spent the last 1 1/2 hour reading comments and suggests on this site and finished up seeing if anyone replied to me. Thank you for your words of wisdom. I know this is right to have the surgery but am just nervous about it being so close - it wasn't so scary when it was in the future. So many hyster sisters say they feel fine and sounds like they are happy with the results of the surgery. This is certainly comforting to me. I am feeling much calmer and thank you again for taking the time to reply.

Good night.

5 Opinions and a cancer background in your family....That is enough to convince me that you are making the right decision. I feel so bad for you. No one will understand how you are feeling until they are going through this. I found out in mid December that I had to have my surgery. I am scheduled on Feburary 5th for a TAH/BSO. My Doctor has an oncologist scheduled as well This has been the longest month of my life....The fear of the unknown is awfull. This site, and all of the sisters have been wonderful. Please let us know how you do, and as far as your family goes I hope and pray that they wont judge you. YOU and all 5 doctors know what is best for your body.
Love, Donna