Can't stop thinking about upcoming surgery

I am scheduled for (adominal) partial hys on June 16.I have had terrible periods, have 2 softball size fibroids, and am on ther pill for several years now.
I decided to wait until then because I have 2 sons ( 8 & 11) who will be getting out of school that week makng it easier for them to stay with family for a few days during my hosptal stay. (we live in another state from all family)
My issue is that I don't know how I am going to focus and live life until June! I think about the surgery from the minute I wake till I go to sleep at night. I think of what I need to do, how I will handle everything (since I do EVERYTHING for the 3 guys in my house (sons & husband), how they will handle mommy not being able to do everything etc etc.
I wish I would have just made the date closer now-cause I don't know how to wait with out freaking out totally!!
Any advice is appreciated..thank you all!!

Hi MVrusso,

First of all take a deep breath and relax for just a few moments. Now, sit your menfolk down and have a heart to heart with them. You've done for them all this time and now it's time for them to help "do" for you. If they don't have daily chores yet, now's the time to start them. With your son's away at family during your surgery and first part of recovery it will fall to your husband to take care of you. He CAN do it, mine did great with clear communication. He didn't do things the way I would and he didn't do some things as well as I would have BUT he did his best and you know what?, nothing was irreversibly damaged or uncleanable! You'll hear it more than once on here, "you only get one time to heal right, so relax and let yourself be pampered" . You have plenty of time to make dinners and freeze them so that minimum cooking is needed during recovery too. Some women make plans for a special day out with a friend for a manicure, pedicure, lunch, shopping, etc. Plan on going to the library and getting some good books to read, or maybe you know someone that reads the same type books you do that you could borrow. I had a lady in my church that gave me about 20 books to read and do you know, I read them all in 3 weeks. What bliss! Whatever your circumstances I pray you find a way to handle the days leading up to your surgery. I'm 3 and 1/2 months post op and looking back I remember being the same way as you in being consumed by thoughts about it but trusted in God to see me through it. Another sister here gave me a verse, Isaiah 41:10 that helped me a lot. Sending you lots of Hugs!

Thank you so much for your reply-I will take your advise. I keep mentioning to my husband about how he's going to have to do this and that since I can't- I think he is getting tired of listening to me!!LOL! I know he will step up though-he is a keeper.
Again-Thanks!!

I know how you feel and am dealing with the same situation. Mine is scheduled for June 8th and I feel at times like I am going crazy. I am trying to look at this as some much needed time off that I am in desperate need of. I have had surgey before, but this will be the most serious. I guess we need to just take this one day at a time and hope for the best! If there is at least one thing we women are able to do is handle all situations that are thrown at us. Make a list of things you would like to accomplish before surgery. (including quality time with your family!!! ) This will help possibly keep your mind off things. I wish you much love and health and hope everything goes well!!!! Best wishes

I will have had 8 weeks to wait for mine..I'm going in on May 17. The waiting is getting to me too...I'm not afraid of the procedure, but my biggest fear is how long I'll be out of work. I am such a conscientious person that I am more worried about how my boss will do without me than anything else...I hate to be the cause of him stressing out. But that's just the way I am. I keep telling myself that I am overreacting and that he will be fine without me.
As far as my family, my DH is taking a week off to help me, and I am thankful for that. It's true that he won't do things the way I would, but I will take what I can get! My mom will be nearby if I need her and I have 2 adult children(I've already told my 24 yr old son that he will be in charge of vacuming for 6 weeks!) and my daughter. I don't want her doing too much to help me as she has a 4 yr old and is 21 weeks pregnant with her second child.
Hang in there...I know you'll make it!

I know exactly how you feel. I, too, have 2 boys (7 & 10) and was a nervous wreck about how things would be without me to do it all. My husband travels a lot for work and I have no family nearby (we're in GA and our families live in OH and PA). I never knew it until my surgery was scheduled about how much of a control freak I was when it came to running this house! lol! The advise given by ccharspen above is wonderful. My husband and I sat our boys down and explained to them that Mom wouldn't be able to do much for a few weeks and that they would all have to pitch in to help. We made it an event that they could feel good about rather than worrying about Mom or griping everytime they had to do for themselves. The kids were eager to help out and my husband surpassed my expectations. My Mom did come to help which I couldn't have done without. I absolutely had to have help since my husband couldn't keep taking days off work and the kids needed to be taken to school, etc. Having your boys go to a relative's house is great. You will need time to rest, rest and rest!

I didn't have a lot of time to dwell on my surgery, like you do, but all I can offer is that for the few weeks that I did have, I took long walks to ease my mind, read books, rented movies and most importantly, prayed for peace of mind. I would have anxiety from time to time with heart palpitations and everything - something I never have, but deep breathing exercises to calm myself down always worked. I have a great family support system, too, which helped immeasurably. They probably got tired of hearing me talk about it, but offered support nonetheless.

Good luck to you. You will be ok - the waiting truly is the hardest part. I am almost 8 weeks post op and feel like my old self, minus a few organs, but better for it! I am officially in menopause now (no ovaries), and even then I can't complain. I will be praying for you and thinking of you these next few months. It will fly by. Count on your hystersisters when you need to. We are here for you!