Upcoming hysterectomy 4/13: Alone, Literally, and In Need of Support

Hi Ladies,

I'm so glad I found this community. I have no family here, other than my 10 y/o son (who I only have part-time). All my friends here are either busy with family or live around an hour away. My mom was supposed to come to care for me post-op, but it looks like she may not make it. I'm sad, scared, and I've honestly never felt so alone in my life.

I am sorry your mom may not make it to you for your surgery. Perhaps it could be possible for her to come a day or two later. Being scared is totally normal, after all, this is a major surgery and whatever is the cause for this surgery has likely been impacting your life for quite some time. In the event your mom can't make it, just make sure to prepare your home in advance (laundry & shopping done, meals planned & frozen, etc.).

I also had difficulty with my friends not being around. They were either far away or too busy with work and their own families. I knew this in advance so I told them they could support me simply by texting me and checking in (my friends at work did this too). I understood how busy they were and I am the one that actually lives away from the majority of them. I frequently got texts and it was very fulfilling. I knew they were thinking about me but simply couldn't get out to where I live with the juggling of their jobs and kids.

This site is amazing...a family in itself. I encourage you to use your recovery thread after your surgery. Some people lurk and never chide in, others are hit and miss, while many are on everyday...even multiple times a day. My recovery thread was awesome. The hostesses are incredible! Most importantly, it was fabulous to connect with others experiencing the same things at the same time. No question is too embarrassing to ask, just ask it. Everyone is so supportive...you will certainly never feel alone on your recovery thread.

I wish you well with your surgery and recovery. Soon this will all be in your review mirror.

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I am so sorry to hear that you are feeling alone. That just really stinks. You ARE family here on this forum and we are here to help.

I see you are having a DaVinci hysterectomy. Is that correct? If so, you should have a great recovery. I had a DaVinci total hysterectomy (kept tubes and ovaries) just over 2 weeks ago and I am feeling great. My incisions are almost healed, I'm cleared for normal activity (all except heavy lifting/exercising), and I am taking Aleve every now and then for pain. I'm still not over-doing it or I'll be hurting, but if I'm cautious, I can go about my normal day with energy.

I was at the hospital overnight one night. You will need someone to drive you home from the hospital, but other than that, you should be able to manage your personal care on your own. I didn't really need any help getting in/out of bed, in/out of the shower, etc. My incisions were covered with a dermabond glue and it was super easy to care for them. I had asked a caregiver to stay with me every day for a week, but I quickly learned that wasn't necessary. I felt like I could care for myself after I got home from the hospital. I did have daily help, though, for the first 5 days post-op. Did I need it? No. Was it nice? Yes.

During the first few days, I read, slept or watched TV. I didn't really have much of an appetite: ate a lot of saltines and drank cranberry juice the first few days. I didn't get my appetite back until after a week post-op.

If you have an account on social media, don't hesitate to ask your "Friends" for help. I did!!! Several times! I have 4 young kids and when they came back home after being away for a week, I needed help with meals. I asked my friends on Facebook to help. I had people from other states sending me gift cards or calling Papa Johns to deliver a meal. They wouldn't have done it unless I asked. I encourage you to tell the people around you that you need help. Do you go to church? There is probably a group of women who would love to bring you a meal. If you don't go to church, you can still ask a local church to help, especially with food.

I am sorry you feel alone. I know you feel anxious about your surgery; I was in your shoes just 17 days ago!!! The other side of a DvH is not terrible; it was smoother than I thought. Take a deep breath. You will get through this.

Hugs.

Thank you SO much! Your response really helped! I can also certainly appreciate the time you took to write it I feel much able and stronger, after reading your reply. I feel like I can stop worrying about a lot of it now! HUGS!!!!

Thank you! I def feel the love here! I really feel blessed to have found you guys. Helps feeling a lot less lonely. Your prep ideas are super helpful, and I had no idea about the recovery thread, until you mentioned it! Thank you so much!! Also, LOVE the rearview mirror imagery!

Silverstar,

Could you contact Catholic Community Services? A friend just suggested that to me, and I'm not Catholic. She said they can help with housekeeping, etc.

Hoping things start to fall in place for you!

In fact, saying that to you is helping me start to get my own thoughts about my surgery in order. Thanks!

Silverstar, I am sorry that you are feeling alone. However, I will tell you that with this community, you will not be alone at all.

I had my LSH almost (gasp) ten years ago!! Yikes, where did time go? My mother and daughter were with me the day of surgery, and my daughter did spend the first two nights at my house (although she was at work all day).

This meant that I was, pretty much, on my own. I spent a lot of time on this site posting and chatting with my "sisters". I even ended up meeting two of them in person, which was fun.

Everyone here is here for you, so make sure to reach out, while you are recoup-ing. You will be amazed how much at home you will feel, with the ladies here.

You will do great!

This is a wonderful supportive site! You are not alone and your HysterSisters love you! I am having my own fears and anxiety about my upcoming surgery on 4/ 18/ 2016! This site really has helped me, since I have no family near me as well! I am married, but my husband will returning from an over seas business trip so he going to be totally jet lagged out! So I don't know how much help he will be! Usually I'm always taking care of him! Anyway, the advice previously given about calling your church if you attend one, or even if you don't, call one anyway and ask if they have caregivers who can help you, or someone who can just bring you some food. Don't be afraid to ask; they want to help people! I'll probably have to call a church or my neighbor myself, to care for me and my husband! Ha Ha! He's not a lot of help generally, with situations like this! Anyway this is a big surgery decision, and anybody would have some anxiety. That's normal in my opinion! Too much stress does a lot of crazy things to our bodies and our minds! Then add in our changing female hormones and this is a perfect recipe for anxiety attacks! So just take some deep breaths and know that you're really OK and all is well and hopefully you'll begin to calm down gradually! Anyway this is what I do, and it helps me to relax, plus going outside for a walk, easy excercise, or yoga. I think these activities help our minds and bodies to reset positively! Think some good thoughts too! This really helps me! Sometimes I get over whelmed with everything I'm trying to do and need to do, and I get freaked out! When this happens, I just need to stop a minute, and relax and try and put everything into a more positive perspective, rather than seeing things in a negative one! Anyway this helps me handle things better! I wish you all the best with your upcoming surgery! You are not alone! I will be thinking good, positive thoughts for you! Hugs!

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Originally Posted by Silverstar777 Hi Ladies, I'm so glad I found this community. I have no family here, other than my 10 y/o son (who I only have part-time). All my friends here are either busy with family or live around an hour away. My mom was supposed to come to care for me post-op, but it looks like she may not make it. I'm sad, scared, and I've honestly never felt so alone in my life.

You said people were busy with family members but did they say that or was that an observation? People will help! I had 5 surprise people stop by. So many offers if I need anything. And I'm going to take it. Hopefully your mom can come one day but if someone offers accept! I'm sure you will be fine. Many tips on this site. For me drinking water and passing gas were so important! Good luck