So far from the hospital

With good traffic and good weather we live about an hour and a half from the hospital. I know my husband won't be able to spend the time he wants (or I want) with me. Even if he comes for 2-3 hours, he won't be back till the next day. We have no family here and no friends near by. I wouldn't expect my neighbors to come see me. I don't really care about all them just my husband and it just hit me. Now I'm so upset I can't stop crying and if I let him know that trust me he would sleep on the floor next to me. I'm usually so strong but I can't help thinking who's going to look out for me in the hospital more then that... I want my husband with me?

Awwww - I bet he WOULD stay with you if he knew you really wanted him to. Besides, IF he could, it's a good idea to have someone there just that first night. I'm sure the nurses will take good care of you, but if it would be comforting to you...why not ask him?


joano

If I wanted my DH to sleep on the floor just in case I needed him, I'd ask him in a heartbeat! Please consider that you need to worry about YOU right now, and I'm sure your husband will be happy to make you feel as secure and comforted as possible. If the hospital won't allow him to stay, could he stay at a nearby hotel for a few nights? That way he could be with you all day and you'll have some peace of mind.

A short time after I was in my room post-op, I dismissed my husband from my bedside. He kept asking me if I wanted more ice chips and was getting on my nerves so I told him to leave. It was much better with just my sweet, young, hunky nurse "Ben" taking care of me. My DH phoned me every day, a couple of times, but each time he called I told him not to bother to come to the hospital. I was being taken care of very well by the staff!

All I really wanted to do for the three days I was in the Castle was sleep, in between watching a bit of TV, and doing a little visiting with my roommate, who I really liked and who was a comfort to me.

The nurses and staff will be there to take care of you and make sure you are feeling comfortable and secure. I feel that nurses, by their very nature, are nurturing. They are employed and paid to "look out for you" and I bet they will do so.

Please stop crying and try to stop worrying.

s

I bet he would feel really good if he new you wanted him there when you need him most!

We live 1hr. 45 min. from the hospital and surgery is scheduled for a friday - so, I told DH that he doesn't have to come until I am discharged... he told me I am a crazy woman and he will be there for as long as I need him! I only have him, too - no friends in the area and it's too far for neighbors (who I don't know well enough, anyway). I don't really want visitors in the hospital other than him - I will be feelling my worst and I want to concentrate on getting well enough to go home!

The nurses will take good care of you! And you will make friends while you are in there. Definitely call the hospital because they have out of town patients al lthe time - they can help with arrangements or at least suggestions. A hotel is a good idea!

I really hope your plans will work out so that DH can be with you!
Thinking of you -

We live about 1.5 hours from the hospital as well. Our hospital had a form that it gave to us so that dh could get a cheap hotel room for the night after surgery. It was cheaper for him to stay at the hotel than to drive home and then back into town. Plus, he was there early in the morning with a milkshake for me to start my day (sounds weird but it was GREAT). So......check with the hospital and see if they can help you.

Love and blessings,
Angie K.

I flew from Victoria BC to Los Angeles for my surgery DH stayed @ home with kids. I have to say I was totally brave until the Dr. asked me who was with me at the hospital. I just started crying.

I would ask DH to stay with you. I'm sure he will bring you much confort. I don't know but I became such a big baby and was so lonely in that hospital by myself. Good thing it was only one night and then I was with good friends. Still nothing could ever replace DH.

Sirap

I am far from the hospital and i never for one moment considered not having my husband by my side.

I have booked him a motel room for three nights and ill make him bring his pager incase he is out to dinner when i need to talk to him.

for me its the traveling by car that worries me with an epidural incission sitting for two and a half hours is a car maybe in winter conditions (slow)ect..its just the car ride for me im concerned about with the distance traveled to the hospital. TVH A&P.

is there a reason your husband cannot stay with you, close by.

take care..

Hi,

Maybe you could ask your dh to be with you at least for the first night. I live 2.5 hours away from where I had my surgery and although we were given a form with really good govt rates for some of the local hotels in town, they actually allowed and encouraged my fiance to stay in my room (they gave me a private one) and he was able to get his money back for the 3 nights that he had booked at a nearby motel. It was really nice having him right there with me. He helped me out of bed, helped me take that first shower, walked the halls with me...he was really a huge help. There was only one drawback...he SNORES...and that made for some restless moments at times but all in all, I could overlook it because he came through for me by being there.
Good luck with whatever you decide and stop worrying. The first day I was "so out of it", I didn't know what was going on. The nurses had to wake me to give me shots in my tummy to prevent blood clots, take my vitals, notify me of my "yummy" clear breakfast, lunch and dinners, (being sarcastic..hahahaha) and all I did was sleep, sleep ...sleep....did I mention sleep? (smile)

Peace and Blessings, MzTumari

I'm so sorry that your dh may not be able to stay with you after your surgery. Is it the hospitals policy or does he just have other obligations. When I had my TAH 4 weeks ago, I was in a private room and they had a bed just for him to spend the night but I thougt we would both rest better if he went home. Even though our kids are 16 and our 23 year old still lives with us pending college I just really wanted everyone to stay at home where I knew they would be safe due to some odd weather we had been having that week. I felt I could just rest better and heal quicker if I wasn't worrying about everyone in my family trying to get out in that bad weather. Mom was a little upset but she understood how I felt about wanting all my loved ones home safe and sound. If the driving distance is the problem, just call the hospital and ask if you could reserve a private room. Usually they don't have a problem with the husband staying the night(if it's a private room) and most hospitals have those little lounge chairs that turn into little beds. It can't hurt to ask. I will be keeping you in my prayers and please know that if for some reason he can't stay, I pray that God will surround you with so many angels and you will have nothing but peace and comfort your entire stay. Keep us informed!!!