Trying to make the decision

Hi, this is my first post after my introduction so let me introduce myself..I'm 45, have a SAH (the plan is to keep my one remaining ovary if it looks healthy) scheduled for Nov. 10th due to a large fibroid causing pain and heavy bleeding. I also have had fibromyalgia since I was 20. I never had children and definitely have some sadness about that fact and removing my "womb" even though I'm almost 46 and have a snowball's chance in hell of having a child, let alone a healthy one. There is still a sense of losing something which I'm sure most women would understand.
I have had 11 or 12 (lost count) pelvic surgeries for cysts, endometriosis, etc.. since I was 18. Only 2 of those have been invasive or abdominal, including removing my right ovary and fallopian tube 10 years ago. The rest were lapscopes. I have a history of severe sickness from anesthetic: vomiting, shaking and such but it has been much better the last several surgeries due to better meds. I'm very nervous about this. I just saw my OB/Gyn 2 weeks ago and all the sudden I have a SAH scheduled for 12 days from now! Ugh.
I was just talking (crying really) to my husband about how I feel so unprepared for this surgery. I feel a bit rushed into it by my mother actually because she wants to be here for it ( I live in Michigan ) and spends Jan- April in Florida. I am in quite a bit of pain from the fibroid and am so ready to be done with 35 years of painful, heavy periods but I feel like I may need a bit more time to prepare myself physically and emotionally for an actual hysterectomy. I am still thinking about cancelling and getting a second opinion and taking my time. Part of me wants to just get it over with and be free of the fibroid pain and periods and part of me feels like I need more time and information. I hate that I do need my mom's help post-op (with my 2 dogs and such) and that means I would have to wait until at least the end of April. So..it's in 12 days or wait 6 months. Kind of between a rock and hard place. Any advice, support, and/or insight would be appreciated. I'm glad I found this site, it's nice to have "sisters" in this.

No one can make this decision except you.

I will say, that I spent 6 years in extreme pain, and the prior 15 years in moderate pain. The 6 months prior to my hysterectomy were excruciating pain, with the month before being unbearable, unable to work, and unable to leave the house due to excessive bleeding. So I completely get where you are coming from.

I had surgery on June 1, 2015, and at 3:00 pm, when they woke me up, all of a sudden it was.....gone. Peace. At last. It's been 5 months for me, and not a day goes by that I regret it. It's like I've completely forgotten what that pain even feels like. I still rush to the bathroom afraid of gushing blood, but not a drop.

My recovery was extremely easy, peaceful, and zero complications. Sex is better now, with the earth-shaking, internal orgasms easier, faster, and just as strong. Weight is down about 10 lbs., putting me within about 5 lbs. of goal weight. Energy levels are normal, after years of anemia.

I had a laparascopic supracervical, so I kept my cervix and my ovaries. Because my uterus was 20-week pregnancy sized, he had to do a 4" bikini cut incision. My only issue is that above my incision, I am still numb and may always be. I also have a bit of a belly overhang, like my tummy sticks out a little and because it's numb, I can't suck it in. That's due to the fat I had there prior to the surgery, so it's up to me to bring it down.

Literally from the minute I woke up from surgery, I felt instantly better.

Wow that's an awesome hyster story! Very positive and it is helpful, giving me hope and lots to think about. I know what you mean about that little bit of a pouch that hangs down above the scar, I have that too and it's so annoying! I'm about 12 lbs or so from my ideal weight so I'm sure that doesn't help! I also have that numb feeling right above my scars (from my previous surgeries) and it has never gone totally away but I'm used to it and it doesn't really bother me. Thank you again for your input and I'm so glad you've had such a positive experience!

Not sure if this helps but what are you gaining by waiting? You know you are past the point of being able to carry a child. You have severe pain that is not going to get better. It sounds like you have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

It seems the biggest issue is that you were not expecting it. If the outcome will be the same (hyster no matter what) do you really want another 6 months of that kind of pain?

It is SOOOO tough because we think we need our uterus's to be women, that somehow we are less of a woman without them but that simply is not true.

I am 3.5 days out and i am still struggling emotionally but i know the outcome is going to be the same for me and this pain is dumb. I just had my last period where it was like i was hemorrhaging it was so bad. I also then started a second period 3 days after it stopped.

I too have had a couple surgeries. One was a tubal pregnancy and partial oopherectomy. The other one 6 months later was for a cyst but both were full bikini cut. The 2nd of the two was supposed to be day surgery but they burnt my bowel and i woke up admitted to hospital.

Write a list of pros/cons on a piece of paper to get better perspective and go from there. Good Luck.

Thank you sweetcanadian, you are right- there is really not much gain in waiting- I think I will be able to prepare myself better if I have more time to get used to the idea but in the meantime I would be having at least 6 more miserable periods and constant pain. I'm just nervous and like you said it's an emotional decision. It was quite sudden so I'm still processing-- thank you so much for your input and I wish you a textbook perfect surgery this time and a smooth recovery!

Thank you!

Please let us know what you decide.

I have had two years of knowing it was probably coming and 2 months of knowing for sure and that doesn't make any of it easier. It also doesn't make me feel any more prepared. Food for thought. Best of luck to you!