Hysterectomy decided upon 2days ago.

Hi, Two days ago I was placed on the waiting list for an hysterectomy. I'm in the UK and the waiting list is likely to be 16/17 weeks. Which means I have 4 months of stressing and worrying!
At the moment I'm fretting about things like having to pass wind/have a BM before being allowed home. Having a catheter fitted and the whole personal 'invasion' of surgery.
I'm overweight (although I am dieting and have lost a significant amount of wieght so far) and I'm fretting about being fat and having the OR staff hate me for making them work harder. I had an Hysteroscopy in Feb and got very stressed and scared on teh way to the OR then, so worry about a repeat of that.

How can I stop myself from going into overdrive about this. I'm 37 and none of my friends have gone through this. They are being squeamish and squeaking in horror at any discussion of the practicalities, or being sweepingly positive about "Well, who needs babies anyway". My Mum is just 'happy' that my health problems will be resolved and sees only that.

I don't even know what I'm trying to say really. How's this for a befuddled first post. Sorry!,
Lola

Hi Lola! You did a great job at saying what you were trying to say. We have "hyster-eyes" and can read right into it!

This waiting period is so hard. You think and think and make yourself crazy! I can honestly say that the waiting was the hardest part, as the song says. The recovery has its own set of issues but at least you know then what you are dealing with.

I am very overweight and that was my biggest concern pre-op. You know....complications because of the weight, embarrassment because of the weight....etc.

I am happy to report that I had no complications! I will tell you that I exercised fiercely before surgery because I knew that I needed to be stronger than the average gal to be able to push myself up using muscles I probably hadn't used much in the past. I found that water aerobics and swimming worked well for me but any kind of muscle-strengthening would help.

The gas and BM issues are common and the hospital will likely not let you leave until they know your bowels are functioning properly but that usually happens soon. It took me a few days before things started to work but they did, although it was just a little, it was enough that I was allowed to go home.

The catheter? Well, I hated it!! But they put it in while you are asleep and take it out as soon as they know you can urinate on your own. For me that was a few days but from what I read from other women, it's usually sooner.

You may not find understanding from your friends because they haven't been through it but you will find a million friends here with plenty of love and understanding who are or have been where you are. We are here for your support, 24/7!

Best wishes!

I'm 34. I have stage IV endometriosis and suspected adenomyosis. DH and I did two rounds of IVF last year, and they both failed. Even though we thought we had "given up," I hadn't, not really. I was devastated when my doc said hysterectomy at my last lap. A part of me knew it was coming, but I was still somehow bowled over by it.

Anyway,I started going to a grief counselor. She has been working with me in all of this. I would never ever say my pain or our pain is greater because we don't have children. Ladies that do have many children still feel this is a loss, because, well it is! Anyone would grieve the loss of a limb, this is the same, and just as improtant. Maybe you could check into seeing a grief counselor, maybe they could help! The one I was referred to was given to me by my gynecologist's nurse.

As far as weight is concerned, just do your best to lose what will expedite healing and improve overall health. This surgery isn't about the hospital staff, it's about improving your health! I think orderlies and nurses forget about us for the most part after they go home... I forget about most of my job when I go home, why wouldn't they do the same?! Could some of your weight be related to the underlying cause of the hysterectomy?? You never know... my endo wears me out something fierce!

Good luck sweetie!

Thank you for your reassurances, particularly for the honesty as opposed to a "there there it will all be alright" approach.

Most of my concerns are linked to the embarassment side of things, I hate the thought of people poking around 'there', and my weight exacerbates that. I know I'll get used to it, and I know that everyone goes through it but I'm a good fretter!

(I seem to not be replying to individuals, but just adding to the bottom of a list - am I doingsomthing wrong?)

Kirsten62975, Thank you for your response.
I'm not in a relationship at the moment, but always had that "it's possible" thing going on in the background, Now I know that it no longer is, I'm finding it harder. Because I'm single though, people assume that I don't want kids and therefore that aspect doesn't need to be addressed.

As to weight, I'm doing my best to lose, have been dietng since Feb and have made good headway - even joined a gym, so I'm trying!

Thanks for you support.
Lola

I waited quite a while for my hysterectomy, too. I was originally going to have it the spring but was uncomfortable with what the doctor wanted to do. I had to seek a 2nd opinion. When that went through the system I then found it was best to switch medical groups in order to get things done. I did that and my spring hysterectomy turned into a fall hysterectomy. I found it best to get focused on other things in my life in between. It worked fairly well until the last 2 weeks before surgery during which time I developed pretty bad insomnia. My advice is try to prepare yourself for your surgery (knowing what you need to know, planning for post-op care, etc.) and then just live your life! Hopefully it will move to the back of your mind until you need to deal with it again when the date draws closer. If that doesn't work you may want to see if you can find a therapist who can help you understand the anxiety and reduce it. Some people find things like guided meditation to be useful for stress. Take care of yourself.

Re preparing my self for post op etc - I have my personal care sorted (hurrah for nearby parents!), I think I'll be a little calmer once I've sorted out my work situation.

I do okay not thinking about it until evenings, and when in bed it's worse!

It'll get here pretty quick though I guess - Just ask whenI'm on here freaking 'cos it's op day tomorrow!

Thanks for offering support,
Lola

Your post sounds just fine. The worrying & waiting is the worst. It is best just to keep busy but that is easier said than done. You will pass gas & be able to leave the hospital. You don't have to worry about that one. Gas was my biggest problem. I am here to say that it can all go just fine. I did well & had a text book recovery. Just don't scare yourself. Best wishes.