sorry...long story

Hi,

I'm so frustrated. I'm six months post op and I'm now having some problems. My family doctor believes that I have adhesions so he sent me back to the doc I've been dealing with for my endo and then my hysterectomy.

When I went to see him he was acting strange and actually yelled at me because I couldn't get my pants of fast enough for him to do an exam. Of course I got upset and just kind of closed myself off to him. He also looked at my scar and said that it healed perfectly so I couldn't possibly have adhesions. According to my family doc the only way to tell is through laparoscopy.

I ended up going back to my family doc and told him what happened. He sent me to another specialist who said he wanted to look at my records and then do a laparoscopy to see what's going on. He said that he would call me with a date for the surgery. Anyways I went and got a copy of my medical records. According to the last letter the specialist sent to my family doc I have underlying emotional problems because I was acting withdrawn during my visit. He also stated that I was faking and that he was just doing some blood tests to make me feel better. I'm sorry but how else would you act when a doctor yells at you?

Now I'm worried that the new specialist isn't going to help me because of the last letter the old one wrote. I've made another appointment with the new guy but I'm kind of concerned that maybe now he won't beleive me about my symptoms. It's not like I want to have adhesions, I just want whatever is causing all this pain and exhaustion to stop.

Sorry to complain so much but I'm just so frustrated and upset. This is why I had the hysterectomy in the first place, a better quality of life. Has anybody else had issues where your doctor thought you were faking? What did you do about it? I kind of wonder if he thinks that if there is something wrong that I'm going to fault him for it. I don't mean to rant so much but I feel very confused about why a doctor that I liked so much before has all of a sudden changed so drastically.

Dropping by with a for you!

I will tell you from personal experience that I did have a dr think I was faking about a health issue and wrote a letter about it and it is does leave you feeling badly. So I empathize with your situation. I understand your nervousness and hope things work out well for you with your new dr. Try to give the new dr a chance and see if he will work with you, regardless of the last dr's response.

Best wishes to you.

The surgeon that did my tvh had been my dr for close to 10 years. Though I only saw him for well-woman exams I felt i had a good rapport with him. After the hyst i kept complaining about some pain/discomfort i was having and made quite a few visits to his office-the first 2 visits i saw associates since he was out of the office. the 3rd time I was in the ER due to urinary retention. the following monday (the ER visit was on a weekend) when I finally got to see my Dr he made a snide comment to me that really hit me the wrong way. I proceeded to tell him how i felt about his comment, allowed him to examine me, got dressed, and left his office. A few days later I went in and got my records and found a new Dr. Meanwhile i wrote him a letter telling him just how I felt about his little comment and that I was leaving his practice. of course with his god-like attitude I never received a letter in return.
With that long winded comment behind me, haha, I think you have every right to be upset by what your Dr said to you and how he treated you. I wouldnt be worried about seeing the new DR even with him having the letter from your old Dr in his possession. A good Dr is not going to judge you based on one Dr's comments. Go to your new appt and start from scratch. Maintain composure and dont let the DR get you off the subject as to why youre there--no idle chit-chat.

Post again and let us know how the new appt goes.

stay well
diana

Dear cmc,

I have had experience in the past with doctors not believing me (I have an 'invisible disability') and I know how damaging that is to your self-esteem. We are vulnerable when going to a doctor to ask for help, and the way some of them treat us is appalling.

My suggestion would be to start your appointment with the new doctor by saying very briefly that your last one didn't take you seriously for some reason and decided there was nothing wrong you without actually looking, and that is why, with your family doctor's backing, you have decided to seek another. Then get on with your appointment.

Best of luck,

Miz

cmc,
I got mad at my doctor who blew me off at 5 weeks post-op and said see you in a year. So when my bladder repair came undone I decided that I wouldn't go see him again - turns out that may have been the best thing I have ever done - the new gyn I saw (HMO) informed me that my original doctor was the HMO's specialist (which I knew) and since I wasn't happy with him they would have to send me out of the system to a uro/gyn yeah - that is what I wanted all along. In the meantime I am having all new tests run by the HMO and then I will be referred - I am having pains in my pelvic area too - so we'll see what happens - I think it's endo or adhesions - but I am no doctor. Good luck to you. Hope we both find our answers.

The truth is, doctors are our employees. We pay them, with cash, credit and/or insurance to perform a service for us. If they do not perform satisfactorily we have the right and option to fire them.

Having said that - which I firmly believe - I must confess that I have a terrible time actually doing it. I was raised to respect a Doctor's Authority and to be a "polite lady." Times have changed, however. We often have to bargain with our insurance to change doctors and they often make it difficult. It is not as common to have a long-time relationship with a doc, and the doctors are under more pressure from insurance and often get an "attitude" about their job, leaving the patient (client) feeling bad about seeking help!

Do your best to be your own advocate - your health is a precious thing. Don't let your justifiably hurt feelings keep you from hiring someone capable to aid you in restoring your health.

I, too, have had a similar situation. If it makes you feel better, tell the new doctor that you are there because you felt the other doctor was dismissing your concerns. Keep in mind that your regular doctor would not have referred you to a new doctor if he didn't believe you. This will mean more to the new doctor then the fact that you were "withdrawn" with the other doctor. Good luck!