Hysterectomy Scheduled 10/26/17

Hi ladies ,

My name is Melody. I live in Columbia SC. I am 32 years old without any living children. I had a unplanned pregnancy in 2013 resulting in a stillbirth at 23 weeks gestation. I continue to battle the lost which doesn't help that I labored for 32 hours. Nevertheless, I have made a decision to have a hysterectomy for excessive vaginal bleeding due to being placed on blood thinners last year for recurring dvt and pe (blood clots). While I was blood thinners 3 IUDs were place. Due to excessive bleeding, I bleed out the 2 IUDs and recently had the 3rd IUD taken out approximately 2 1/2 weeks ago due to continuous heavy bleeding for 3 weeks each month. I made the decision to get Total Laparoscopic Hysterectomy (cervix, uterus, fallopian tubes). After receiving the surgery date and time, I have been an emotion wreck. I am generally not emotional person but when I talk to certain people about it, I have to force myself from crying because I know in my mind I am ending my ability to have any children in the future. This decision is based on my desire to improve one aspect of my quality of life and I try remain focus on my reasons why this is being done. However, I have some friends who do not support this decision because of my age and not being in a relationship and not knowing if I will meet my future husband who may want kids. I know I can parent in the future in other ways. On the other hand, I have friends who I feel can't help me emotionally which ends up turning into a situation where I am angry and disappointed. I am trying to feel confident about this decision but at time I feel I may have a since of regret. I am currently involved into 2 Precept bible studies and I trying to rely on God for strength but most of the time I feel it's an difficult task. I joined Hystrsisters today 9/16/17 to be apart of a supportive network of empowering woman undergoing similar transitions.

~Melody

Melody, to Hystersisters!
I'm sorry for your loss. Your friends' responses do not surprise me; most people who haven't gone through anything like what you've gone through can't possibly understand what it's like, not to mention most people believe that a woman's main purpose in life is to produce children. You won't find any of that on this site; we're a large community of women, some of whom have had similar experiences, and we're ready to support you through this. When you do meet the man of your dreams, I'm sure he'll love you just the way you are, regardless of your inability to give him children. One thing I would recommend is to visit our pre-op page, which has articles on many topics of interest; if you still have any questions, just ask us, at any time of the day or night, and we'll be here to answer. Best wishes for a successful surgery and a smooth recovery!

Big hug! God will provide for you and care for you in so many ways during this time and please remember this: God will make your family his perfect way and this surgery is protecting not only your physical health but emotional too. I'm 34 we weren't sure about kids but I physically feel so much better. Any man that is worth anything will love you and will want a family with you, even if it's not carrying a baby. My husband reminds me that I'm more than a uterus. You Are More is a great song (can't remember artist) and Exhale by Plumb. You are doing what is best for you and that's brave!!!

Fluffy_Kitten;

Thanks for the big hug. Thank you for being a inspiration in terms of I am more then a uterus. Sometimes doing something brave is scary and uncomfortable but it's necessary to improve that area of my life. I am trying to search for positivity deep down inside but at times it's overwhelming. I know God knew this was going to be apart of my plan before I was even thought of. It helps when you have the support specifically from the opposite sex.

~Melody

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Originally Posted by fluffy_kitten Big hug! God will provide for you and care for you in so many ways during this time and please remember this: God will make your family his perfect way and this surgery is protecting not only your physical health but emotional too. I'm 34 we weren't sure about kids but I physically feel so much better. Any man that is worth anything will love you and will want a family with you, even if it's not carrying a baby. My husband reminds me that I'm more than a uterus. You Are More is a great song (can't remember artist) and Exhale by Plumb. You are doing what is best for you and that's brave!!!

My heart goes out to you in the loss of your child. (While I have 3 living, grown up children, I also lost one at the same stage as you and one at 15 weeks....and it would`nt matter if it was the first and only ,or number 10....the grief and loss, while it gets better with time, does not ever go away completely....I remember well how I felt, and that was almost almost 48 and 46 years ago! Can`t wait to meet those precious souls when I get to Heaven in a few years!)
Right now you need to take care of yourself and do what God is directing you to do to get to a healthier you! He will be there with you through it all.....He has promised that He would, and He keeps His word!
You don`t need to worry about a family today....God knows what He is going to do in that area....He knows the desire of your heart...and He has a plan.
I also have a daughter who could not ever have children and they adopted a beautiful baby girl (born at 24 weeks gestation, weighing 1 pound, 6 ounces) She is one of the sweetest joys of our lives. She just turned 22 years old and we do not know what we`d have done without her in our lives! If my daughter would have been able to have had her own bio-children, we`d never have known our precious Manda! Bio or adopted.....your "own blood" or not....MAKES ABSOLUTELY NO DIFFERENCE!
Prayers for your successful surgery and recovery...and a healthier life....be sure you come back here and give us an update!
Sincerely, Grandma Linda

Grandma Linda,

Thank you for the encouragement . It's such a blessing to see so many people demonstrated their belief in God on this site. As a child, I always had the desire to adopt but with work and all the other things I had going on, I decided to change my mind later into my early to mid twenties. Now that I am facing this life altering procedure, I am considering adoption in my future. Nevertheless, I am searching deep to lean on God and my Hestersisters for support. I will be sure to provide a update once I have successfully evicted my Fallopian tubes, cervix, and uterus (the crib) while hoping to leave my ovaries. Thanks so much.

~Melody

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Originally Posted by stampit3d My heart goes out to you in the loss of your child. (While I have 3 living, grown up children, I also lost one at the same stage as you and one at 15 weeks....and it would`nt matter if it was the first and only ,or number 10....the grief and loss, while it gets better with time, does not ever go away completely....I remember well how I felt, and that was almost almost 48 and 46 years ago! Can`t wait to meet those precious souls when I get to Heaven in a few years!) Right now you need to take care of yourself and do what God is directing you to do to get to a healthier you! He will be there with you through it all.....He has promised that He would, and He keeps His word! You don`t need to worry about a family today....God knows what He is going to do in that area....He knows the desire of your heart...and He has a plan. I also have a daughter who could not ever have children and they adopted a beautiful baby girl (born at 24 weeks gestation, weighing 1 pound, 6 ounces) She is one of the sweetest joys of our lives. She just turned 22 years old and we do not know what we`d have done without her in our lives! If my daughter would have been able to have had her own bio-children, we`d never have known our precious Manda! Bio or adopted.....your "own blood" or not....MAKES ABSOLUTELY NO DIFFERENCE! Prayers for your successful surgery and recovery...and a healthier life....be sure you come back here and give us an update! Sincerely, Grandma Linda

Melody.....I will look forward to hearing from you.
I believe you are going to do GREAT.
I`ll be praying that you can keep your ovaries.....so that you don`t have to go through surgical menopause yet.
I`m almost 68 and hoping to keep mine too, even though I went through "the change" about 20 years ago...they really do more for us than we might think....but I also have many friends (some quite a lot younger than myself) who had theirs removed and they are all doing fine......we are WOMEN...and we are strong! (Especially those of us who find our strength in God!)
You will be 11 days before me in surgery (Mine is Nov. 6th...so you can pray for me too!)
You will learn a lot on this site....many helpful hints and caring women who want to be supportive.
In Him,
Grandma Linda

Hi! My surgery is 10/30 so we will be really close. I am so sorry for the grief you are going through. For me it is a mourning experience too, even though I do have one living child. A month ago I found out I was unexpectedly pregnant. Three weeks ago I had surgery to remove ectopic and do a D&C- they didn’t actually find an ectopic but they did find adhesions all over my pelvis adhering my uterus, left ovary and tube- my bladder and possibly my bowel too. My OB recommended a hysterectomy and while I did not know I wanted another baby- it has been really hard to let go of it once it was a reality for a short time. I will pray that God will wrap you in his arms as we count down to our surgeries- I think the waiting is the hardest part!!

Essie3223,

Thank you for finding inspiration even though you have equally experience a traumatic episode 3 weeks ago. I pray that you also find comfort and confidence in knowing that God knows what he is doing and that he will guide our surgeons hands. I don’t know what’s in store for you or myself but it has to be a greater plan. I agree with you that having the patience to wait for me is creating more doubt eventhough I have medical reasons that are clear to get this procedure done. I don’t want to have any regrets after the fact. I do not want to feel sad and tearful if people around me continue to have babies. I realize the unknown is uncharted territory and willing to go though it but I’m shaking in my boots .

~MMeanor

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Originally Posted by Essie3223 Hi! My surgery is 10/30 so we will be really close. I am so sorry for the grief you are going through. For me it is a mourning experience too, even though I do have one living child. A month ago I found out I was unexpectedly pregnant. Three weeks ago I had surgery to remove ectopic and do a D&C- they didn’t actually find an ectopic but they did find adhesions all over my pelvis adhering my uterus, left ovary and tube- my bladder and possibly my bowel too. My OB recommended a hysterectomy and while I did not know I wanted another baby- it has been really hard to let go of it once it was a reality for a short time. I will pray that God will wrap you in his arms as we count down to our surgeries- I think the waiting is the hardest part!!