Non-medical question

Andrea,

Yes, I may be a bit hormonal or lack ther of, but I am so sorry for your situation and sat here and cried with you. Could your husband or would he be willing to go to the Dr with you so the Dr could explain to him what extensive surgery that you had and what it takes to heal?? It just amazes me how callous some people can be. Stress for both of you? Hormones out of wack for you?? I really think you need to talk with your MD about your depression and maybe counseling for both you and your husband?? You take care and you and your family definately will be in my prayers!!!

I am so, so sorry for what you're dealing with. i'll be thinking of you specifically!

Your dilemma truly breaks my heart. I read so much good advice in the many replies, the # which shows how many people care for you. Call your doctor, your church, your friends, anyone who can be of help in any way. Now is DEFINATELY about you!! No matter what happens between your husband and you, the consequences of what you do to yourself physically, mentally and emotionally now will stick with you for the rest of your life, and will impact your children as well. I'll keep you in my prayers. God bless.

Andrea, I'm sooo sorry for what you're going through. Men make lousy caretakers, at least at first - my dad has become pretty good at it!

3 weeks after surgery? Why, YES, it IS "all about you!!!!!" I couldn't lift a gallon milk jug for the longest time, (6 weeks??) or bend down and pick up the shampoo bottle from the basket on the shower floor. It amazed me, too, just how helpless and useless was. But it didn't change the fact.

Under the influence of painkillers, I got down on the floor my second week and cleaned a pet puddle that my DH couldn't be bothered with and *really* hurt myself. I sometimes wonder if I would have recovered faster if I hadn't done that.

Try to think of things you can accomplish *within* your current limitations, like 1) chores: making phone calls, folding socks; or 2) income: clipping coupons, cancelling expenses you can do without, selling things on eBay?? (I have a new bottle of perfume I have been meaning to sell, and a painting which no longer goes with our decor)

How old are your kids? Can they help??

Someone else mentioned MisterHysterSisters -- I don't know what's there, but maybe it would help if you show him other parts of this site -- not this thread - he won't be happy that we're talking about him, but maybe someone's story, or another thread about not overdoing it. Make it something very short & to the point - mens' attention spans are very short!!

Good luck, and hugs!!
Merrie

Andrea, I found the perfect thread to show your husband:

"Well I am now one of the overdoers"

HI Merrie, I just wanted to say that those are very good ideas that you gave to Andrea. and you are right this does make us feel so helpless. I think that is why I overdid it and had to write the thread about what I had done. I am just glad that I did not hurt myself. but I have been taking it a bit easier lately and I feel better. and I think you are right maybe Andrea and her DH might be able to get something out of reading the thread I started about overdoing it. I never thought that when I wrote it would be anything to talk about. it was just me rambling about my stupidity but it has gotten alot of response and I am glad. I hope you are doing better. and Andrea I hope that you will be doing better soon. take care of yourself, Cathy

It was VERY helpful. Now he knows that overdoing can put you back in the hospital. It was a reality check.

Thanks a million.

HI Andrea, I am so happy that my thread has helped you like I said I did not know it would help people so much when I wrote it. it was just the ramblings of a crazy person .but I am so happy that it could help your DH to understand how important it is for you to take it easy at this point in your recovery. good luck and take care, Cathy

All the love and good advice expressed here is seconded by me.
I am thinking of you Andrea and praying for you and reminding you of one thing....
It is always darkest before the dawn.

Give one of the many hugs you have received here to your DH.
Sounds like he needs one.

Thank you for all your love and support. Believe me, it IS appreciated.