very confused

Two weeks after my surgery. I had a very bad reaction to the anastesia and the pain killers in the hospital. My main wound(had the divinci) draining. Now I am feeling so fuzzy and exusted all the time--and emotional-crying for no reason-pains in strange places, can't get comfortable. like my whole world is upside down--and then I am going to be getting some radiation or chemo starting in the beginning of November. I am a pain in the a-- to all who love me. I can't respond right to their paitance and love. My body feels like it's turning on me. I used to think I 'knew" how to listen to my body and my emotions--I thought through Tai chi and yoga I learned to have a handle on my emotions--but now it's just confusing and I am angry and crazy by turns.
I just need help.

Positivechi -

First take a deep calming breath and receive the I am sending your way. You have been through a lot.

Second, give yourself a huge break. You just had surgery a couple of weeks ago. It is not unusual to have crying episodes and be wildly emotional after surgery even under the best of circumstances. I cried at nothing for weeks.

Third, it sounds like you received a cancer diagnosis which also increases your anxiety, stress and emotional reactions. I didn't know me for quite sometime after surgery until everything settled down. The sensation will return but you have to give yourself time to meet / learn the new you.

As the song says "breathe, just breathe..." and take one day and sometimes one hour or minute at a time.

Thanks--I am just feeling like I can't explain anything to my friends and family--they are trying very hard and I feel awful that I can't help them. I tire so easy and I feel guilty about the way they have been taking care of me even before the surgery. Now I feel like they are stuck with me for the recovery and chemo or radiation or what ever my doctor decides. I'm too weak to even sweep a floor these days. I can dress and bathe myself again, but i just hate that I am always tired from so little, especiall when my family has health issues of their own. Just don't know how to make things better.

There are 2 extra things that might help you from this site.

One is to pop in on the Recovery Progress thread for your week of surgery. Here's a link to it https://www.hystersisters.com/vb2/sho...d.php?t=452213

The women there know what it's like to be about 3 weeks out of recovery.

Second, if you haven't done so there is a wonderful Cancer Concerns forum on the site. If you go to the Menu above it will give you some additional information and you can get to the site from there. The women there are very supportive and knowledgeable.

Try not to feel like you are a burden to your family (I know that is difficult) instead try to realize that they are concerned about you and are helping out so you have time to get better.

Cancer affects the whole family not just the one diagnosed with it.

Dear Positivechi,
I agree with Tauruslady that you are in need of big hugs, and that you are being too hard on yourself. There are no right or wrong ways to explain your emotions to anyone, and it's not always your responsibility to do so. You don't need to justify your emotional and physical pain to anyone else, even your family. I do not in any way mean to sound critical, but it sounds like you are being harder on yourself than anyone else is.
So soon after surgery is a very painful and emotional and confusing time. Give yourself time to gather your own thoughts before trying to explain them to others. I too felt like I never knew how to explain my feelings, and most things people said to me weren't comforting, so I'd just ask to be held and be silent, and sometimes that was better than anything anyone else could say.
Try to be patient with yourself dear.

Just letting you all know, I am feeling better now. I sometimes just try to do too much too fast.

Positivechi

glad to hear you are doing better.

We are here for you.