It's me again

Hi sisters, boy can one cry a ton when their hormones are out of control. Here is a quick recap. I’m sure you remember me from last week; dh walked out because of dd attitude. He came back and I thought things were going ok. He left again in the middle of the night last ningt when I was asleep. Today I drove to find him working at his shop. He asked me why I drove if I was to be recovering. I told him that it was hard for me to recover if he keep walking out and not using his cell phone. I asked if we could talk. We went into his office and he told me that it has been all an act that he went off his depression medication 2 weeks ago. He won’t take it anymore and he didn’t want to seek any help. He said if he can’t figure it out on his own then it is no use. He said he didn’t feel like he was worth anyone’s love and he didn’t know if he loved me any more. He said some mean things to me, some of it was double talk to. I just don’t know. I feel sick inside. He doesn’t know if he wants to stay married to me as “I could do better than him and I deserve better”. We have been married for almost 22 years. 12/18 will be 3 weeks since surgery. My dd and ds are totally crushed. I’m beyond down in the dumps, I don’t want to get a divorce, we went through that 4 years ago, with a 4 month separation. We are good together and I really do love him, but he doesn’t want to hear it. I think a lot of it has to do with him loosing his job at FM Co., trying to start his own business and with hard economic time and no work coming in, let’s top it off with me being out of work with no pay while I go through this recovery.

I know I am a strong woman, but I hurt from my head to my toes especially around my heart and stomach. I can’t talk to my extended family about this as my mom starts her chemo next week for lung and bone cancer. I won’t talk to my kids as I want them to have a relationship with their dad.

I feel like a big baby, and stupid for writing this but I feel all alone. Please pray for him, that he'll get the help he needs from us and a professional

I just came across and read your post. Please don't feel stupid for writing your post. That is what we are here for. I want to say that I am so sorry for what you are having to go through. I do believe in the power of prayer. God is an amazing God! I will be praying for you and your family. I have been married for 18 years and I just had my surgery on December the 4th. So, I am almost two weeks post op. I could not imagine hearing the words that you've been told especially at a time like this. And to know that you have no one close to that you can vent it to. Well you have the Lord! Just tell him all about it. He already knows anyway. He just wants to hear from you. Please hang in there and be strong. Call on the Lord!

I am so sorry about what you are going through. I'll pray that your husband gets the help (and possibly more medication) that he needs. You don't deserve this at this time in your life. Your children don't deserve it either. And here it is.........the holidays. I'll pray that you can be reconciled by Christmas. No family should experience separation and heartache at this time of the year. (or ever for that matter) Try not to let this slow down your recovery. Take care of yourself. I don't know how I would react to my husband walking out only 3 weeks following surgery and with no hormones!!!! I'll pray for the emotional well-being of all ofyou, and especiallly your dear children. How heart-wrenching this whole situation is. It sounds as if your husband just wants out.........away from all responsibility. I wish you had someone, even if it's not family, nearby to talk to. You know, sometimes it's even easier to talk to someone that is NOT family. Perhaps you can get some emotional support from a local pastor or free mental health clinic. I'll pray that you also get through Christmas without too much more trauma to your psyche. Here's a cyber for you.You need it, that's for sure.

Iadbloom,
I will pray for you and your family. Please dont take this the wrong way but I must say that it sounds as if you will be better off recovering without your "dh" at this point. Please do not let him bring you down. Do not give him that much power. I do not know him so I am only guessing her but with him going off his meds at such an important point in YOUR life seems very selfish. His "you deserve better" seems to be a plow to get you to tell him how important he is. This time is not about him hun, its about YOU! Please keep the focus on YOU and get better. When you are healed physically you can work on the emotional aspect. Keep your DS and DD close and let them help you and let their dad worry about his relationship with his kids.

Get well and hugs and prayers comin attcha!

Oh my goodness! You know we're praying!
I know that hurt that seeps through every cell. I know also that it is hard to talk to family. But you have us.
And we really do care

We spoke tonight, he is so down, I pointed out to him that it has been a hard couple of months with: his dad being sick, my mom getting cancer, a friend of his commiting suicide and he being one of the people to clean up his house where he killed himself, no incoming work, my surgery, bill collectors calling, me loosing my income for 5 weeks. The holday's and him taking himself off his meds. He doesn't want help from anyone, he doesn't want any physical contact from anyone. Do I call his dr. and tell him about this? He said that if I told anyone he'd walk out and do something. I don't know what to do? He's calling out for help but does't want any.

CALL HIS DR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
No if's and's or but's!
He cannot make rational decisions right now, and hard as it is even when you have to do it when they are well, you HAVE to do it now. I know it's hard, I had to put my son in a Christian Mental Hospital and later my X husband.
Sometimes things are bigger then we are and we need that help.

I'm so sorry your going through this. The timing couldn't be worse. Mental illness is a hard illness to deal with. I have a DD who is bipolar and we have been having a hard time lately getting her meds right. It weights heavy on a family. It seems like the holidays really trigger a lot. That on top of everything else your family has gone through with his job, new business, debt collectors, sensless passing of a good friend, lack of meds. There is no question of if a call to his doctor is in order. Call NOW!! I know how hard this must be with your recovery still not complete but this is a matter of life and death.

I will pray for you and you family to find help and peace. Please know we are here for you always!

I am so sorry to hear that things are not improving. Mental illness is very hard for everyone involved. Please call his dr. I have had to do this for a family member and we agreed that she was in danger and needed help. I called the police and they picked her up and she got the help she needed. She was mad at first but when she became mentally healthy again she knew I did it for her own good. If he is threatening to hurt himself you have to act to protect him. You are in my prayers!

I am soooooo sorry you are going through so much now. I will certainly keep you and your family in my prayers..........it surely is a powerful thing. I agree with the other ladies, I would call his doctor.