Well Meaning Friends

No problem or question, just an observation.

Ever since we found out I need a hysterectomy, my friends keep trying to comfort me. The thing is, I am fine with everything and don't need comforting! I definitely appreciate that they care so much about me, but I am so ready to get this done.

It's kind of funny. I have had several surgeries throughout my almost 58 years, and it seems that as they wheel me down the halls, I am the one comforting everyone else!

Feeling blessed to have friends who love me enough to drive me nuts! And looking forward to getting this surgery behind me next Tuesday!

You are lucky indeed. Many of our members find their friends unsupportive or absent. Don't forget to call on those friends after surgery when you may need their help with making food or cleaning or getting a ride.

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Originally Posted by Elsie 1122 You are lucky indeed. Many of our members find their friends unsupportive or absent. Don't forget to call on those friends after surgery when you may need their help with making food or cleaning or getting a ride.

I definitely will call on them if I need them. They have offered, and I know I can depend on them. I also have a supportive husband who isn't working at the moment, so he will be here for me.

My surgery was for cancer. I did a lot of research on hysterectomies and cancer because that's how I cope with things: I seek out information. This meant that I spent a lot of time answering my friends' questions and sharing my information with them! This worked pretty well because having information to share helped me feel more capable and in control.

Also, I found that I had a better idea of where I actually needed help than my friends did. When I could think of a specific thing that a specific person could do, that seemed to help them. For example, a friend of mine who survived lung cancer asked what she could do to help. I replied, "You can tell me what it was like having chemo."

She was a little surprised but gave me a detailed description of life on chemo. Her description reassured me greatly that if it turned out I needed chemo, that was do-able, it was something I'd be able to get through. (As it happened, I didn't need chemo right after surgery - but I did end up having it a year later.)

I politely turned down inappropriate help. Since I live alone, one person suggested that I come stay with her for my recovery. My sister wanted to fly up from the States to come stay in my one-bedroom apartment. I know myself well enough to know that I'd want my own space and I'd want it to myself. I politely declined both offers. (Sis did come up in my sixth week post-op and we had a great visit.)

SurprisedInNB, I am the same way, researching everything that could affect me or my family and friends. In fact, that is how I found HysterSisters.