Where'd the family support go after 2 weeks?

I totally agree w/you. My mother was here for the first 2 wks. She just left yesterday (back to KS). About 1 hr. after she left I started to feel really alone! My DH & kids are great I guess, but if I hear the question, How are you today?, one more time, I think I'll scream. My husband seems to think I should feel better every day. I've explained that it's not a day-by-day thing more of a week-by-week thing. I'm scared to drive, but have not choice now w/mom gone. I'm just trying to keep the communication lines open with DH, hopefully that will help. GOOD LUCK TO YOU!

I read somewhere on this site to stay in your pj's for at least two weeks, well, you need longer than two weeks. So, put your pj's back on and lay on the couch, and maybe your family will get the idea!

Dac, excellent post and advice ! Not to mention the movie choices ! I agree that all surgeries are different. God bless the ones who are healing fast but it does take more time for some. Depending on the work done.
My surgery was supposed to be 2 hrs but ended up 3 hrs. I am assuming that alot of stitching, cauterizing and moving organs around happened . I'm trying to focus on the good things I'm feeling (or not feeling) like, no mood swings like I had before, no more lower back pain and stiffness. I am hopiing things will get even better as I heal.
I went for chinese food for lunch with hubby today, then to walgreens after (to stock up on fun stuff like suppositories, stool softeners, chocolate, and scandal mags ) and was totally whipped by the time I got home. Happy to be in my bed with the laptop. I sure hope I feel better after this 3rd week like the previous poster has felt. I would like to go back after 4 weeks if I'm up to it.

I'm not even a week out yet, and while mine was only a vaginal hysterectomy, my DH is already showing frusteration in dealing with the kids by himself. I helped out where I could, but I know he can't wait for the Doc to tell me I can do all again. The problem I'm facing now is that my DH travels 50% of the time for work. He was able to remain in town the first 2 weeks after my surgery, but will be heading back out of town this weekend leaving me at home with our 2-1/2 yr old daughter. How am I supposed to tell her that mommy can't pick her up? When child falls and is crying and you're the only one around, what are you supposed to do? My 5 yr old understands, but how do you make a toddler understand? There's no possible way. While I have local family, there's no way they can be with me 24/7 I'm worried.

Ditzy, I feel terrible for you. My DH only had to deal with me and the 2 dogs. My girls are grown and out of the house. My grandaugter is 1 yr old and she wanted me to pick her up. She will see me and stretch her arms out and I feel SO terrible not picking hr up. I put a pillow on my stomach and my daughter will let her crawl up on the bedand on the pillow, which is protecting my stomach. It sounds like you need more help for a longer period with the ages of your children. I can't imagine what you're dealing with. Your DH has work and extra duties. Has to be tough on him as well. Maybe you can hire a sitter to come in (a young teen perhaps?) that can do all the lifting you can't do. Even a young girl (10 yr) would be okay since you would be supervising.

I totally understand. Mom's aren't supposed to be sick. My hubby went hunting the weekend after I came home. I know it was planned months before my surgery was scheduled. But I still felt abandondned. Thank goodness my 17 year old stepped up. He did all the cooking and cleaning! Such a great kid. My 5 year old is getting restless with me. Why can't you take me....or do.....Then he whines. I keep telling him I will get better but I have to take the time to get well. I fell like they think I am being lazy because I am so tired in the afternoon I take a nap.

Thank you everyone for your support! I am feeling miserable today, and am only taking Tylenol because I promised my DS that I would pick him up from school. He didn't sleep well last night so I let him sleep in rather than wake early to ride his bike the 3 or so miles to school. Of course my DH says that I shouldn't do that, but then who is around to help? I will absolutely sit down with each of them tonight to let them know what I need before I wind up in the ER. No kidding about comparing surgery types and how people perceive the recovery period. I'm trying to have a good attitude today, and remember that I loved the care in the castle, but don't want to return anytime soon!

Dac, Thanks for everything!

Ditzy & Shelby, when my DS was 5 years old I had a migrane that made me so sick that I could barely talk. He was wonderful - called my sister in law so she could take me to the doc, and in the meantime brought me a glass of water and a cool washcloth for my head. I think they are so thoughtful at that age - mommy means everything to them. Maybe you can line up a neighbor or friend to be on call in case you need help.

I'm so glad this site exists! Who else would understand what we're going through?

Just wanted to thank everyone for their ideas and support. I don't want to make light of everything hubby has done, but I think he is comparing this to the nasal surgery he had last year, not realizing it's a completely different recovery. I don't know what I'm going to do about being alone with the kids at night. He will be leaving Sunday and will be back for the weekend and then out again the following week. Normally his traveling doesn't bother me, I've gotten used to it over the years, but now it's going to be a problem. I'm hoping to go back to work next week, which would mean I'm only going to have to take care of her in the evenings, she knows mommy is "sick" but doesn't understand anything else. I guess I'll take it one day at a time.

My teen is making me a snack right now. He pushed a grocery cart all over the store for me. We finally have some decent food in this house. Of course I am still not "cooking" yet. I got a frozen lasagna for dinner. Thanks for the suggestion/reminder. I have great neighbors on both sides. I am sure they would be very helpful if I needed them to be.