Upcoming hysterectomy 12/16 - Emotions- Family Drama

With your hubs, dog and dad... you def got this. And the hystersister community... we have your back. This site was so awesome to me during my recovery. I was so busy up to the date of my operation I didn't have time to worry. But recover you will, and let go of negativity you must. Be well dear, let us know how you progress.

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Originally Posted by lynn.erika Felt the same way my whole life. My sister is my mom's favorite and so is her daughter. I could write a novel on how i have been snubbed. My sister had a hysterectomy and my mom sent a huge boquet of flowers, what did i get? Not a darn thing. All i got was a you'll be fine. It sucks but i have accepted it as my reality because calling my mom out on it does nothing. Enjoy your dad! I miss mine dearly since he passed 5 years ago. Good luck and hope you have a quick recovery! You aren't alone!

Oh God yes...this had been my life since my sister was born. My mom kept texting me telling me how much pain she was in during labor. Like that's not what's supposed to happen. I express my fears about surgery...it's brushed off. I express how she makes me feel and it's brushed off.

My dad is far from perfect but at least he's going to be there for me.

I'm sorry you've had to deal with this too. I wouldn't wish it on anybody. It has destroyed my self worth. Lots of therapy to try and repair the damage.

Big reason I never wanted kids. I don't want to screw someone up this way.

So sorry you're having to deal with this. I know how you feel. My mother has always favored my sister as well and it does really hurt! The one person we should be able to count on most, and can't. Given the nature of your relationship, having her around may hamper your healing journey.

Try to lean on those family members who will be there for you and concentrate on pampering and caring for yourself.

Best wishes to you!

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Originally Posted by maineiac With your hubs, dog and dad... you def got this. And the hystersister community... we have your back. This site was so awesome to me during my recovery. I was so busy up to the date of my operation I didn't have time to worry. But recover you will, and let go of negativity you must. Be well dear, let us know how you progress.

Thank you, dear! Looking forward to getting through it.

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Originally Posted by heavensangel So sorry you're having to deal with this. I know how you feel. My mother has always favored my sister as well and it does really hurt! The one person we should be able to count on most, and can't. Given the nature of your relationship, having her around may hamper your healing journey. Try to lean on those family members who will be there for you and concentrate on pampering and caring for yourself. Best wishes to you!

I agree. I guess I just wished she wanted to be around. She's still at my sister's and the kid is nearly a month old. It definitely hurts to feel like a third wheel in your own family and it trickles down to all other relationships. Hopefully this milestone will just be another step forward into healthy growth and putting myself first for a change.

I also have a similar dynamic in my family. My mother will be there though. She finds a way to minimize my fears several times a day. Today she told me I would be able to shovel snow when I got home from the hospital! I live in a "snow belt" and get 100s of inches of snow each winter.
She insisted on going to my pre-op appointment, although I specifically asked her not to and then tried to make it about her experience 30 years ago. Having her around raises my blood pressure to high levels.

All of this is to say, look on the bright side that your mother won't be there. It'll let you focus on yourself instead of wishing for an ideal relationship and getting clobbered by you mom's issues.

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Originally Posted by msjvs I also have a similar dynamic in my family. My mother will be there though. She finds a way to minimize my fears several times a day. Today she told me I would be able to shovel snow when I got home from the hospital! I live in a "snow belt" and get 100s of inches of snow each winter. She insisted on going to my pre-op appointment, although I specifically asked her not to and then tried to make it about her experience 30 years ago. Having her around raises my blood pressure to high levels. All of this is to say, look on the bright side that your mother won't be there. It'll let you focus on yourself instead of wishing for an ideal relationship and getting clobbered by you mom's issues.

Sorry you're dealing with that. Thank you for giving me some perspective. I went to my pre-op alone and cried half the time. My doctor wasn't very happy with my 3 pages of questions but at least I was informed and organized. Haha

I'll be so happy when this is over.

My mom has favored my sister and caused so much stress I stopped calling her. I haven't seen her or talked to her in years. She does not know I was in the hospital or will be having surgery. My surgery would be her drama. I am glad she won't be involved, she would stress me out.

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Originally Posted by Disneybride My mom has favored my sister and caused so much stress I stopped calling her. I haven't seen her or talked to her in years. She does not know I was in the hospital or will be having surgery. My surgery would be her drama. I am glad she won't be involved, she would stress me out.

I've been there. I've cut my mom and sister both off for periods of time. I'm sorry you're dealing with this too. It is quite painful.

Wishing you a speedy and drama free recovery!!

That's not to say I don't wish she was the kind of mom who gave unconditional love and support. I could use a mom right about now. Good luck with your surgery.