How many days did you need help?

Hi, ladies.

I'm a lady-in-waiting and looking for some organizational tips. How many days did you need help at home after you came home from the hospital? I have 6 year old twins. My Mom is planning to stay with us for three weeks post-op. Do you think that's long enough or do I need to make some other arrangements for help after that? My husband knows he'll have to do laundry, shopping,etc. So I'm not worried about that. I'm having a total adominal. Any suggestions are welcome.

Thanks so much.
Meb

I had my hubby home for 3 weeks, then I had friends come and help half days after that until 6 weeks. Little ones needs are endless and for me the constant getting up and down hurt my stomach.
Good luck!!

I don't have to deal with the child factor, just the dog factor. Anyways, I thought I would have to do the whole thing solo, but my mom came and camped out for a week. I came home on a Wednesday night and sent her home the following Wednesday morning. But truthfully, I could have sent her home a lot sooner, I was more than ready to have my personal space back by Sunday morning, and quite able to take care of myself and my two small dogs. Things would have gone slowly, but I would have managed fine. Also my Dr. only had me on driving restrictions for one week, so that was helpful. Having my mom around actually made me more active and I couldn't really relax/rest like I wanted to, once she went home I could really relax and do what I wanted when I wanted. I didn't realize how stressful it was until she left, it was like I had been holding all the post op stuff in all week and once she was gone it was like WHEW! So I cried for awhile then took care of myself there on out! Dont get me wrong, I love her and loved having her help......except I had a hard time finding things since she rearranged my cupboards!

It really depends on how much physical care the kids need.

I'm single, so I only had to worry about myself. I stayed with friends for the first week after I came 'home', and that worked well for me.
But needing to watch the kids is an extra level of effort, so 3 weeks is probably good.

And it also depends on how well you get along with your mom. Maybe that sounds silly, but only you can say whether having her help will be a pleasure or a strain.

I assume your kids go to school? It will definitely help if you have some hours to yourself, to rest and take care of yourself.

And it's great that your husband realizes he'll need to do the heavy stuff.
Also, you can do a certain amount of preparation by purchasing all the heavy groceries ahead of time -- I stocked up on laundry detergent, bottled water, juice, soda, cans, etc, so once I started shopping for myself I was able to just get a couple of small bags.

I didn't have abdominal so my recovery will probably be a little quicker. My children are young adults so they've been very helpful. I'm 11 days post op and my husband has taken vacation days since I've come home from the Castle. I'm beginning to do things like fold clothes, put dirty dishes in the top rack of the dishwasher, still not lifting anything heavy, pulling or tugging. That's wonderful that you'll have your Mother's help! You'll probably be able to tell by the beginning of the 3rd week if you'll need her longer. Remember to let everyone wait on you. Good Luck! One more thing-Invest in some paper plates. They've been a lifesaver.

You sound like you have prepared well. I had help for about 8 days and my friends took my dogs for the whole time. If your mom is ther to help with the kids and your husband can do the shopping and laundry you should be great. You feel so good that you think you can do things but you will tire quickly. just prepare yoru caregivers that you are not up to entertaining them you will need to sleep alot.

Thanks for all the suggestions/recommendations everyone. After hearing about "not resuming regular activities" for such a long time, I wasn't sure if 3 weeks was enough. But it sounds like that should do the trick.

I kind of forgot about the 75 pound dog! Oops. Luckily we installed a doggy door this summer. She'll just have to entertain herself for a month+ in our fenced yard. No walks around the neighborhood unless she can convince my Mom to walk her (not!) or figure out an escape and reentry route!

Meb

Hi
I also have twins, but mine are 9. May I suggest that you purchase some new videos/games, some new markers, pens & fancy paper, and lots of books. Entrust them to hubby & Mom to dole out as needed to keep kids occupied. It will keep the stress down, which will be important to your recovery. Good luck to you! My surgery is in January!