stress & recovery

I'm sure everybody has stress that surrounds their surgery that is non-hysterectomy related. Our lives are unusually stressful and I'm concerned about how that will effect my surgery and recovery.

One of the biggest concerns is that I watch my 3 grandkids (3 1/2 yr old g-daughter and twin 2 1/2 yr old g-sons) full time. (I include crafts/activities everyday) I'm already exhausted by the time they go home. My son tried to make arrangements with other people/daycare, but that is looking slim.

My husband is a pastor of a small church (tons of internal stress there) and has already made arrangements to take 2 weeks off so he doesn't have to study or prepare for services, but he is also in the midst of taking a rigorous EMT class... will two weeks be enough time for me to be able to care for the g-kids?

Also...with hubby taking this class 2 nights a week and all day Saturdays...how soon were any of you left alone? He is mega worried about that because he simply cannot miss any of his classes.

How much time did your doctor say that you would need for recovery?

Even if you have a LAP surgery with just 5 little incisions you might feel ok after 2 weeks but there is no way you should be picking up grandchildren [no matter how cute they are.] =) It is really important to take the full time to recover because you don't want a set-back in your recovery from doing too much. When I had my surgery, I was cut open. I needed the whole 6 weeks of recovery time. I needed lots of rest. Just thinking about twin's at 2 1/2yrs old--makes me tired now. LOL! I don't know what kind of procedure you are going to have but it seems that you will need more time for recovery then just 2 weeks before watching 3 toddlers.

As far as being left alone, it is possible. It will be important to plan. Make sure that you have easy access to drinks, food, bathroom, meds, and stuff to keep you busy in-between sleeping. I had a claw grabber thingy to help me reach for stuff. I spent loads of time in bed and on the coach for the first couple of weeks. I slept a lot, watch TV, read books, and played on my computer--and I slept A LOT. I also took my mini-walks around the house. With your hubby being a pastor, I am sure there will be people from your church that will want to offer some help. They could stop by a couple of times on Saturday while your hubby is at class. Hopefully you won't need to went up and down stairs at home to answer the door. For the first week of recovery when I came home from the castle and I went upstairs [very slowly] and stay there for the first week. We have a small frig upstairs so I have cold drinks and snacks up there but someone will bring me food. During my second week, I go up/down the stairs just once a day. I had a slow recovery due to complications. My hubby was able to leave me alone and go run errands or step into the office for a little. I was always a phone call away if he needed to check up on me. Hope this helps and good luck Princess Heartsong47!

What kind of surgery are you having? Abdominal? Laparascopy? Vaginal?

With all of them, your doctor should advise no heavy lifting, pushing, or strenuous activities for 6 weeks. No driving for 2 weeks. I had the vaginal - which has the fastest recovery - and I wasn't permitted to resume step aerobics for 6 weeks; I can't imagine running after toddlers after only 2 weeks.

You need to be careful. A coworker at my school had the lap- surgery and returned to work within 3 weeks postop. A student ran into her and popped open some of the stitches, sending her home for another week.

Please ask your church to help you pray for a solution about the babysitting.

As mentioned earlier, you want to stock up ahead of time on easy foods, drinks (I recommend juice or waters), paper plates and cups, plastic ware, stool softeners, ibuprofen, etc. I had a grabber for picking up things like socks, papers, little things that fell down. I didn't need it for long, though.

I started walking around the hospital the day after my surgery, and it helped stimulate the energy I needed to take short frequent walks at home. I needed lots of rest, but not ALL the time. Nurses told me that staying in bed on my back the whole time wasn't good for me: keeps the gas in your tummy, lets fluid accumulate in the lungs, and hinders proper circulation through the body. Walking made me feel better.

As for daily stresses in the meantime, I find it very relaxing to do some kind of physical activity (walking, bike riding, aerobics)for 10-30 minutes and meditate on God at the time with Christian music, prayer, etc. I'm sure you already know that our Father gives us what we need when we ask Him for it.

I can not imagine watching 3 small kids at 2 weeks. You will have restrictions of lifting for at least 6 weeks (that is the normal anyway). You will be very tired & will need to rest. Maybe the church can help your family find a babysitter for 6 weeks? You really need to take care of yourself at this time. You only have one chance to heal correctly so you will want to really take it easy. I wish you the best.

I'm sure there are probably members of the church themselves that would be happy to help with the babysitting. Maybe on a rotating basis? In the churches I've belonged to the congregation would always step up and help other members who needed it. Especially if it was the Pastor's wife.

I guess I should clarify a couple things.

My husband took the 2 weeks off to totally focus on my care, except for the tue/thur night classes and sat. He is making arrangements to have a couple ladies check on me at those times and my son & DIL are only a mile away. After the 2 weeks, hubby will have to manage ministry and grandkids and me.

I get paid to watch the kids through the state and my son couldn't find a "legal" substitute as all the daycares that are "approved" were full. We did find out that my 3 1/2 yr old g-daughter was approved for headstart/preschool and starts on Mon. so she will be gone mon-thur for 4 hours a day.

While I'm sure there will be meals brought in, and I will be checked on, kitchen cleaned, etc by women in the church i have huge doubts anyone will step forward to watch the kids. Our congregation is mostly older and we can't even get volunteers to sit in the nursery long enough to let me and my DIL lead worship with my son on the drums. Son sat in nursery last week. I generally go straight in there after worship to relieve whoever was willing to sit in there and it is pretty chaotic.

The people love and adore the kids, and while they are active, they mind well and aren't "brats"...the women here just aren't capable of watching them much. One gal might offer and could handle it, but she does everything. Any of the people closer to my age (47) are simply not dependable.

I guess that gives you a taste of our ministry stress mixed in everything and this is tip of iceberg.

As far as what kind of surgery, the DR hopes to do a lap-assisted vaginal, but the fibroids are growing so rapid he is unsure if he can do it vaginally. I know I'm looking at 4-6 weeks minimal before i can be "normal" again. As it is now, I'm in regular pain (about a 3-4) and am totally exhausted when the kids leave after 8 hours. I;m not sure what "normal" will feel like. :P

I guess I just needed to hear where others were at after 2 weeks. I worry about my husband's stress level right now. This has thrown a big wrench into the mess of life we are dealing with right now.

ok...enough. sorry this is so long.