Regretting Surgery & Opinion About Lack of Support Here (long, sorry!)

I'm sorry. Keep your chin up and chest out and you will get better very soon. Good Luck and a big hug your way.

Hi Terri! These message boards are kinda new to me. I usually only reply if I feel brave or I think I have something helpful to add. So when another sister says it so much more eloquent than I or has the same advice, I usually don't reply. I am sorry You feel sad. This whole surgery thing is rather isolating. My family is so sweet but still going about their lives. I feel like a couch potato alot of the time. Take care Sister and hang in there! Carolyn

I am one that does not reply to everyone.Sometimes I just want to sit down and read.I do reply to alot of them.I am only 16 days out so I am not alot of help to others.I do get tired and I have a 4&6 year old so I cannot reply to all.There is just to many.Sorry you are feeling left out,no one means to hurt anybody on this board.Good luck.

hi,
i am one week post-op i think my daughter let you know all is ok with surgery b/c you did answer me ,...sorry you haven't heard from people. i did before my surgery but not too much now.healing is a processplease forgive my typing i haven't slept much and will be in touch w/my MD any moment. Am wishing you well, i too am furstrated as i can't rest my legs and arms tingle and i know what everyone means about the night sweats l told my husband the same thing
about was this worth it....patience and prayer will tell
happily my md called and prescrbed me a patch and sleeping pill..viol in seven days i am in menopause
be well and my thanks to you from the beginning..i am not on a lot b/c of sleep issue

pattip

Hi
I have been reading and just want to take the opportunity to share a little tip. Generally netiquette would have us reply to the person who is the original poster of a thread, so if you have a different question or concern it's always best to start a new thread. You can offer support with your experience or just encouraging words to the person you are replying to, but if you have a new question start your own thread with that and the members will hopefully address their comments to you. Sometimes questions get overlooked if they are buried in some else's thread. I hope this will help you all to receive better support in the future.
's, Rita

Terri,,,,sorry you feel ignored,,,I must admit being one of the guilty reading posts and not replying,,just find it hard to put thoughts into words,but my heart goes out to everyone

Terri,

I too am sorry that you feel we have lack of compassion because the amount of viewers don't add comments. I am totally guilty of doing just that. I have to admit I joined 2 weeks before my surgery, before that I signed on as a visitor. I read a lot of threads and didn't feel like I had any positive feedback, experiences or the nerve to put into words that would help comfort the person writing. The replies always seemed to be so insightful, compassionate and truly helpful, I didn't think my words could do any of that. Most of threads that I don't reply on are things I personally haven't experienced. Reading the threads help me educate myself on what to look for in the future. Thank goodness for those, I was prepared for my 4th week being the worst, which it has been the worst by far !

And the replies that I do reply on, I get an e-mail informing me that other replies have been made, so I go on that thread many times. Too bad the statistics given doesn't break down the repeat visitors

Terri-
you were one of the first to reply to my posts after the surgery we had one the same day- I went in on the 13th for the blood transfusion but had the actual surgery on the 14th and I think that I have replied to your posts and seen that you are very good at watching other posts and responding to them. I didn't join the site until after surgery but I am so sorry that you feel that way about this site, I found a great deal of help from the site as I have no one that has been through this in my circle of friends and it made me not feel so alone in this. You are a very good and friendly person and Ihope that you will email me if you need to chat I am also up and down at strange times during the day and night and I have you marked as a friend in my address book..keep in touch and we can work through this together if need be. I hope that you feel better and will email back.
i mean this in all sincerity.

Here Here

	Quote:
Originally Posted by dlpw3zk Just so you know.. Now as for replying to each person who is posting, there are some of us who have very little time to sit at the computer and read, much less post. I am one of them. I have to choose something to respond to and let the others go. I wish I could reply to EVERY sister who needs support, but it just isn't possible. I am willing to bet that there are so many moderators for that same reason. P.S. I also wanted to mention that the thread starter is who I read and respond to. I don't generally hyjack a thread by responding to an issue of another sister within the thread. If someone says something in a thread which needs support but is not the thread starter, I will PM her and offer support.

I totally agree with the comments made by the quoted poster. I also found wanted to add that no one should feel guilted into responding to something. We are all here going thru the same things, and some days are easier than others. For me, I have Lupus, IC, and several other conditions that render me totally disabled. It is very painful for me to sit at the computer for extended periods of time. So, I dont waste my time there posting "hugs" and "hope you feel better" to people. I try to save my energy for the times I truly have some unique nugget of information to help the poster. I dont and wont feel obligated to respond to everyone. I am also a member of several other sites, and a moderator on 2 other sites. So, I just dont have the time to respond to everything.

Yes, this is a support group, but it is not meant to take the place of human interaction. It is meant to supplement other sources of support, not to take the place of them. If you dont feel like you are getting all the support you need online, it is time to seek extra support from friends and loved ones.

I see nothing wrong with giving posters links to other posts that could be beneficial to them. People get tired of answering the same questions day in and day out. It is crazy and and places an unnecessary burden on people, when the question has already been answered elsewhere.

We all do have lives outside of the internet. And the "30 seconds" you might think it takes to respond to a post is inaccurate for me. It takes me several minutes just to compose my thoughts, and then several more to type them. If I did this for everyone, I would spend all day online, on this site alone, not to mention at the other online support groups I frequent!

I guess what I am trying to say is that I think you are just expecting too much from people. And it saddens me to read others posting to you, apologizing for being too busy or ill themselves to post a reply to you or someone else. The do not owe that to you or anyone else, but obviously, some now feel that they owe you, or they wouldnt be apologizing. That makes me sad.

No one is entitled to anything, here or anywhere else. If you get a reply, that is great. If you dont, you can always do searches to see if anyone else got a reply on the same subject. Also, you can always pm someone else who wrote on the subject to ask for advice. But, I find it semi-offensive that people now feel guilty and apologetic for not being able to reply to you or others. ]

Okay, now I am done with that part. I just had to get that off my chest. So, on to the other things!

As for your concerns about whether or not you made a mistake having your hysterectomy, I really think it is too early to tell yet. You are still experiancing post-op pain, and sensations. It will be hard for you tell whether it was a good decison or not until about 6 mo post op. I am at 7 mo post op now, and am only recently starting to no longer think about it daily. With time, I believe you will get there too! Just hang in there and give it some more time! Sincerely, Amy