Purple lump

I had a blood draw today at the doctor's office. They do a pregnancy test, I told them to notify the Pope immediately if it comes back positive.

I've got a purple knot where they drew it. Very ugly but not painful. I'm a little surprised though, I've been told I have good veins. I don't think it will be a problem for the IV Thursday.

I'm getting nervous at work. I think a big part of it is that I'm letting the woman I'm training sit at my desk while I sit at someone elses. She needs to get experience with the primary system and since the two people who are off sick didn't leave their passwords as they were directed, she can't get on their computers. I can get on the secondary system, which is slow and awkward, if I sit at one of the sickee's desks and sign on remotely with my password, but I want to sit at my desk, darn it!

Doesn't help that my daughter is being a real b**** and ticked me off tonight. She was upset that I called Saturday evening to see if everything was allright because she didn't come over and do her laundry that morning like she said she was going to.

Someone at work today told me I was lucky to be having a hysterectomy and I told her she was nuts. I can't see why anyone in their right mind would want surgery. I can see them wanting the end result, but not the way to get there.

I'm starting to freak out a little here.

I am sorry you are starting to freak. It is normal to start being tense. We have a lot to do to get things ready before we go to the castle. You will feel better once you get the work thing taken care of. I had to find a sub for my position and then I left her with a list a mile long before I left.

Try to take some time for you before your surgery if you can, it can do wonders on the nerves.

I absoultely agree there is nothing lucky about having surgery. I guess they are thinking about maybe a person being relieved of their painful problem.

Good luck and I will be praying for peace for you as you wait for your day.

s

Just responding to part of your post. When I told my younger sister that I was going to have the hysterectomy, she said, Why do you get the be the first one to have it? Now I know she's struggled with fibroids and such, but it kind of totally invalidated my pain and discomfort. I've gotten over it for the most part, but at the time, I was honkerblonked. I've have other people say, Aren't you lucky!

People can be weird!
Jean

Oh MAM, you and I have the same castle date and I am right there with you sister. I thought I was doing ok until the nerves started getting a little raw and on the surface last weekend. I had been reading the other posts and wondering when it was going to hit me. Boy, did it ever! Not only am I a raw nerve, on the other extreme, I find it funny in a sick sort of way. I am also taking on great projects in a manic sort of way that would make no sense if I hadn't read earlier posts of princesses before us.

After realizing how raw I was emotionally, I chose to hise in my house for a day and then cautiously chose to seek out those that I knew would support me. That even means I am not even talking to my mother who has not been very supportive. In reading posts here and talking to friends nearby, I have found an amazing amount of support. I think talking about my fears have made it more understandable to other people.

Of course I have gotten line of how lucky I am to be having this and at first I was a little put out at their idea of luck. I know this won't be a picnic, but I am able to realize that I am lucky. Once we are on the other side, we won't hurt anymore, our children or dh won't want to go away for a few days during that time of the month, I will be able to have a normal sex life for once in my life. I adore my dh and am amazed at how he has stood by me through all of this. I can be a royal pain and I would have wanted to get away from me if I had the choice. Instead he has taken care of the kids when the migraine kicks in and he has done the laundry when my periods are so heavy that I soil the sheets. I don't know how many women that aren't going through this would understand the giving nature of their dh's. I am truly blessed.

I also realize how much my neighborhood cares about me. People move in and out frequently and it's easy to stay detached. Neighbors stop me now to ask when my castle date is and what they can do to help. I have taken this as a genuine offer and have asked them to come sit with me and watch a movie or just talk. Of course I have mentioned taking my kids for a while would be great too. I even had my hairdresser call me for a color before my castle date so that my hair wouldn't react later when trying to color it. I have even asked friends that I would like to get to know better to send their dh's over to occupy my dh so he doesn't feel left out.

MAM, I live in San Diego and have seen the outpouring of help and support after the recent fires here. It really inspired me to ask for a little help too without fearing rejection. I really believe that people want to help, they just don't know how. I am sure your co-workers have seen you at your not-so-greatest and know that you wouldn't be jumping into this carelessly. I also believe that their comments aren't meant to minimize any anxiety you may be feeling, they just don't know what else to say. I really believe people want to be good and want to help, they just don't know how.

We will go to the castle together and return stronger healthier and with a clearer mind. The recovery will take its time but in the end it will be worth it. I have read your posts and know that you will come out on the other side ready and willing to help those still waiting for their castle date.

Warmest wishes,
Debbie