Surgery date: June 23rd

This is my first time posting even though I have been following the advice and good thoughts from many of you. I want to say thank you to everyone that posts and provides soothing thoughts as well as honest statements.

I am having surgery on Thursday...Oh my! I am normally a very calm and collected individual, but I am starting to lose it. I am nervous as is expected, but I literally feel like I don't have enough time in the day to get things accomplished prior to my surgery date. And on top of it all, my hubby is being so inconsiderate. He's normally so supportive and caring and now I have to keep reminding him that I need help preparing before the big day. Oh well

To top things off, I called today to retrieve my paperwork from the doc's office since I have turn it in to my employer by Wednesday - and they seem to have "misplaced" it. I almost fell over! I'm sure I'm not the only one that this has happened to, but it sure feels like it just about now. I'm so dissapointed right now and I'm hoping things start looking up since I only have 2 days left to prepare.

Thank you for allowing me to vent.

Hey Maria

I'm sure things will turn around for you. As for your normally supportive husband, most men don't handle fear very well. I'm sure he's just scared and trying to be supportive by not showing you his fear and now there's just tension.... it makes for a very calm and peaceful pre-surgery atmosphere. My 6'3" 250lb police sniper husband broke down and cried like a baby in my doctors arms when he was told after my scope 3 weeks ago that I had to have a TAH (this Friday). Being scared is not something men are trained to handle. God bless, and what does not get done surgery--will it be the end of the world? This is the montra I keep repeating in my head to keep from losing it! Is somebody going to die if this does not get done(?) or will someone else be forced to pick up the slack if they want it done? If it's the latter I'm going to let it slide (like I have a choice) AND I'm not going to feel guilty over it either! Try it!

I agree with the above post that your husband is probably just not handling his fears in the way you would like, he probably is afraid to scare you more too if he voices it, being a male, you likely woun't be confronted with this though. The day of my surgery I'm not sure who cried more, actually I guess I got to sleep through the most stressful part. Afterwards though my DB was a God send! He helped soooo much in the hospital, I couldn't even push the button on my bed to sit myself up so he not only did that but removed my oxygen mask, held up my water for me to drink, tried to feed me my pudding, (though without that mask I couldn't breathe!) and then when I was done he'd put everything back the way it was, this was not because of the surgery itself but from a pre-existing heart problem (don't want to scare you while I'm trying to comfort)
The fears, I had all the anxiety, especially being a single mom, but all went sooo unbelievably well, I stopped them from giving me the pain meds that same night, though my surgeon pleaded with me in the morning to at least take some motrin! I would do it again in a heart beat!!


age 22 LAVH mar 30/05

Maria,
I'm thrilled that you posted. I too am having my big day on Thursday. I don't have enough hours in the rest of the days to accomplish everything I want to do. I keep telling myself there is always after the surgery to do plenty of things. I know that is not possible. I agree! Whatever doesn't get done will have to be done by someone else or wait until I'm able again. No one's world is going to fall apart. My favorite saying is Everything will be just fine. And it always is. My worrying didn't do me a bit of good. I wil be thinking of you on our big day. I told my dh to go fishing after I'm out of recovery. All I want to do is sleep anyway.

Thinking of you,
Ronda

Maria, don't worry too much about anything.. the last thing you want to be is stressed. Just take everyday as you always have been. My TAH was last Thursday and I was nervous too but kept on taking each day as it happened and went to see a movie the night before the surgery. That really had me distracted and when we came home, went to bed and slept well.

As for your DH, like other sisters said, he's probably very nervous and doesn't know how to express it. Think about, his DW is having a major surgery in a few days and he wants some assurance everything will be fine. My DH didn't talk about it much but the morning we were leaving for the castle, he said he was getting a little nervous himself and then it was my turn to comfort him. Think positive because all will be fine at the end. If any chores don't get done, leave them be because they will be there when you get better. D

Best of luck to you!

Laika

I was so nervous pre-op and not very well informed. A friend who'd had the same op told me to plan on 2 weeks in the hospital. So I went as far as planning what my daughter would wear and eat everyday for the next 3 just in case, I ended up being in only 2 nights, and the people taking care of her, knew perfectly well how to dress and feed her,it's hard to let go of the "no one else can do my job the way I do", but everything got done, and nothing fell apart. There's a song by Alabama that I pretty well live by now, it goes "I'm in a hurry to get things done I rush and rush until life's no fun, all I really gotta do is live and die, but I'm in a hurry and don't know why!"

Best Wishes!!!

Heather - 22 LAVH Mar 30/05

My surgery is on the 23rd also. And I too am having a major problem with being scared and anxious. Even feeling kinda nauseous and can't seem to settle myself down. Have my pre-op today at 2:00. Maybe he'll give me something for the nerves. I expect to be even more wound up tomorrow. But..... once it's all over, we'll all feel SOOOOOO much better! I guess that's just what we have to keep in mind. And our cleaning can wait. Time for us now..... Best wishes to everyone on the 23rd! I'll be thinking about you all as I try to count backward from 100........

s to all who've helped us LIW get through this. All your advice has been so helpful and inspirational. Can't wait to join you!

Hi Ladies In Waiting, Your day is almost here. Best of luck to each and every one of you. Don't worry about a thing because what you can't get done before isn't going anywhere. Also, I agree with the other ladies when they say husbands don't handle fear well. My suggestion is to talk openly with him about your fears and maybe that might help him disclose his to you. After its all over and your wearing the princess crown I'm sure he'll be back in the game 100% Take care and stay well! Melanie

THANK YOU! Yes, I hope you all heard that loud & clear...because I truly mean it. It's amazing what impact your input had on me today. I feel like I have to remind myself to breathe - but some of your quotes and motto's really are inspiring

I'll keep you all in my prayers and remember you as I go under.

Luv & Hugs to you all.