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Need to VENT and ask: Why are some people so dense? Need to VENT and ask: Why are some people so dense?

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Unread 05-30-2011, 01:46 PM
Need to VENT and ask: Why are some people so dense?

Hi to all my sisters on the pre op and the post op side. Well this coming Thursday is the big day for me, and it has finally hit me in regards to the anxiety and being upset. Not so much in related to the surgery--you gals have been very comforting in sharing your feelings and stories--thank goodness for this site! Yes, I will admit I am very scared in regards to the anesthesia and the fear of "not waking up" part, but I am dealing pretty well with that.

What has a bee in my bonnet however is the utter frustration I have with some people in regards to this surgery. With my DH, I own a wood fired pizza restaurant located on our farm. We are a small operation open three days a week only, with one sitting. It is a GREAT business and I certainly enjoy working it, and working very hard. I work the kitchen prep, baking duties, employee duties, and all the very essential "behind the scenes" duties. DH works the public affairs, and cooking in the wood fired pizza and is very visible to public eye.

I have been training a young lady to take over most of my duties during my convalescence, and my doctor has assured me that it is okay that in a couple of weeks to SITTING IN A CHAIR and supervise for a few hours is okay--and let everyone do the the work that they have been hired to do. And I am good with that too.

This Thursday for obvious reasons we are closed. Friday our business will be open, with my DS and other trained employees running the show. This is the first time that DH or myself will not be there.

Well this is the problem-before I knew that I was going to be scheduled for a hysto, our neighbors had made a reservation for their church group to come and dine with us on June 3rd. There was going to be about 40 people she said. My DH and I talked and thought that it might be okay that this is one group and it is small. Because we serve by reservation only I have the ability to plan and have most things prepared for the evening for a SET NUMBER.

Sooo...simple enough...until this morning when said neighbor called and informed us that there will be 60 people!!!! I have been very even keel until this point--for crying jags and occasional outburst here and there, but I come to this site for comfort--but this morning I blew sky high.

One-- because this woman "assumed" that we would have enough for 20 more people(I have already prepped and frozen the ingredients for 40) Plus I wouldn't want my young folks to be too overwhelmed while we are there. And, I want my DH to focus on me NOT the business. Not right now anyway!!!

Two--when she was talking to my DH about this, I heard her say "Don't know what the big deal is, she will be "Resting in Peace" "

Three-this is the same neighbor who owns a small house, and whose college age son was coming home for a few weeks and needed a place to stay--my Adult children are gone and living on their own and why would I want company of any kind in the time leading up to my surgery?

Well I blew up and had the obligatory melt down today !!!!

One-told my DH and business partner that I was not going to "back track" and spend the last of my precious time before surgery working.

Two-neighbor meant to say "Peacefully Resting" but anything related to the alternative---well you gals know!

Three-Two weeks ago I told her that her son could not come stay with us. I wanted to have play time with my DH and sit on my back porch naked if I want (we live in the middle of 100 acres so no problem ) She didn't want him in her house either, so they are building an apartment out back.

So, now my mind is pretty messed up by ONE person! I know I need to LET go and know that it will be alright, but this one person has really thrown me for a loop--I am really upset!

Thanks sisters for letting me vent!
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Unread 05-30-2011, 02:05 PM
Re: Need to VENT and ask: Why are some people so dense?

My guess would say this woman wouldn't really get it even if you weren't having surgery that adding 20 to a reservation less than a week out is rude. She seems like a person who doesn't plan well and doesn't understand when others do plan. You are very right that this time is about you. You are not selfish for taking the time to enjoy yourself. Try not to let her get to you, but I know thats easier said than done.
Unread 05-30-2011, 02:24 PM
Re: Need to VENT and ask: Why are some people so dense?

Wow, I am really sorry to hear you have to go through all of this during an already emotional time in your life. I hope everything works out. You take care of your self and best wishes for Thursday, sending you positive vibes and fast recovery!
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Unread 05-30-2011, 02:37 PM
Re: Need to VENT and ask: Why are some people so dense?

Sorry to hear that Jadegrrl, "dense" is putting it gently! Stay firm - you've made ample arrangements for your recovery and shouldn't be pressured to accomodate other's inability to plan. I wish you all the best and will be thinking of you on Thursday.

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