HysterSisters.com is a massive online community with over 475,000 members and over 5 million posts.
Our community is filled with women who have been through the
Hysterectomy experience providing both advice and support from our active members and moderators.
HysterSisters.com is located at 111 Peter St, Toronto, Canada, M5V2H1 and is part of the VerticalScope network of websites.
With free registration, you can ask and answer questions in our HYSTERECTOMY forum community, get our FREE BOOKLET, access Hysterectomy Checkpoints and more.
You are not alone. The HysterSisters are here for you. Join us today!
|
|
Need to vent
|
09-28-2008, 10:30 PM
|
HysterSister
|
|
Posts: 33
Hysterectomy: August 15th, 2008
Ovaries: Undecided
|
|
Need to vent
Hi, all -
I can't sleep tonight. I seem to be recovering well physically but the emotions are hitting hard now. We couldn't have kids and that has been very hard for my husband and I.
I just found out that 3 days before my hysterectomy my sis-in-law called and told my husband she is expecting her 5th child. She vented about how unexpected this is and how stressed out she is about it. He wisely waited till now to tell me about it. But I am so furious that she would do that to him at that point in time. Couldn't she wait a few more weeks until the stress of surgery was over?! We are grieving the absolute loss of our own ability to even try to have kids. Her venting was emotionally devastating to him and he had to carry it all alone for the past several weeks. I am simply furious that she was so inconsiderate. My husband's whole family seems completely oblivious to the pain of infertitility.
Plus, I'm having a pretty good pity party about why does she get 5 kids and we couldn't have even one?
I could sure use your prayers. My heart is breaking all over again.
Cindy
LSH - adenomyosis, endometriosis
|
Sponsored Links
|
Advertisement
|
|
|
09-28-2008, 11:52 PM
|
Guest
|
|
Posts: 133
Hysterectomy: June 9th, 1989
Surgery Type: TVH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
|
|
Need to vent
I am so sorry to hear about your trials with family and the fact that you are dealing with your loss of fertility. Some people have no respect for the emotions of others or only think of themselves. You go ahead and have your pity party. You deserve it.
One bit of advice I learned the hard way. Do not let anyone rule your emotions. Sounds like family is just not understanding and compassionate. You pamper yourself and forget about them right now.
I will say a prayer for you, Cindekae! Hang in there!
|
|
09-29-2008, 12:30 AM
|
HysterSister
|
|
Posts: 976
Hysterectomy: May 20th, 2008
Surgery Type: TAH
Ovaries: Removed both
|
|
Need to vent
Some people just do not seem to think!
All the best, it's understandable why you are annoyed, it was downright inconsiderate of her to do that.
|
Sponsored Links
|
Advertisement
|
|
|
09-29-2008, 03:27 AM
|
HysterSister
|
|
Posts: 355
Hysterectomy: September 8th, 2008
Surgery Type: SAH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
|
|
Need to vent
Hi,
I so feel for you. My husband and I were similarly unable to have children and now are past the ages where we could, even if I hadn't had surgery.
Some people are just thoughtless stinkers. It's a fact. You have every right to vent (so long as you take care of yourself at the same time).
I wish I could send some words of wisdom but the truth is there is a lot of unfairness in this world. What is in our control is to be good to each other which apparently is a message your sister-in-law never got (or is choosing to ignore).
Big
|
|
09-29-2008, 04:13 AM
|
HysterSister
|
|
Posts: 104
Hysterectomy: August 14th, 2008
Surgery Type: TAH
Ovaries: Removed both
|
|
Need to vent
Wow! I don't blame you for being upset! People can be morons, but you expect better from family. Sounds like it's time to repeat the Serenity Prayer about twelve times. You'll never be able to change your sister-in-law, who sounds like an insensitive idiot, but you can't go on feeling this way and being unable to sleep, either.
I have been blessed with two kids, so I can only imagine your pain. On the other hand, I suffered from Cushings disease for many years and nearly died, and when I started getting over the Cushings, I got cancer. I look at healthy people and think, do they have any idea how lucky they are? After my surgery, my mother called me repeatedly to complain about... having to get up in the middle of the night to pee. Wow, must be hard, right?
My son had many health issues as a child. He had a wonderful doctor who once said to me, "You are asking me questions God cannot answer." I don't understand why your ability to have kids was taken from you, but I am sure you will find a way to have a fulfilling life.
There is also another expression that goes something like "God does not give us what we want, but what we need." I hope tonight you get what you need.
You have many friends here. Good luck.
|
|
09-29-2008, 04:37 AM
|
|
HysterSister
|
|
Posts: 4,241
Hysterectomy: June 18th, 2008
Surgery Type: SAH
Ovaries: Removed both
|
|
Need to vent
Some people actually beleive "everything" is all about them. They are selfish and don't use the brains God gave them. Those people are not worth your time or energy. I know she is your SIL, and your relationship will probably not be the same again. And when your stronger, physically and emotionally, let her know.
|
|
09-29-2008, 06:59 AM
|
|
HysterSister
|
|
Posts: 176
Hysterectomy: September 15th, 2008
Surgery Type: TVH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
|
|
Need to vent
Hello cindekae,
I just wanted to send you some hugs....
|
|
09-29-2008, 07:42 AM
|
HysterSister
|
|
Posts: 33
Hysterectomy: August 15th, 2008
Ovaries: Undecided
|
|
Need to vent
Thank you all so much for your kind words and support! I finally did manage to get some sleep but it was a short night. I wish I could say I felt better this morning, but I'm still pretty bummed about the whole thing. I know it will get better with time. And it helps so much to know that there are people in this world who understand and can empathize. (There just aren't any in my husband's family. How he turned out so well, I'll never know :-)
Thanks again! Your kind words are buoying up my spirit!
Cindy
|
|
09-29-2008, 01:48 PM
|
Guest
|
|
Posts: 41
Hysterectomy: September 3rd, 2008
|
|
Need to vent
The week before my hyst, I went to a baby shower for a very good friend (who said she would NEVER have kids!). I bawled the whole way home!
A couple of things that make me feel better. First, you can never change how people act - only how you react to them. Second, we can have kids. We just can't get pregnant. For my DH and I, a surrogate is one possibility. Another is adopting. Any chance of either of those for you?
Try to remember, it's time for you to stay focused on yourself right now!! Feel better - there are lots of us out here in the same boat!
|
|
Similar Threads
|
From This Forum |
From Other Forums |
10 Replies, Last Reply 11-19-2006, Started By sweety644 5 Replies, Last Reply 10-29-2006, Started By buffyoone 7 Replies, Last Reply 10-13-2006, Started By Dook 38 Replies, Last Reply 10-07-2006, Started By BundleOfNerves 5 Replies, Last Reply 10-03-2006, Started By sissy1 7 Replies, Last Reply 10-30-2004, Started By minders 2 Replies, Last Reply 07-29-2004, Started By katm 9 Replies, Last Reply 07-14-2004, Started By donnateach 7 Replies, Last Reply 07-01-2004, Started By dee53 7 Replies, Last Reply 04-15-2004, Started By littlesexxy66 |
25 Replies, Preparing for Hysterectomy (pre hysterectomy) 2 Replies, Separate Surgeries 8 Replies, Pelvic Floor and Bladder Issues 8 Replies, Preparing for Hysterectomy (pre hysterectomy) 21 Replies, Pelvic Floor and Bladder Issues 10 Replies, Preparing for Hysterectomy (pre hysterectomy) 21 Replies, Preparing for Hysterectomy (pre hysterectomy) 10 Replies, The Road Less Traveled 3 Replies, The Road Less Traveled 9 Replies, The Road Less Traveled |
|
Advertisement
Hysterectomy News
TODAY'S EVENTS
Calendar -
Hysterectomies -
Birthdays
Request Information
I am a HysterSister
Your Hysterectomy Date
$vbulletin->featuredvideos is not an array!
Advertisement
Advertisement
|