date scheduled ~ scared!

I am having a total hysterectomy on September 29th. I am keeping my O's and my cervix. My biggest fear is that I will die. I don't know why I have this feeling but I do. I can't even think of what I will need to take to the hospital and such. All I think about is that I will not be here anymore to take care of my kids. Is this normal?
~~~
41/f. tumors

I thought I was the only one who thought that! I got scared but do try to be reasonable too. Just remember that medical advances have come so far and it is really safe, you will be in good hands. What I did to help me deal with these thoughts was write. I wrote things for people to read, should it happen and I felt much better knowing that I wasn't just leaving everyone behind suddenly. My hubby thought I was completely mad but it helped me and made me more rational again, then I started going mad cleaning the house, even the inside of drawers etc
So no, you are not wrong, there is no right and wrong way to feel. Everyone deals with life in different ways

Hi Princess,
I had a TAH with removal of ovaries, cervix and fallopian tubes on 5 August. I had a large fibroid which was pressing on my bladder and causing problems.
I understand what you mean about being scared. I was terrified. I had put off the surgery for a long time because of my fear, but in the end I knew it had to be done. I can honestly say I don't think I've been as scared of anything in my life. A couple of girls I work with who have had hysteries as well told me I had nothing to worry about and in the end it would be the best thing I've ever done. But still my fear wouldn't go away. I kept inventing new things in my mind that could go wrong.
But I am here to tell you, I had nothing to be afraid of. The surgery went so well, and it was all over before I knew it. All I can remember is being wheeled into pre op and the next thing was waking up in recovery and it was all over.
I had the same fears as you. It is normal to be afraid. But please don't worry because honestly there is nothing to be afraid of.

I have started to clean everything also, thinking that if I die I don't want my family to have to clean everything afterwards. I already told my family that if I die that I want to be creamated. No open casket, I hate ppl staring at me! And all that waste on a fancy casket! Just spread me out over the beach or mountains! I have high blood pressure so right now I am scared I will have a heart attack during surgery!! My mind is going bonkers!! I just want this to be over with so I can get strong again!!! Soul and Body!

I am having the same feelings. I am 29 and have two small children. I sit and plan out in my head what I need to tell my DH so he will know where my Life Insurance policy is, what kind of child care he will need because of his crazy hours etc. I hope it is normal

	Quote:
Originally posted by princessmean1 I have started to clean everything also,

So did I! I thoroughly cleaned the house the day before surgery. My mind was so muddled that I honestly thought if anything happens to me at least everyone will say what a beautiful home I have! I laugh at that now, but at the time I was serious!

I got myself so scared that everytime someone tried to speak to me about the surgery I'd start to cry. I couldn't stop the tears, they'd just keep falling and I'd feel so stupid.
But I realise now that most of it is "fear of the unknown". Because I really didn't know what to expect I was terrified of what might happen.
Now it's all over I realise there was nothing to be afraid of at all.

I am going in tomorrow and I know what you mean about being scared a few weeks ago I was a complete mess, I really couldnt function, however after spending a couple of days on this site, i felt very much better, there is always someone who has been that way before and even if you dont post much you can usually read all the answers. I Am slightly anxious today, only hours to go now but nothing compare to the fear I felt before I found this site.

General big thank you to every one

Princessmean1,

Hon, I had the same thoughts, but I know that our Lord is in complete control of every situation...He even brought you to this site to recieve the support you need. I pray for His peace to surround you....Just know that He loves you and He's looking out for you.

Big hugs, luv & prayers,

Mich

Hi ladies-
I had the same fears as all of you. Thet're normal. I got over being scared of the surgery, but I was terrified of being put to sleep. I thought for sure I wouldn't wake up. I kept thinking about my kids with no mommy. I made myself sick worrying about it. And 2 weeks later, here I am.

You will all be just fine. The anestesiaologists and drs know what they're doing. And everything happens for a reason. God has a reason and a plan for everyone. Try to relax and leave it to God. I know, it's easier said than done, but if you keep worrying you'll make things a lot worse.

Mich- did you sleep?! Good luck today, I'll be praying for you!

Blessings-
Amber

Yes Amber...a grab a couple of winks...I'll get more later today.... Thanks hon for the prayers....I know that I have tons of people praying for me today....that brings peace to my heart.


luv,hugs & prayers sister,

Mich