Do you ever get tired of

Do any of you ever get tired of feeling like people think you couldn't have possibly made the decision to have a hysterectomy on your own, and that if you did you must not have researched all your options? Just curious, I've gotten this feeling a lot since I've been letting people know I'm having surgery.
Thanks,
Loriann

Same here; people think that either I'm very rash or that the Dr. pushed me into it. I figure 10 years of pain, various pills and shots and other alternatives, and I've done all I need to. If you've satisfied yourself, don;t worry about them. (Easy to say, but I'm also having the problem of not doubting myself...)

Just my humble opinion: don't listen
to what people tell you.
Only you *know* what is really better for you!
Good luck!

Marili

Hi Loriann! I've just started to tell people, didn't before because I feared their reactions. My Mom said "must you?", my one co-worker said "why?" I explained, in brief, some of what I was going through and there was a look of disbelief and comments like "well, you didn't say anything [about the pain]". I think we just "grin and bear it" and people don't really realize the extent that we suffer, so they are surprised and think we are off our nut. I try to think of it this way: nobody knows what you're going through but you (we sisters have a darn good idea, tho)and there is just no sense in trying to explain it, even if you sometimes feel like getting graphic about it. Remember tho, some people honestly care and want to know ie my Mom. When they get on to you with those questions, just calmly and quietly look at them and say: Just walk a mile in my shoes.......

Thank you girls! You guys seem to know exactly what I'm talking about. I think a lot of the girls at work knew how much pain I could be in especially since I had a cyst rupture while I was working. I hadn't talked to my sister too much about it, so she had a big reaction to it. I just don't have a really close relationship with my sister so it didn't occur to me to tell her that I was in pain all the time, and I what I was thinking about doing about it.
Thanks
Loriann

Yes, this has really bothered me! I have told people and they have said, "why, are you having problems?" Good grief, they make it feel like I am having an elective plastic surgery or something...like I just woke up one day and thought, hmmm, I think I'll have a hysterectomy!

One of the men I work with said, I didn't know you had problems...I said well, I really don't go around telling everyone about my female issues. Ugh, I wish people would think a little bit before they speak!

Wow, that felt good to get that off my chest! It has made me doubt myself a lot lately, but I guess it's just a normal reaction and people don't know what to say. The thing that irritates me, is that the people that say this stuff to me have never had one! The ladies I've told that have had one all told me that it was the best thing they've ever done!!

Thanks for this thread! I needed to vent! LOL

Hugs,
Crissie

I can tell you people will think what they want prior and after. I have people ask me if I tried everything before I had my surgery. If I was sure it was my only option.

I had 4 laps, 1 laparotomy, I used bcp, depo, lupron, danocrine, and then I even tried herbals.

My doctor asked me why the doctors were trying to reinvent the wheel on me. That's what I tell people then they tend not to ask anything else.

The one thing I can say is that I made the best decision for me. I have my life back.

I was lucky that both my mother and sister had had hysterectomys (for different reasons) so they were very kind and understanding.

The people at work however -

- Are you having problems?
(Yes - and you're the main one!)

- Did you get a second opinion?
(Yes, and a third one too, I even asked the milkman and he said he thought it was a good idea.)

- Are you sure that you need a TAH?
(Uh, yeah, that's what the doctor said. I suppose I could just wait until the fibroid's the size of a house and then just float away into space.)

- Aren't there any alternatives?
(Like what? Voodoo?)

- You're going to need ALL SIX WEEKS OFF?
(No, I'll be glad to come in the day after surgery, I'll just be invisible.)

Thanks for all the replies! If I really think about it, I dont' think I've gotten so many bad responses, or doubting responses, but the ones I've gotten bothered me so much. Its hard enouph to really search yourself, and make a huge decision like that, and than have people doubt your decision making abilities.

Of course the Doctor's can't make me have a hysterectomy, but do I want to be in pain, and constantly afraid I have ovarian cancer, like I am right now, or put a little faith in my Dr. that I'm going to feel a whole better when he takes it all out. I have had to really rely on God's peace to feel good about this decision, and the support of my family. And also, you guys are amazing help too!

Loriann

Aren't some people just downright thick?! Take whatever they say with a big pinch of salt. At one of my laps, one of my managers rang me and said 'I believe you're in hospital tomorrow? What time tomorrow afternoon can we expect you back?...' Yes, it was a woman and yes, she knew it was a lap!