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Friends? Now I know...(Updated)
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08-10-2007, 01:02 PM
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Guest
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Posts: 102
Hysterectomy: July 18th, 2007
Surgery Type: TAH/SAH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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Friends? Now I know...(Updated)
Hi Miss D - you now have a hole in your heart, but it will fill up with others that truly care for you and have a clue (!) what you are going thru! It hurts now, but it is surprising what this surgery teaches us. For me it was compassion. Hang it there, we're here for you! Tami
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08-10-2007, 01:09 PM
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Guest
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Posts: 67
Hysterectomy: August 2nd, 2007
Surgery Type: TVH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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Friends? Now I know...(Updated)
Tammy,
's to you HUGE ONES! I am so happy I found this web page. I know you are right!
Miss
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08-10-2007, 02:55 PM
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Guest
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Posts: 247
Hysterectomy: July 19th, 2007
Surgery Type: TLH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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Friends? Now I know...(Updated)
Hey Miss.
Sorry to hear about your SIL. OUCH. Mine has only called once. Just remember we are ALL here for you regardless. One thing I have learned about this group is that everyone is so compassionate and caring. I don't know what I would do without this site.
Big huge s to you sweetie.
Marla
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08-13-2007, 08:17 PM
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Guest
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Posts: 247
Hysterectomy: July 19th, 2007
Surgery Type: TLH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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Friends? Now I know...(Updated)
So today I get an email from B just to say that although she wishes me no ill will and that she only wants the best for me that we were only meant to be friends for a "season" and she just wanted me to know that. She said when she sees me at group events (we belong to the same adoptive families group and they do group events and MNO) that she wants to hear all about how I am doing.
Ummm...Okay. I've come to the conclusion, along with a few others, that something is going on in her life and she obviously needs to work it out. I found the email odd but maybe her way of trying to smooth things over so that she/I don't feel awkward when we see each other. I would NEVER do or say anything to make her feel uncomfortable or unfriendly in social situations so I am not sure if she was trying to convince ME or herself.
Anyway, just had to get that off my chest. At least now I can relax, I guess, at social functions and not worry about her going on off on me.
Ah well...lessons learned. Move on...right?
On a GOOD note, I got emails today from 2 of my male co-workers checking up on me and asking when I was coming back. Both of them were worried that they hadn't heard from me. I was shocked but again, goes to show you, you don't know who is going to step up until they do.
s
Marla
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08-14-2007, 08:22 AM
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Guest
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Posts: 102
Hysterectomy: July 18th, 2007
Surgery Type: TAH/SAH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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Friends? Now I know...(Updated)
Hey Marla, what she is doing, I think, is transferring it all onto you! Her negativity, I mean. You are better off not getting sucked into that, as you well know. Rise above my dear, you are better than that. As for the males checking up on you, I agree, men other than my DH were much more sympathetic, and telling me I was doing too much too soon. Some have been through this with a wife or partner and actually know a thing or two. One of my brothers even called just to ask if the constipation was any better! I would never had foreseen that one.....
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08-14-2007, 09:54 AM
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Guest
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Posts: 247
Hysterectomy: July 19th, 2007
Surgery Type: TLH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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Friends? Now I know...(Updated)
Hi Knitting,
I hadn't thought about it that way. Thanks for the advice. Thankfully our paths don't cross too often, even at these events, so I'll just keep hanging out with the friends who HAVE been there for me.
That is amazing about your brother!!! One of my BIL did call to check on me and the other one I haven't heard a peep out of. Oh well.
s to you!
Marla
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08-14-2007, 12:34 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 61
Hysterectomy: July 23rd, 2007
Surgery Type: SAH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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great now I have the opposite
Now my MIL is calling every day to ask me how I am doing. Please don't get me wrong, she is a nice lady but before this we hardly heard from DH's parents. They surprised the hell out of both of us by being at the hospital every day and I was at least 45 minutes away. I got used to the silence. I guess the only thing that makes me sad is knowing if her son had surgery she wouldn't have done 1/2 the things for him that she did for me and didnt' think he could take care of me. She gets in little digs that he is used to but po's me off. So sometimes I will contradict them when they make a belittling comment. They have no clue who their son is and never made an attemt to learn either.
She has never had the surgery and doesn't need it either. At this stage I am doing 100% better and the only thing left for me is to rest up to I can go to work. I appreciate her concern but now it is suffocating. So I am willing to lend her out to those who's families act like they don't exist. She has enough for 2 and I am willing to share
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08-14-2007, 01:13 PM
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Guest
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Posts: 247
Hysterectomy: July 19th, 2007
Surgery Type: TLH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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Friends? Now I know...(Updated)
LOL Madame. My MIL called daily for the first week but has since fallen off the face of the earth again. When DH had surgery, she didn't call half as much so I can relate to that. Sounds like your DH and mine are both the so-called black sheep of the family. I hate it.
Glad to hear you are doing so well. I am getting caught up on my scrapbooking and have opened up a long ago received puzzle that I am trying to work on. I'm off for another 3 weeks.
s
Marla
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08-14-2007, 06:35 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 324
Hysterectomy: May 28th, 2007
Surgery Type: TLH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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Friends? Now I know...(Updated)
Hey Marla!
So sorry to hear this. But I definitely re-defined my "friends" and "good friends" list after this op. Some were very surprisingly missing - still are! And others were there that I never expected!
Hugs
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08-14-2007, 06:44 PM
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Guest
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Posts: 679
Hysterectomy: April 26th, 2007
Surgery Type: SAH
Ovaries: Removed both
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Friends? Now I know...(Updated)
We can't change how others act. We can only change how we REact.
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