Scared and angry

Suddenly Wednesday night, things just didn't feel right. I got a mirror and took a look. I was not expecting to see my uterus, but I did. I called my doctor first thing Thursday morning. He is going to be out of town for the next three weeks. I'm seeing another doctor next Friday. I would lose my mind if I had to wait. Since my last period is a distant memory, I have a fairly good idea what he is going to tell me. I've never had major surgery. I never even get sick. The idea of being helpless and dependent angers and disgusts me. I know I'm a control freak. I don't need to be in control of others; I just have to be in control of myself. I don't know how to get through the next week.

	Quote:
Originally Posted by SassySal Suddenly Wednesday night, things just didn't feel right. I got a mirror and took a look. I was not expecting to see my uterus, but I did. I called my doctor first thing Thursday morning. He is going to be out of town for the next three weeks. I'm seeing another doctor next Friday. I would lose my mind if I had to wait. Since my last period is a distant memory, I have a fairly good idea what he is going to tell me. I've never had major surgery. I never even get sick. The idea of being helpless and dependent angers and disgusts me. I know I'm a control freak. I don't need to be in control of others; I just have to be in control of myself. I don't know how to get through the next week.

AWww, hugs to you!

Don't get angry! Do you have someone to help you out? Take the time to let them and focus on getting better.

i'm sorry,please take it easy,i am praying for you,and hope your doc comes back sooner,i hope your not in alot of pain that sounds soar.
my thoughts are with you,i know how you feel about the control thing,i've alway's been able to do it all on my own.if you would like to send me a private message please do.

Sounds like vaginal prolapse - but it sounds also like you already know that. I just got home from the hospital yesterday from hysterectomy due to prolapse so I've been through it and can tell you - even now - that surgery really isn't that bad.

Are you having any other symptoms besides being able to see your uterus? Sexual issues? Bladder/bowel control issues? If so, the surgery may be able to fix them.

There are other alternatives too, besides hysterectomy. Have you tried wearing a pessary? Your doctor can try fitting you with one - it is a little plastic thing usually in the shape of a ring or doughnut that holds you up again.

Good luck and let us know whatever you decide. You do have choices - including doing nothing (which I did for 3 1/2 years) that can be good options for you. You are in charge - don't forget!

Thanks for everyones' good wishes. I know have options, but I can't see putting this off. I would rather go through it at 54 than 64 or 74.

I have no bladder or bowel issues, as for sex - my uterus is in the way. I feel like I have a super tampon that's slipped.

My concerns are:
is this doctor going to want to include me in the decision process? He will or I'll have to find another doctor.
how much I will be able to do in the long run? Never lifting anthing over 20 pounds again is not possible.
will I be given enough pain medication. I don't want pain "managed", I want it eliminated.
the hospital experience - I was in one about 35 years ago for only 48 hours and I didn't feel like I was treated with any human dignity.

Hi Sassysal,
I am no Dr and wont pretend to be one, but if you are suffereing now and most likely in pain think of how your life will be after a hyterectomy. You are only 54 why should your sex life stop, i wont lie to you, there will be pain afterwards and depending on which procedure is decided for you will depend on how much pain and how quickly you recover. I dont think by the sounds of things that there will be a great deal of alternatives for you. If your uterus is alrwady falling out, yo may be alot better off helping it on its way, going through the recovery process and having some normality back in your life.
They are alot better in hospitals these days than what they were back 35 yrs ago.
I had no choice about my surgery i had a TAH due to endometrial cancer.
Sometimes surgery is the key to a new beginning or a life itself.
I believe that no matter which Dr you go to, the choices for you will be very similar, but you are always entitled to as many 2nd opinions as you need. Speak to some ladies on here, go to the post op section and read some of the posts in there. It may help to aleviate some of your fears.
Best of luck to you.....
take care
Michelle

	Quote:
Originally Posted by SassySal I have no bladder or bowel issues, as for sex - my uterus is in the way. I feel like I have a super tampon that's slipped.

I was the same way during sex....it just felt like something in the way. As I'm only a few days post-op I can't tell you how sex is afterward but I will update everyone as soon as I find out.

	Quote:
Originally Posted by SassySal is this doctor going to want to include me in the decision process? He will or I'll have to find another doctor.

Good attitude. I think you will be able to find a doctor who will view you as a part of the team. Mine sure did so I know they exist out there.

	Quote:
Originally Posted by SassySal how much I will be able to do in the long run? Never lifting anthing over 20 pounds again is not possible.

I have limitations on how much I can lift for a couple of weeks but after that it is a free-for-all. Actually I decided to go ahead and have the surgery because I was having trouble lifting things (my uterus was starting to fall out after moving a big closet section) so I think it can only get better.

	Quote:
Originally Posted by SassySal will I be given enough pain medication. I don't want pain "managed", I want it eliminated.

My pain immediately after I woke up from surgery was a little painful but I just kept asking for more meds and they upped my dilaudin (however you spell it - like a morphine drip) and everything felt much, much better. I won't lie to you and tell you that there was absolutely no pain but I can honestly tell you that it was very minimal once they got it right. I was rating my pain on a 1-10 scale at about a 2. No biggie, kind of like menstural cramps.

	Quote:
Originally Posted by SassySal the hospital experience - I was in one about 35 years ago for only 48 hours and I didn't feel like I was treated with any human dignity.

That's too bad. I've heard horror stories about bad hospital experiences and I know that they are out there. But it sounds like you are going to be proactive in your health care and find a doctor and hospital that you know and trust. I've also found that if you treat the nurses really well and keep a good attitude (smile on your face, try not to bother them for the little stuff) they will treat you amazingly well. My nurses were amazing - I would ask for one thing and they would do 5 things for me.

Keep us updated on your hyster journey!

. . .from the posts you've already received, you can get lots of answers even before you talk to a Dr.

Yes, there is some pain associated, but hospitals are all about pain management and the staff will work with you to get it to a comfort level. After the first day, I can honestly say that I've had very little pain. And I agree, hospitals have changed a great deal in 35 years. Not every one is perfect, but they also understand how to deal with patients in a much more collaborative way these days.

I, too, am a complete control freak--I run a company, fly all over the place doing seminars, just finished a second BS degree and I'm 52. So I understand your concerns. But, at some point you have to come to a decision in partnership with your doc, and trust him/her to be the professional in this relationship. Ask questions, do your research, satisfy your need to know and then relax. You need a positive mindset and calm attitude to heal well.

If you have specific questions, please feel free to private message any of us who have been there and back. I'm 3.5 weeks out--have been driving since day 8, have gone to my office for a few hours each day this week and am completely confident that I'll be ready for my next business trip on August 15th.

Each person heals differently, but this is not a life sentence--it is a medically necessary procedure that takes care of a health problem--just as a heart by-pass or setting a broken bone is necessary.

Breathe, read, and channel your surprise and anger into a proactive mode of finding the best answers for your body.
Take care...