Lack of support from people on the topic that a Hysterectomy is MAJOR surgery.

My boyfriend gets it and so do my parents! I know I shouldn't care what others think but right now my boyfriends mother seems to not understand!
I told her I was having it laprascopic and she was like "Well then it will be a fast recovery and not much too it."

I just don't think she gets it. When I told her it was Major surgery, she said "All surgery is major but if he is doing it laprascopic then its no big deal."

I then proceeded to let her know a Hysterectomy is a big deal.

She then changed the topic...

I just feel very agitated right now due to her lack of insensitivity. My boyfriend is coming to the hospital to see me and she doesn't see why he should or what the big deal is?

It's not as if I'm having a mole removed for cosmetic reasons.

Is anybody else finding lack of support from certain people?

Sometimes I feel alone even with the support I do have.

Lisa

She is being passive aggressive...don't worry about it, she has the problem, not you...it sounds like the people that matter are giving it the right amount of support!

My daughter was kind of indifferent. She knew it was necessary but getting the support I needed was maddening when it came to her. She didnt come to the hospital (she had the flu)...but even when she felt better didnt come. I had no support from her when I came home. she lives with me and couldnt be bothered. She felt that just because I didnt need her to do everything for me meant that I didnt need her to help when I needed it.

Just because its laproscopic doesn't mean that there are any less stitches inside...just means they didnt have to make a larger incision. The same things were removed regardless of how its done. There was no way I could have mine laproscopic considering the size of the uterus and one huge fibroid. I feel like unless that person isn't inside your body, they have no clue.

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Originally Posted by eternalflame30 My boyfriend gets it and so do my parents! I know I shouldn't care what others think but right now my boyfriends mother seems to not understand! I told her I was having it laprascopic and she was like "Well then it will be a fast recovery and not much too it." I just don't think she gets it. When I told her it was Major surgery, she said "All surgery is major but if he is doing it laprascopic then its no big deal." I then proceeded to let her know a Hysterectomy is a big deal. She then changed the topic... I just feel very agitated right now due to her lack of insensitivity. My boyfriend is coming to the hospital to see me and she doesn't see why he should or what the big deal is? It's not as if I'm having a mole removed for cosmetic reasons. Is anybody else finding lack of support from certain people? Sometimes I feel alone even with the support I do have. Lisa

Just focus on the people in your life that are being supportive.. she obviously doesn't understand, you are correct, it is a major surgery. no matter what way it is done, there are hundreds of stitches inside your body after... there are going to be people out there that don't understand, you cant change them unfortunately... be happy that you have the support of your bf and parents and just ignore her... sorry you are having to deal with someone like that while you are preparing for surgery..

That's a bummer. You do have the support from your bf and family, concentrate on that. You will soon forget about her lack of concern. Who knows maybe she will come around.

I had support from my bf his mom (she had a hysterectomy years ago), my sister, and other family members. My mom kind of showed lack of concern. She can hide her feelings very well. She did come to visit me in the hospital on day 2, and visit at home a couple of times in the first 2 weeks. Mean while my bf mom texts me twice a day asking how I was (and still does a month later) I felt upset because my bf mom showed more concern then my mom did. My mom has never had any hospital stays or surgery. I do think she now realizes what I went through. My uncle just had a major stomach surgery a month before my surgery. She now sees his recovery and my recovery as something that can be slow, painful, and a long road. My mom is now much more supportive, I just think she didn't realize how serious it is. So hopefully your bf mom will come around.

Good Luck with your surgery, Appreciate the support you have. Relax and heal well.

Thank you all for your comments.

My boyfriend had a heart to heart with her and me being emotional right now just took it out of context and it was a misunderstanding. She meant that the procedure itself wasn't that major as it used to be a long time ago. She still thinks the Hysterectomy in itself is very major. I feel a bit ridiculous.

Thank you

Lisa

Your going through a lot emotionally and its a stressful time. Understandable.

I'm having the opposite problem! My mother and sister in laws are almost refusing to believe I had a hysterectomy, since I was up and about a week out and working full-time at two weeks. They had theirs 10+ years ago (20+ for my mother) and my LSH isn't something they can quite compare it to. I should STILL be in bed according to them! Deflecting the concern for my obvious lack of regard for my health is getting a little annoying. But at least they care.

I get that as well. Hubby gets it, kinda! Sure just jump in the car rest and you'll be fine! Grrrrr. It's major I keep stating. Nope as I may get to go home same day it's minor. I just wish he would and others would realize its major and I'm losing a part of me that has me a wreck. But it's for the best and to be pain free after! I hope and pray

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Originally Posted by eternalflame30 Thank you all for your comments. My boyfriend had a heart to heart with her and me being emotional right now just took it out of context and it was a misunderstanding. She meant that the procedure itself wasn't that major as it used to be a long time ago. She still thinks the Hysterectomy in itself is very major. I feel a bit ridiculous. Thank you Lisa

Wait, What? It's still the same procedure you just don't have the open abdominal incision. I don't think you took anything out of context. I think she meant exactly what she said and I think she confirmed that to your boyfriend.