Concerns and need others experiences

I have been a lurker here for quite a while and finally have decided to come forth. I am supposed to have a TAH/BSO on Monday the 10th. However, that's still up in the air due to hubby changing his mind at the last minute. Here's something I'm concerned about and wanted to see if there was anyone else that had experienced the same concerns. Since my DH is wavering on his support, I am concerned that once they get in there and remove everything, I have this fear that the doc will say that it was all that bad and not really warranted to have it done. And, then, my DH will resent me forever after that. Here is my history, I've had painful periods since day 1. Had my first cyst to rupture at 15. 5 years of infertility to finally be blessed with a child. Still have painful periods, painful sex, heavy bleeding, etc. But, I'm still scared that for some reason they will say that it really wasn't that bad and I must not be able to tolerate pain. I'm just so confused. Has anyone else experienced these same concerns?

Holly

Sunshine, I have mine on the 12 and am thinking the same thing. That they will find it really didn't have to happen, and the pains are not that bad. But then I think, they are bad, I shouldn't have to live like this. I deserve better.. And so do you.

Do what you need, this is all about you.

Hi Sunshine! I hope with the information that you are finding here that it is helping with your decision. This is a dramatic one there is no question. Myself, well it took me a long time to really accept that this is something that I should do. I was only 27 when I had it done and it was a HUGE deal. However in retrospect, I would have done it sooner. I didn't like the fact that this was my option but in the beginning I figured like a lot of women, that they will find a way to fix it, or I can take meds, or whatever and the fact is true for some but not others. This is a very persona choice and I think you will find that most ladies choose to in order to move on with their lives, not be sick anymore and to lead a normal life. It's not fun to hurt or be sick all the time and sometimes the options don't work.

I think your husband like mine, is a little scared himself because this is a big deal, but I am sure he will support you in the end regardless of the outcome. There isn't a true "It shouldn't have happened". If it is being brought up then there is at least a glimpse of a good reason and sometimes that is enough in my opinion!!!

Good luck and take care

Holly,

What would cause your DH to change his mind? With the symptoms you're having, your quality of life must be less than wonderful, at least part of the time. I think if men had to go through what we do (pain and bleeding the least of the problems) there would be an easier solution than hysterectomies. Not men-bashing, but I just don't think they understand, except to tell us how b****y we are when we have PMS.

Since my SAH/BSO (I'm on Vivelle-dot for HRT), my DBF has been thrilled with the results. I don't have the mood swings, the bloating where I was grumbling about not being able to fit into my clothes, the hogging of the bathroom to deal with all the other period problems I had due to adenomyosis. He even told his sister that the HRT must be working because I hadn't taken his head off and I was 7 weeks post op! Sex is even better than before because I don't have the pain and bleeding that it was causing before. That kinda took something out of being intimate, as I'm sure you can imagine. I feel better now than I have in months (although I still get tired more easily...and that's improving weekly).

I'm not saying that everyone's surgery means instant sunshine and roses. There are possible complications...I dealt with a seroma and my incision split in 3 places. It was, to me, a bump in the road to recovery...a pain in the neck, but nothing I was too upset about. Other sisters aren't so lucky and have some real difficulties. But I think you'll find most of us are pleased with the outcome.

You need to sit down with DH and find out why he's wavering. Is he worried about something happening to you during surgery? Or results afterwards? Men can act downright hinky if they're worried about something. My DBF started acting like the class clown and just about drove me nuts until we talked about all the pros and cons of surgery vs no surgery, possible complications of either choice. He finally realized that I just was not willing to go on living with constant pain. Your DH may need reassurance from you (or even your doctor) about the surgery and recovery.

Good luck to you!
s
Cat

I had the same surgery this past July. I feel like a new person. I didn't realize how bad the pains were until I had the surgery and the pain from the surgery wasn't much worse than the pain I had from my periods. I am 38 and wish I had done this 5 years ago. Good luck. Do what is right for you.

I was in misery for almost two years before my surgery. I was a slave of my periods, we could not plans road trips, fishing , beach, white water rafting trips, anything anymore, because I had to be 'near' a bathroom. I pretty have been in everything bathroom in this State! I have been happy all my life, and I was NOT going to have my periods take over my daily life, I tried the tablets treatments etc... for 3 months to make my periods vanish, but it did not work for me. The surgery is a big step forward, a new life ahead, and a long recovery. Your DH should realize that you will be a happier person, he will also be a happier person to see you feel better.
My DH even camped out in the castle room with me for 4 days. HRT for me is a weekly patch, and the secret is to have a good to excellent 'rapport' with you obgyn.
Good luck on monday!
Ikoyi

Oh Sunshine,

I only had the surgery because the Doc found an ovarian mass and I didn't want to mess with cancer. Otherwise I'd have waited till menopause (I just turned 50) and been proud of myself. The Dr. didn't find any cancer (thank you Lord), but did find endo and ando and adhesions, a fibroid, ovarian cysts and enlarged uterus. As soon as I woke up from surgery I knew I had done the right thing....can't explain it but I just felt better. I also had a gallbladder removal at the same time and before the surgery had the same worries if you, if they don't find cancer will it all have been a waste? etc - etc. This feeling like a new person is the last thing I expected but I'm so happy about it. (btw this isn't pain meds talking, I'm not on any). Hope you do as well.

Blessings,
Mary

No one can say how the pains were for you as we all experience pain differently. You or anyone else should have to suffer with painful sex, bleeding, etc.. Love, ((((STITCHER))))

Thank you all so much for your support. You have made me feel at least like I am not so alone in this process. My DH seems to have just decided he doesn't like that this is so final and permanent and that he might want another child down the road. I was more leaning toward the side of giving the child I have the best possible mom that he deserves without being in pain. I didn't want to have anymore surgeries (already had 5 laps for endo) but I guess I'm scared that the doc will tell DH that endo 'wasn't all that bad' and DH will resent me for doing this. I'm just so torn over this whole experience. I want to feel good so badly.

Thanks again for your support. I truly appreciate it!!