Mad at husband, am I being unreasonable?

I had a LAVH Tuesday of this week. My husband decided he wanted to go out tonight with friends at 9:00PM. I really don't usually care but did tonight. The family had been gone most of the day leaving me to watch tv and be lonely longing for some company ALL DAY. So, when he just gets home from an event with the kids and asks if I care I say, yes I am lonely and would rather you stay here with me tonight *I NEVER tell him he "can't do something). He starts texting and sighing, etc. I say, are you going to pout all night and he says well I am not going to pretend that I am not disappointed I really wanted to go. So, I say if you are just going to pout all night just go. So, without a word he gets up and leaves. The reasons I don't want him to go are because he will come home drunk, I will be waiting up for him until 1 or 2 am not able to sleep until I know he is home, he will snore all night further disturbing my sleep, then be dragging tomorrow with a hang over further unable to help with things that need to get done. I didn't tell him all those things because I was trying not to be a B and just let him know I needed him. Should I lighten up or is he being an insensitive jerk? And no, he isn't drinking and driving and his friends are married and I have no problem with any of them and we typically get together as a group.

i dont think that you are being over sensitive(sp?) at all!! you have just had a major surgery and i think he should be there caring for you!!

Your husband could be my husband. I think it is because they are terrified of us--they don't understand what we have just been through, and they are afraid they can't do anything for us. So they take off like 5-year-olds. At least that's my husband. He doesn't say it, but I see the fear in his eyes every time I grunt or grimace LOL.

But being afraid doesn't excuse being insensitive. At least my husband tries to line up some company or entertainmet for me before he ditches me. =( You should tell him what you said on here. He probably just really doesn't get it. Most men don't get it unless you draw them a picture. Hope you get it worked out.

I am sure if he had such an operation he would be completely useless for at least 5 months and want to be waited on hand and foot!

I hope he realises you have just had major surgery and require a little TLC since you will be house bound for a while, you can only watch so much TV. Good luck with hubby I'm sure there's a section on this website for husbands to read (or have read to them) explaining what to expect maybe that would be helpful.

Hi Jessica2010
I know how you feel,I will be 3 weeks pos-op on Monday,I have TAH on March 29th and my DH had been out to our friends house twice already,the first week is hard so you really need him with you, helping you and not giving you more work and worries.but you have to take care of you, I know is not easy specially if you have small kids. Try not to get mad,you have to place yourself in the first place,you need to heal your health is first. hopefully he come home early tonight and then later on tomorrow or Monday you can talk to him and let him know what you are specting from him. well I know they should know better but they are like that.
My DH went there like for 3 hours last night he came by 12 like cindirella, today he stay the whole day cooking breakfast lunch and dinner.
I was felling better the last two days,but today was not a good day for me,i was in pain (not to strong)but very uncomfortable,tired i just wan to be in bed the whole day.
you are not alone,maybe he just need a littler time for himself.
very important;take care,rest,now is your time,is you,you and you ok.
Hope things will be better tomorrow.

I don't think you're being insensitive at all. Do you know where he went? What if something happened and you really needed him so soon after surgery? You didn't say how old your kids are, but you never know when something can come up and you wouldn't be able to take care of it so close to post op nor should you. I think tomorrow I'd have a nice conversation with him and tell him why you really wanted him to stay home. If it were me, I would have let my DH pout and had him stay home. I wouldn't want to lose the sleep or listen to the snoring. Hope everything turns out okay.

You are not insensitive or a B. He is a JERK. Sorry. Take care.

I think you have every right to be upset!! You just had MAJOR surgery!! You needed him with you to help you out!! Not to mention you are feeling down from being house ridden!! I know it hurts your feeling most!! Stay strong you will recover and be back to your old self!!! Maybe you need to explain to him that you are going through alot and just needed him!!! i think men dont understand that it is a MAJOR surgery!!!

Unreasonable? Not at all.

You are still on narcotics. You aren't able to take care of any emergency that might come up with your kids. If you had to do something, you'd probably injure yourself and end up back in the hospital.

He needs to put on his 'big boy panties' and take care of you (and the kids, and the house) for the next few weeks so that you can heal.

Have a nice honest talk with him and if he's still not being reasonable, have a nice honest talk with your MIL!

You are NOT being unreasonable-he is acting very immature. I think you should talk to him about why you needed him home. You weren't being a B at all-you just didn't feel ready to be the adult in charge-you need him to be that for a while. I think he needs to read the Mister Hysters guide. You need his support right now.