bleeding ...anxiety at night

Hi this is the first time I've posted.. I had TAH BSO September 8th... I am either spotting or have blood in my urine now... I'm not sure which... I'm actually not in as much pain now as before the surgery... I was so tired... I'm still tired... and feeling pretty usless... especially at night... I've been lurking on this site since I got home from the hospital on Sunday... today... or rather tonight is the first time I've been able to get myself to actually write... my father came to WY from MN to help out with my kennel while I'm usless... and I can barely stand to be in the same room with him... or my husband for that matter... no they haven't done anything awful... it's me...when the phone rings I just want to smash it... watch the pieces fly across the room... not a good thing ... friends aside... I work from home... or rather nonwork from home... I can't stand to interview my clients ... for puppy placement... or for my online business... I'm so angry... and afraid... there was no choice as to whether to have the surgery or not... it was have it or die... so I had the surgery... I managed to hold it together through the surgery... now I'm a crazy woman at night and asleep during the day... feverish and asleep after a stressed out night... should I still be spotting... should lying on my side make the spotting worse... what about Premarin... I am prone to blood clots so I was thinking about not using it... but if it would help stabilize me...yes I'm rambling... I keep seeing this little red headed girl in my mind's eye... and just loosing it... it was very unlikely that I could have carried a child anyway... the last miscarriage I had nearly bled me out... I saw the heartbeat... then my baby died... I just started bleeding profusley... dr's never said why... maybe this mess was growing in me even then... who knows... mess growing in me is gone now.... along with any chance of a child... on a bright note... I was actually able to pass gas today... painful... but I was able to pass it... yesterday was a gassy bloated nightmare... thanks for listening... M

I was going to say I wouldn't worry about spotting this early on, but if you're spotting AND feverish like you said, you should call or see your doctor.

If the phone is in your bedroom, turn the ringer of that phone off.

If you have that much gas, you probably have constipation. There are a lot of constipation solutions on this site. Personally, I prefer Benefiber. (all natural, tasteless) Make sure you have a couple enemas around; in case it gets severe, you will be glad you did.

You definitely need hormone replacement. If you're afraid of blood clots, why not go natural? Who wants to take Premarin (pregnant mare's urine) anyway. I'm not an expert on natural, but they're less likely to cause severe side effects. You can even get them in the drugstore any more. Worth a try.

Above all, it sound like you need to relax. Maybe a long warm bath (careful not to strain your stomach muscles getting in and out!) and take slow, deep, cleansing breaths. It WILL get better.

Hi morningsun,
I hope this morning finds you sound asleep. You poor thing. It sounds like you are having a bad time of it right now. I hope you'll take heart in knowing and understanding how very early you are in this whole process. Purplesea has some very good suggestions. I agree that if you really are running a temp you should call your dr. It isn't unusual for you to still have some bleeding at this point though. We're all different in that, some have bleeding for weeks and others only for a day or so. Only your dr can say if yours is ok. I hope you will also talk to him about your frustration and emotions. It isn't unusual for you to be struggling having just lost your ovaries and he/she might be able to help you.
When you mention the mess inside are you talking about endo? If so has your dr said no hormones for a while? If this is right then you really should do some reading in the No-Hormone Desert Oasis . There is also a lot of good information in the Hormone Article List . I hope you can find some alternatives to try to help you through this time.
You might want to consider reading and even posting in Aching Hearts . In this forum women deal with the heartache of not being able to have children. I know you would find understanding and compassionate women who would at least share their hugs and their experiences in dealing with this terrible heartbreak.
It would be nice if you could just leave your business to the men for a while. You need to heal now, both physically and emotionally. I hope you can find some answers that will help you soon. We're here for you. I'm so glad you decided to post.

's, Rita

Thank you so much... I did get a bit of sleep... and then took some Premarin...and called the doc's office and visited with the nurse pract. about the bleeding ... I am happy to say the Premarin worked... I am so much more stable emotionally just after a couple of hours... the bleeding has eased off... it seemed to ease off as I calmed down... once I've healed up I may consider foster parenting ... thank you so much ...
M