Friends and Advice

I love my friends. But I have found that telling them about my surgery has contributed to my feelings of craziness. My friends are concerned and ask if I'm sure about going forward with this surgery because it's so final. I understand and appreciate their concern and input. I would probably say the same thing if the roles were reversed and I had not been faced with a hysterectomy. But I think it makes it even scarier to hear my friends second-guessing the operation. It makes me wonder if I will really regret it. And I know the truth is that I won't know until it is done. One of my friends says that I'm over thinking it, and I need to find something else to think about. She's probably right, but finding something else to think about is nearly impossible! I cannot believe how much this has played with my emotions. I would have NEVER expected to be so emotional. Have any of you found that good intentions of friends are stressful during this pre-op time?

Hi Salam

I've found that unless the people that you talk to have had the surgery themselves it very hard to find others to fully understand you. It's natural for us to want to talk to those that we're close to, because of that we expect them to automatically understand. We are nervous and anxious and scared all at the same time and we want to talk to those closest to us. I'd say let them read some of the post and print out the questions for family from the site then they can better understand you. If that doesn't work you have a so many sisters here that understand and ready to offer you the support you need.

Yes, I understand what you're saying. I think that people mean well but don't always think before thay speak. What really matters is if you feel comfortable with your decisions. If you have any reservations at all, maybe you should take a bit more time to think about it. Have you had a second opinion from a dr? If not, maybe you should, that way you can be a little more certain of your decisions.
Being emotional is very normal, it is a major surgery. I think that many of us worry about the possible "what if's ". Staying busy helped get me through the wait, that and learning everything that I could so that I knew what to expect.

Best wishes.

S

You will second guess your decision the minute up to being taken in to surgery. The great part of this is that once it's DONE you will know you've made the best choice of your life!!! REALLY! I agree that only those of us that have been through it really get it. I also think you need to realize that the WAITING is BY FAR the HARDEST part. This time is soooo stressful. I have found that I haven't had anywhere near the same stress post op. Hang in there. Give yourself permsion to feel a little crazy. Get your "nest" ready. That will keep your mind busy. We are all sending you the very best wishes!

Friends and family are well-meaning, but their comments DO just add to the emotional roller-coaster you're on right now. I even sought out women who had had the surgery but as it turns out, their experiences were all different than mine own.

If I had it to do over, I'd ask those around me to just offer their positive support and be there if I needed a hand during my recovery.

	Quote:
Originally Posted by misshyster You will second guess your decision the minute up to being taken in to surgery.

No, I didn't. I did wonder if I could pay someone to have the surgery for me, however...