feeling abandoned

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Originally Posted by Miava I wish I could say things have gotten better but they haven't. Everyone seems to think I'm playing this for attention. My DH swore he would take care of me....that was one of my biggest fears and now look....It lasted for one week. Then I was on my own. Yesterday he told me I was worthless (for doing less chores and no sex). He was joking and said he was, but it still made me feel horrible. And then last night I was so tired and sore that after I snuggled up to him in bed, I started crying. And not huge sobbing crying, just a few frazzled tears...then he says "roll over if your going to cry." I spent the remainder of the night on the couch. I don't know if he just doesn't understand of if he really is that hateful. I hate to think it's the latter. I'm am only 3 weeks post op and rather than healing by taking it easy, I'm relying on God to keep my insides stitched together. I don't know what else to do. I've asked for help. A friend was supposed to stay with me on Tues. and Thur. after her class. She came over that first Tues. and took a nap. My MIL, who I'm actually pretty close to, had taken a voluntary lay off to be able to help me. That lay off has been extended by 3 weeks and she hasnt offered to help once. I emailed my DH the 3-4 week checkpoints so he would better understand and he hasnt even looked at it, even though I asked him to while he was checking his other mail on several occasions....I just don't know what to do. I take it as easy as I can, but I know I'm way overdoing it. I feel worse and worse rather than better....I'm sorry to be so pitiful, I'm usually such a strong person and so independent. I've just been so depressed lately, which hormones haven't helped. You ladies are so wonderful for just listening to me vent. This site has been a blessing a million times over. Thank you all.

Miava,
Please don't think that you are "pitiful"!!! You are human!!! You are dealing with alot of diff emotions at once and you "DH" no scratch that your "H" is being horrible!!! I wish I lived near you! I would be over in an instant to help you!!!!! Try to keep your head up! You are jsut going to have to let the chores go and worry about trying to use what strength you do have to take care of your kids and yourself! Let "H" fend for himself!!!! Anytime you need a friend I as well as the other women here are there for you! Email, PM or even phone me if you need it! Amber

My DH misunderstood the dr at the hospital and thought I'd be "just fine" after one week. He even told me "I thought you'd be running marathon's by now." I had a breakdown, but not planned. Eight days post-op I cracked and screamed at him and cried for half an hour. After that he's helped a lot more. My kids are 10, 8, and 7 so I can't imagine trying to recover and take care of an infant also. But if you end up back at the castle, things are going to be worse for him than if he'd just help you for an hour every day now!