3 weeks out and need advice

I am 3 weeks out tomorrow, and I am so flustered(sp)!!!!! I can't drive yet so I am couped up at home and about to go crazy!!! I feel extremely well!! I had a tah/bso. Well the other day I had this friend call me and out of the blue asked me if her girl could spend the night with my girl fri!!!(the nerve!!) Well I have 2 kids, 6 and 10, and a step child that is 4!!! My hands are full!! my husbands also. This girl is wild!! How do I get out of this???? I wouldn't think to ask someone who had major surgery to keep my kid, I would volunteer to keep theirs!!! Also, I am on hrt. What does it mean if you are irritable? too much or too little? or is this just from being couped up? I know it is something!!! And one more thing...am I supposed to be doing dishes, laundry, cooking???? I know most of this post is irrelevent, but I would appreciate some responses before fri!!

Blond gal, call the "friend" and tell her that you've developed a complication from your surgery and you are unable to handle any other children at this time. If she's nosy enough to ask what it is, you can say that you did too much & you're bleeding. Or, ask her, "why do you want to know?; if she persists, say you'd prefer not to discuss it. It's up to you to protect yourself and allow yourself to heal. You must stand firm about this and take care of yourself. This is YOUR time to heal, not to care for other children. Pushy people like her need to be told NO! s to you...be firm!! love, Jeanne

I really think you need to ring her up and tell her you can't possibly look after one more child - three is hard enough when you've just had major surgery. Tell her everything you do makes you feel exhausted afterwards, and if you do too much you get pain which is a sign you are damaging the internal healing. Maybe later in your recovery? Meanwhile it's fine with you if she wants your daughter to sleep there instead.

I don't know anything about hrt, so I can't help you there.
You can do a few dishes at a time, if you feel up to it, but don't do the laundry yet - all that lifting and bending and twisting - and you shouldn't be doing anything more taxing than putting something in the microwave or making a sandwich if you feel up to it.

Miz

You are only 3 weeks post op and still in early stages of healing, especially after major surgery. I agree with the other sisters, you should gently explain to your friend that it isn't possible at the moment. If you were hobbling about on crutches would she still ask you? Just because others can't see our problems they assume we're fine because we look OK on the outside. As to cooking etc. try not to just yet, there'll be plenty of time for all the chores later!

Hi , this person is just not understanding what you have just had. Tell them that there is no way you can look after another child. As for cooking etc you should not be doing anything at alll. Rest and ask for help where you can. I'm on HRT and I would phone your Doctor to discuss how you feel. It could be the HRT or just that you life is so busy with the house and the family that is just all too much to do. You are bound to be up and down with the HRT. I get more emotional now than ever, but remember yuo have just had Major Surgury!Good Luck

blonde_gal_30
Your questions are very relevent. Dealing with these types of things is a legtimate part of recovery so don't apologize for asking.
I wanted to just share that it does take time for your hormones to balance out and feeling irritable isn't unusual at first, especially if you're doing too much and pushing yourself to do things your body isn't ready to be doing. I know at 3 weeks I was doing very little around the house and I couldn't cope with much stress around me. Another child to care for would have been out of the question. You don't need to feel apologetic about telling this other mother you just can't handle it.
Here is a link to an article that gives a list of symptoms for Too Much or too Little Estrogen. This has been helpful to me in trying to decide about hormones and if mine were doing what I needed them to do. It sounds like you maybe need to step back from some of what you're doing. Try this and see if you don't feel better.
's, Rita

Hi there.
You didn't say if you had explained your surgery to your friend. Does she know you had a hyst or "just abdominal surgery"? I wouldn't take on the responsibility of another child at this time in my recovery. Explain to her that it just isn't feasible at this time and when your DH comes home, he is helping you out with all the stuff you can't do, due to your surgery.
Good luck

Well so far I have not received the dreaded phone call!! I know it is not time for me to deal with another child now....just hard for me to say no and hurt someones feelings, but I am going to!! Thanks for the advice...it was much appreciated !!!

do not realize how serious these procedures are. People with other surgeries seem to get the pampered treatment and those of us with GYN surguries are treated like we just had a wart removed.

At Thanksgiving last night I figured that I since I cooked my dish, I would be able to curl up on the cough. I got the unsaid hint that I should be up helping. In the interest of getting on with my husband's family I washed the dishes. I don't see them that often.

With people you deal with regularily, I would say to be honest and upfront. Don't be afraid to hurt feeling if you explain kindly that it is beyond your abilities and dangerous to take more on. IMHO you have too mus=ch as it is.

Doing something you shouldn't or don't want to just breeds resentment and is worse in the long run. People will notice resentment and misinterpret it.