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hubby being a jerk
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08-31-2011, 12:49 AM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 87
Hysterectomy: August 16th, 2011
Surgery Type: TAH
Ovaries: Removed both
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hubby being a jerk and need to vent
For mobths now my hubby and I have been having problems. To make a long story short I have a male friend whom he thinks I'm cheating on him with. Well that is not the case. But I will say my hubby is pushing me away and I really dislike him right now. My friend has been the one here to care for me and make sure I'm ok when my hubby could give a darn. My hubby can't help around the house and only does what he chooses too. We have four children and he can't be bothered to help with them . I end up taking care of there needs while he plays video games and it is making really mad and frustrated. Well now my friend and his family have been with us since Saturday because of the hurricane. They have been without power so I said they should stay with us cuz they have 3 school aged kids . Well today my friend is working late and I can't sleep so I stayed up to watch a movie in the living as to not disturb hubby in bed. Well I get a text from him asking me if I am waiting up for the friend and I said no because I really wasn't. I had slept this afternoon so I wasn't tired. Then in the text he basically tells me that its inevitable that our marriage is gonna end. I'm to the punt where I don't know what to do. We have been together almost 20 yrs. Married for 16 yrs. But I do feel like he is.pushing me away and im not sure if I still want to be with him. He is always insensitive to my needs and when I try to point it out to him I get no response. This surgery has been a test for him and he is flunking. Our kids have done more to help than he has and that is sad. Well enough of my ranting thanks for listening. Hugs to all my hyster sisters
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08-31-2011, 01:55 AM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 975
Hysterectomy: October 18th, 2010
Surgery Type: TVH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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Re: hubby being a jerk
how hard to have marriage stresses on top of recovering from surgery, will your husband go to counseling, do you love him?
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08-31-2011, 04:58 AM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 429
Hysterectomy: October 27th, 2010
Surgery Type: DvH
Ovaries: Removed both
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Re: hubby being a jerk
{{{Hugs}}} Even if your hubby does not go for counseling, perhaps you could to figure out what you want to do.
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08-31-2011, 06:39 AM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 87
Hysterectomy: August 16th, 2011
Surgery Type: TAH
Ovaries: Removed both
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Re: hubby being a jerk
Hey sisters we have been in counseling since January of this year. So I just am at a lost of words with him. I may start counseling myself again when I get the all clear to drive. Ugh I just want to scream and cry. Thanks everyone for the hugs
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08-31-2011, 08:05 AM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 452
Hysterectomy: August 9th, 2011
Surgery Type: LSH
Ovaries: Removed both
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Re: hubby being a jerk
Ann Landers said the question to ask yourself is - Are you better off with him or without him?
I don't know your circumstances, but my heart goes out to you. Do what you need to do for you!
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08-31-2011, 08:09 AM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 370
Hysterectomy: August 11th, 2011
Surgery Type: LAVH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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Re: hubby being a jerk
All I can say is I'm sorry. I hope things get better for you.
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08-31-2011, 08:17 AM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 84
Hysterectomy: August 12th, 2011
Surgery Type: DvH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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Re: hubby being a jerk
Hugs, it is such a hard situation. I know your friend is helping you, and your husband is being kind of an ***. But maybe you need to kind of put some distance between you and your friend for the time being. I am sure that your husband may have a lot of insecurities that he is not wanting to admit to right now with the surgery.
Maybe try to have a open conversation with him with no kids, no friends around and try to get him to open up on his feelings about the surgery and his feelings about the changes going on.
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08-31-2011, 02:04 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 7
Hysterectomy: August 11th, 2011
Surgery Type: TAH
Ovaries: Removed both
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Re: hubby being a jerk
My husband also flunked miserably :>( So did my 27 year old daughter that is living with us. I have done my own laundry, changed my own bed and fed myself since coming home from 4 days in the hospital. Glad to be back to work just to get away from them!
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08-31-2011, 03:03 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 22
Hysterectomy: July 21st, 2011
Surgery Type: TAH
Ovaries: Removed both
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Re: hubby being a jerk
So sad to hear that you are having these problems, you and SuziBeduzi. I think that sometimes the man of the house needs to feel as if he is the Man! and when that is being challenged he will act like a child. This maybe his way of telling you this. Also this other person I think could be displaying other traits that you are not seeing but your husband is because he's a guy. I think that you need to be very careful to do your best to stay in areas as to not make your husband think otherwise.
Best of luck to you.
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08-31-2011, 07:37 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 87
Hysterectomy: August 16th, 2011
Surgery Type: TAH
Ovaries: Removed both
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Re: hubby being a jerk
Thank you sisters I guess I should have mentioned it is not just my male friend that has been here helping me but his wife who is also my friend has been here helping me. So I am frustrated because this has been going on since Dec of 2009 with my hubby. But thank u ladies for letting me vent.
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