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Severly Depressed, ~6wks Post Op, HELP
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10-31-2013, 03:03 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 8
Hysterectomy: September 13th, 2013
Surgery Type: TAH/SAH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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Severly Depressed, ~6wks Post Op, HELP
Hello All and blessings. I'm a 28yo, single mom in a fairly new and very committed relationship. I found out on my bday I was expecting a child with my fiancee and we were so excited! Wouldve been my second child and his first... In late Aug/early Sept, we found out I had a blighted ovum and to expect to miscarry; two sonograms, during the following two weeks and it was confirmed. Once I began to miscarry the bleeding was irregular and heavy, after a week or so we scheduled a DNC for Friday the 13th (in hindsight I feel like it was a sign and I'm still beating myself up over that, and other things, to this day!!!).
That Friday, everything was okay, my Fiancee was going to take me home after using the restroom and that's when all the bleeding was classified as abnormal. I don't remember anything after until they told me that I was going under for a third time that day to remove my uterus; they couldnt stop the bleeding after taking me to the OR again to see why the bleeding was so massive.
The past six-seven weeks have been a blur of feelings, lost time, anger, disappointment and these nonstop feelings of worthlessness and hopelessness.
My child is 4yo and he has been so sweet and patient with Mommy her booboos and her tears; my fiancee is an incredible man. I've spent my whole life asking God for someone with his heart, his mind and aside from other things we've gone thru, this just topped off how worthless and useless I feel despite him telling me he loves me and he'd never leave me just because of this but how are we going to plan/budget for in vitro AND surrogacy... *** and WHY ME??? I'm barely getting my finances straight but I'm never going to pay the hospitals plus in vitro/surrogacy in my lifetime...
I'm scared though because on top of all the **** I'm feeling, my son and my fiancee still aren't as close. We've only been together a year but I also feel insecure about how I need my Boys together for my sake, even if I'm being selfish by expressing that...
I don't know. I feel like I unloaded a crapload on you ladies and I'm sorry I just need something, anything, anyone who can understand where I'm coming from.
Thanks for taking the time to read.
-E
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10-31-2013, 03:17 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 122
Hysterectomy: October 29th, 2013
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Re: Severly Depressed, ~6wks Post Op, HELP
I'm so sorry you are going through so much. I am sending you positive thoughts! 💙
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10-31-2013, 03:34 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 787
Hysterectomy: August 19th, 2013
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Re: Severly Depressed, ~6wks Post Op, HELP
Listen to me very carefully, YOU are NOT to blame for the miscarriage, you are NOT worthless OR useless, you ARE loved (or so it seems) and you most definitely CAN get past this. I'm so sorry you're going through this and I urge you to seek out counseling to deal with the trauma that you've been through. Don't let this fester any further!!
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10-31-2013, 03:51 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 8
Hysterectomy: September 13th, 2013
Surgery Type: TAH/SAH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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Re: Severly Depressed, ~6wks Post Op, HELP
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10-31-2013, 04:07 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 9
Hysterectomy: October 8th, 2013
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Re: Severly Depressed, ~6wks Post Op, HELP
Hang in there. First things first. Focus on recovery, rest, enjoy your little guy and your fiancé. Your can work through the other stuff after you have recovered and feel able to work it out. It most certainty wouldn't hurt if you saw a counselor, or a really good friend. Talking always helps. And God is good he will help you through it.
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11-01-2013, 08:02 AM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 8
Hysterectomy: September 13th, 2013
Surgery Type: TAH/SAH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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Re: Severly Depressed, ~6wks Post Op, HELP
Thank you. I've started to look for counselors and have started to go back to Church b/c I know that God and my Family can help Me get thru this; I definitely have a lot to work through.
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11-01-2013, 06:20 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 8
Hysterectomy: September 13th, 2013
Surgery Type: TAH/SAH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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Severly Depressed, ~6wks Post Op, HELP
Thank you, I do need help. I've reached this new tipping point where I'm not scared of anything but everything makes me want to crawl into a hole and cry my life away... I know that sounds extreme but thank you for replying and your words because deep down in all the mess in my heart and mind I need to hear it.
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11-01-2013, 09:00 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 787
Hysterectomy: August 19th, 2013
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Re: Severly Depressed, ~6wks Post Op, HELP
I was so adamant in my post because I e been through hell this year myself and I've learned a thing or two. :-)
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