my promise to women who still have their parts

I love this site!! I can't say it enough. And as soon as I have a job again, after recovery, I'm going to support it with hard cold cash. Here's the thing, before my operation I either spoke with women who've never had the surgery who said stuff like, "Don't do it, you'll never have the big O again!" NOT TRUE, for sure! Or to women who had this surgery years and years ago, and said it WAS NO BIG DEAL AND WAY WORTH IT.
Here's my question, is all of this like labor and child birth? Tiring and hard when you're going through it, but as soon as your done, you forget about the the tough parts, cuz hay, not having an aunt flow and tons and tons of pain is great! Other than this board, I never felt like I recieved honest answers anyone. Everyone said things like, "It was a piece of cake," or implied they didn't really have a recovery time. They have even acted (or I got the impression) that they thought I was making too big a deal about this whole surgery. LTVH, A & P repairs
Even the best of the best of this stuff has at least a six week pampering/recovery time. Being honest, I didn't read the Post board too often when I was a Pre, because frankly, the post board scared to poo out of me! (If only I had that problem now, I could use a good poo!) Then, I'd get stomach aches, not be able to sleep, or panic attacks, reading what women were going through. But at least I was prepared for the worst. Waiting for the surgery was very very hard. I hated it because each day took forever, and there were so many unknowns to worry about.
Now in recovery, time is flying, but I'm not going to say it's all been easy time. Much of it has been restful, and some of it's been darn tooting (literally) painful. You deal with things as they come up. But here's what I'm getting at, I don't want to forget. I don't want to someday tell anyone it was a piece of cake, worth it, of course, hopefully yes. I don't want to scare them either, because already I'm glad that I'm not bleeding and bleeding and bleeding, like before. I'm not done healing, not even close, so i don't know what's coming around the bend, but I'll deal with it with God's help. With others though, I want to be honest, and tell them to expect a recovery time. To make sure they plan at least six weeks of rest. So that's that, my soapbox for the day.
Anyone else what to share? What things annoy you, or would you like to pass on to others?

I too think this site is a Godsend. Had I not looked up and asked so many questions it seems everyone wants to shove the subject under the rug! Geez, this isn't the 1800's!

I didn't find my surgery like childbirth at all. Childbirth (4X vag births) was a picnic compared to all this. I am a very strong woman, do ALL my own yardwork, painting the house, repairs, car work, BUT this surgery has definately taken the wind out of my sails for a few weeks. But am slowly healing...and THAT is the KEY to this surgery...SLOW SLOW SLOW. At least for me. I have been trying to be patient, and not sit at the computer too much.

Am so glad I had this sight pre and post. You are all wonderful women.

It's kicking my butt too. You had a repair too, do you find that to be the hard part? IT is for me, more than I expected. I knew sitting was going to be hard for a long time, I just didn't believe it. Foolish, foolish, me! Went to a movie on day ten, no, huh huh, not. A movie chair is not the same as the couch!! Even with popcorn!

21 years ago I had a c-section after 6 hrs of induced labor. My dr told me I had to recover from a double whammy, labor and surgery. 2 years later when I was in for second pregnancy, I begged to try the vaginal after c-section delivery. It was just beginning to take on, but he said our hospital was not equipped to handle any emergency that might arise, so we went with the planned c-section.

His words " the body is an amazing machine. It forgets the reality of the pain experienced until it is just a speck of a memory, otherwise women would never get pregnant a second time"

Well I have to say he was right. Most of what I'm experiencing now I don't remember. but then again, they took out a lot more this time too!

All my friends were encouraging, realistic about their recovering, and supportive of my decision. the key words they all emphasized were "rest, rest, and then more rest. don't overdo. when you feel like you can, don't!"

Until one experiences this firsthand, they can't relate. I'm lucky that I have friends, and a boss who have been thru this, and they're all yelling at me to take it easy. So I"m trying, but it' ain't easy!

To all the sisters out there, thanks for the support, the info and keep it coming. These postings are the hightlight of my day

I agree. Everyone told me, oh, it's no big deal and you'll feel better immediately (uh, not true). Childbirth WAS easier for me - I even did it with no anesthesia. Sitting was sore for a few days, but that's it. I am so eternally grateful for finding this site. It has made all of the difference to me. It is like going through the surgery with a bunch of friends. There is so much support, information, and encouragement here.

As for the big O....I had read all I could find here about it and had to see if my "equipment worked". : it does, no different at all.

Thanks y'all.

Dawn

(((SheleyRose))) thank you for a very thought-provoking post. You asked if there was something we'd like to pass along, and I just can't resist an invitation like that. So, here's my :

Yes, in a way, this surgery and recovery are a little bit like labor and delivery, in that we tend to forget how bad the pain is later on and focus on how much better the quality of our lives is, IF that's in fact true. However, there are differences. The first big one is that ladies who go through labor and delivery (and I have been one of those, twice blessed), end up going home with a prize, while ladies who go through a hyst do not. They often feel just the opposite, that something they prized was taken away from them during that surgery that they can never get back. That's why we have an Aching Hearts forum here.

Another difference is that some women, and we don't know going into it whether or not we will be one of them, end up trading one set of problems (be they cancer, relentless bleeding, endless pain or whatever) for a new set, equally debilitating or even moreso in rare instances. And many women who have their ovaries removed (and some who do not) end up struggling with trying to achieve hormonal balance for months or even years, never feeling like they have the 'normal' life they anticipated when they agreed to have the hysterectomy.

I think a lot of how well women do getting through the surgery and recovery process and on with our lives depends on how committed we are to the whole idea of the hyst and surgical menopause. Anything we can do to get comfortable with what we're going to go through helps a lot. The surgery itself may be a painful, traumatic event for many, but it's only a blip on the screen in the context of the whole life-altering nature of the surgery. It's like the way people say that so many young couples spend all their time planning and worrying about the wedding and give almost no thought to what their marriage will be like ... well, I think many liw's (and this is totally natural) worry and fret over the surgery and the castle and really don't think about the whole surgical menopause experience, which is really what we're signing up for.

I would never presume to try to talk a liw out of having a hysterectomy, but I urge anyone even considering this surgery to make she is 100% convinced that it is her only viable option.

The reason is this: from all the many, many stories I've read, here and in books, the sisters who do best after surgery are usually the ones who viewed the hysterectomy as their only option, or their last resort, or a life sparing surgery. This is because there can be a lot of bumps in the road to recovery, not to mention a potential hormonal roller coaster ride, and if you're buckled up and mentally prepared, it is a lot easier to get through than if you feel like you've been carjacked and are desperate to get away!

It's true that many sisters breeze through the surgery and recovery and are never heard from here again, and the sisters who post here are mostly those who need more support (and those of us who want to stay to give back some of the support we've been given). The odds are that any given individual will do just fine. However, the stories on this site posted by women who have had a hard time are very important, too... if it turns out by some small chance that you are one of the few who have trouble, they can be a great comfort. It can help so much to know that it's not just you, that other women before you have had problems and have gotten through them somehow. They can introduce you to friends with whom you can share your feelings and experiences.

I don't recommend that everyone run right over to the Road Less Traveled board and read every story, and imagine herself in every other sister's shoes. That would be needless worrying and not productive at all. But I would encourage everyone not to bury your head in the sand, either. Use the time before the surgery date to make sure that you are doing what you have to do, and not just jumping into having a hyst because the idea of not having periods anymore seems attractive (of COURSE it does!). Research your HRT options so that you aren't blindsided if your DR hands you a prescription for something you don't recognize and says 'see you in a year' or 'well, I don't need to see you again, good luck'.

I'm glad you went into the surgery realizing that it might not be a bed of roses. Chances are that means you thought very carefully about whether you needed to go through such a major trauma before doing it, and you did what was the right thing for you. My wish for all my (((Sisters))) here is that they do their homework, research all their options and be absolutely sure that the hyst is the best choice for them before going through with it. Remember, it's not too late to back out until they have the IV in your arm at Pre-Op and inject the 'happy juice'... just as with a wedding, where backing out at the altar is not fun but is certainly preferable to having to go through a divorce after there is a house and children when you had serious doubts before the ceremony. Remember you are not just signing up for an operation and a six week recovery period, but potentially major changes that *might* stay with you for the rest of your life.

I am over a year post hyst. I have had two surgeries since then, one minor (a vaginal repair due to problems with my A&P repairs) and the other major (removal of most of my colon). I had no choice in whether or not I had my hyst, which is why despite these other surgeries and whatever future complications I might face, I am at peace with my circumstances. I can only imagine how I might feel right now if I had had a choice and had chosen the hyst without finding out if there might have been other options I could have tried first that might not have resulted in this major upheaval in my life. My wish is to pass on to future liw the same feeling of acceptance that I have found, with the support of my (((HysterSisters))).

Many s to anyone going through this surgery and recovery; we are so lucky to have found each other.


-Linda

Hi all

I totally agree with what Linda said in her post. I just wanted to emphasize one other point. The ladies who come to hystersisters are all different and have different questions and stories to tell. I try, when I answer a post, to look at each person as an individual and base my answer on what she has concerns about. There is no regular or pat answer to everyones questions and concerns. Each person is special and we try to treat them that way!!!

There is one thing that I do when I close my answers and that is to send a hug to the lady that I'm writing to. It is my way of saying that I really care and caring crosses all questions and concerns.

Sheley Rose, your post was a very thought provoking one and I want to say thank you for opening this discussion

Sending everyone a big

Patty

With each post I read I'm again feeling so blessed to have found this site and this one is no exception! The original post was great and each response has been great. I'm scheduled for a tah/bso on June 30th and so far the waiting hasn't been a problem for me. That's not to say that I haven't had nervous thoughts but I feel comfortable with my decision. This post has given me some more confidence that despite some concerns that it is right for me. I've been reading post on a daily basis to keep myself informed and it's been great to know that many women are here with so much support.
Thanks again,
Kel