Orgasm question

I am new here and am hoping for imput from others who may have walked in my shoes...

I had a vaginal hysterectomy in June 2009 in which the uterus, cervix, and one ovary and tube were removed. Prior to surgery, I experienced very deep orgasms that primarily involved the uterus and cervix. Now that I no longer have a uterus or cervix, I still experience orgasm, but it lasts for just a few seconds and feels like...like there ought to be something more there...like it was going to be really intense, but got cut very short quite suddenly...it's over before it feels like it even started. I guess because it's so different and not intense at all compared to what I was used to. Everything I've read says that sex is not different or that it's even better after a hysterectomy, so I haven't found anything very helpful and I'm really having a hard time emotionally with this. As in, even typing this is making me cry. Help?!

One thing that stood out to me is how the orgasm got short quite suddenly. I've had that happen post hyst. but that was more due to moods (just like before the hyst.), like where I had a lot on my mind or whatever and just didn't have 100% of the orgasm.

If you're sort of super aware of this, you could even be blocking that "ending" for yourself, while you expect or await it.

that being said, you may also be missing that uterine cramping that is a part of orgasm for many women. I, personally, got used to not having that part of the orgasm very quickly, since it wasn't the most pleasant part of the orgasm anyway. It just wasn't my favorite part of the sensation, so it didn't take long for me to get used to it.

Not having the cervix has just meant by husband won't be accidentally hitting it during sex, causing me discomfort or even pain.

Hope this helps.

KateyGir, you couldn't have said it better. I feel exactly the same way. I found this website in the resources here on hystersisters http://www.twshf.org/ and the pamphlet on "sexual response and hysterectomy" was able to explain some of what's going on.

Katey -

On the "sex is not different" front that is an entirely 'it depends' and things are different for everyone situation. For those who have had a lot of pain prior to the hyster sex is frequently better. However, if you had no pain before than things are definitely different. I know for me it took quite awhile for me to get used to not having a cervix because it was a good part of my sexual experience.

Although it may feel like your surgery was a long time ago remember that full recovery from a hysterectomy can be a year so things may still be changing. You may want to try some stimulation on your own and see if you can find any way to lengthen the experience.

I can empathize with the frustration of dealing with changes in your sexual life when you weren't expecting.

Sending you :hearthugs:

G.

About a month before I had my surgery, I was so stressed out about it that I started having panic attacks, not sleeping at night, crying easily, etc. Once I'd had enough of it, I went to my dr. and she put me on Wellbutrin (generic is called Buproprion) which is an anti-depressant. One of the things it's also prescribed for is to enhance female sexual response. Basically it makes more dopamine (the feel-good chemical) circulate in your body. Wow, did it ever! I became very sensitive to touch (in a good way) and orgasms became more intense. I have had no side effects at all from it and it has only been beneficial for me. Might be worth a shot!

Great question and wording! I can't really help though, I am just two wks and a day post op. But just wanted to say, I posted a thread something along this line, and I think as woman, it is a very important part of us, and if it is interupted, can be very hard emotionally. I hope for the best for you and for all of us, hopefully, we can be here for each other and we will all get through it.

You all have been so helpful...really, words cannot express. This has been a very difficult and unexpected aspect of my post-op experience and has caused me to have a lot of regrets. At least now, I have some things to think about. Thank you so much.

I understand your gratitude. I love this site and the support we all offer each other at different times.

Take care,

:season:

Mine aren't the same right now..shorter and less intense. For me, I think it is an emotional or psychological thing. Sex hurt a lot for the months before the surgery. Then, I was worried about the "impact" of the orgasms after the surgery...if I get too intense of spasms, could I rip a stitch or something? Will it hurt? Will it be the same?

Plus, I'm still having pain during sex. So, my mind is so busy racing that I can't 100% relax during sex. The times I've been more relaxed, it's been closer to "normal".

I'm hoping that, with time, the orgasms will be as good as or better than what they were before the surgery.

I felt EXACTLY the same!!! Mine seemed to get worse though to where if we tried long enough (looooong time) I would be lucky to have a "tiny one". I finally got on Testosterone and the good stuff came back for the most part.

I was having pain too, for a while. I found out I had built up scar tissue in there and once the doc. got rid of it the pain slowly went away.