The really personal questions I wouldn't ask face to face

First off -- sex. All the websites I've seen, in all their negative wisdom, seem to say "you will never want to have sex again, if you do you won't enjoy it, nor will your partner. And don't think you'll ever have an orgasm again." Okay, what's the real deal? It's a hysterectomy, not a clitorectomy! And is all this "research" based on 2 weeks, 2 months or 2 years post-op? Can anyone share their experiences with this? And how about the "personality change" I've been seeing on the same sites? I personally think I'll be a lot nicer when I'm not a raving lunatic on pain killers 3 weeks out of the month... but what do I know? Comments appreciated, and any on other changes you weren't expecting would be great... I don't want to have to say, "no one ever told me THAT would happen." Thanks!

Hi just wanted you to know that I share your concerns.....I am having a TAH possible BSO and also bladder repair and pelvic reconstruction. I have no idea what I will be like down there(I have 2 docs working on me-lucky me!!) when they are finished with me but I sure am scared.

I am also scared of the outside physical changes-the swelly belly mostly. I am reassured when I read the success stories, I hope you are too....we can only think of the positive outcomes of our surgeries and hope that we'll be o.k..........Good luck to you!

Hi~~

I guess everyone is different, but I can tell you that neither my husband nor myself can tell any difference in sex since my surgery. In fact, it's better because it doesnt have to be scheduled around my period or when I felt bad which was 99% of the time. So, I would say, there are some people who have problems afterwards, but the majority of the people I have talked to, say its better.

As for mood swings.... I really never had PMS per say, but I was aggravated alot of the time because I felt bad and that put me in an ill mood. I have had everything but one ovary removed, and I can tell you, I am in a good mood almost everyday, all day. People at work are constantly telling me that I am smiling and happy all the time. What made me ill and mad all the time, no longer exists. Now I almost feel guilty when I get upset over something. It doesnt last long so that's the good news.

Everyone handles things in a different way. I knew that having my surgery HAD to improve my way of life. It did in more ways than one and I am so happy I had it done. No regrets here!

Good luck to you. Keep a positive attitude... that helps a bunch!
MB

I don't know how unusual this is, but here goes. I had a complete hysterectomy including ovaries. I had the surgery where they do the 5" incision above the pubic hairline.
I have had 4 climaxing dreams since my surgery less than 3 weeks ago. Was a little bit tender the next morning but not too worse for the wear.
I also have had laughing jags. Not crying, but laughing. (Within 2 weeks of surgery) Told my dr. and the nurse on my 2 week checkup. They had not heard of that but thought it was a good thing. Much better than crying. The dr. said maybe I still had some of the anesthetic in me.....
I am feeling better and better each day. If I overdo it my body tells me and I take it a little bit easier the next day. I would have to say my emotions are so much better so far. I always tried to be upbeat but didn't always get it managed, before my surgery.
I was craving ANY food yesterday, and cut my dot patch down by half last night. I also started on a little bit of natural Progesterone. I have Restless Legs Syndrome and my legs were acting up last night. So that is also part of the reason why I halved my patch. It stinks to want to go to sleep and not be able to......
I hope this helps.
Let me know if I can be of further help.

I just wanted to add my here. I am 4 months post op and my dh and i now find relations pretty wonderful.(when we have time for it) I dont have pain anymore, no worries, no bleeding to schedule around.....
My surgery took care of my pain that I had been dealing with since I was 17.
I had PMS big time some months where i was really crabby, then some months i would have a few days of cryin fits. Never would be the same from month to month. Poor dh didnt know what to expect!
Now, I feel that my moods have evened out alot. I am much happier. Much calmer.
It may take a little time to let your body heal but the results are worth it. Take it slow.
I have no regrets. My life and my family and friends would agree also that its better now.

I've read some pretty depressing things about sex post-hyster but not all situations are bad and I honestly believe that our sex life will improve afterward because at least we won't have the same time limit we've had in the past.

There are different kinds of orgasm too and I think by varying your technique a happy medium can be reached where loss of one kind of orgasm is experienced.

regards
Xaviera

Princessinva

I'm here to tell you that only 6 weeks post-op, I would do it again today to get the results I already have. My DH & I were allowed to return to sex at only 4 weeks--it was fantastic!! I was a little tender for a couple of hours afterwards but, we have had many opportunities since and I don't regret a minute of my decision--only that I waited so long to get it done. Please don't let the ones that have a bad time discourage you. I believe the majority of the women that have it done, at least from my personal group of friends are thrilled that they got it done and have had little if any complications...

Hope all goes well for you, don't be afraid, you'll do fine--

TVH-81/02

I had my hyst in June and I will tell you that our sex life is WAY better. My husband is in heaven because there is no period to worry about and I am feeling much better so more in the mood than I was before. We had our first night at 3 weeks ( bad idea) but after 6 weeks (with Dr's ok) we went for it again and now we are as happy as a newlywed couple. My advice for you is to take it slow but not to worry about it too much. Most of what I have heard has been positive with very few women having negative situations. I wish you the best of luck!!

Jodi