?cope w/ hyst @ 24/childless/HRT?

I am 24 and I have stage III endometriosis that keeps me in pain and always inflammed....I just found out that I am going to need a kidney transplant by my kidney doc and he told me I should get a hysterectomy now...to get it out of the way...so its scheduled for Aug.2.

I am having a really hard time with it. I want children so badly, and I just got married a yr ago....but....realize I will never be pregnant.

How do you deal with it, those of you who are young....or havent been blessed with children before losing your uterus?
I want to use the most natural HRT I can....any suggestions?

Thanks so much!

I had extensive endo and other female problems, but was still able to concieve twice. While I don't know what it's like to need a liver transplant, I do have other major health issues that seemed to fuel the need for my hysterectomy sooner rather than later. I have a major heart condition, and epilepsy and after 8 pelvic surgeries my body just couldn't take anymore. I pretty much bled for the last 2 years and finally we decided hysterectomy with ovary removal had to happen. I felt before the surgery that it was going to be no big deal, I had 2 kids already, but I mourned so bad for the choice for more to be taken away. I think all women who have their uterus out will go through that, even if they think they have enough. I feel terrible now reading about those of you who haven't even been given the opportunity to carry one, but let me give you a quick story. My sister tried for years to have a baby. Had 2 miscarriages. Right after her 2nd one she got a phone call from a family member about a cousin of ours that wanted her to adopt a baby that she just had. My sister never even considered adoption before. She drove down, adopted the baby. Now looking back we can't imagine what life would be like without this beautiful little girl in it. Had my sister never had lost those babies she never would have considered adoption and we wouldn't know this baby, she probably would have been given up to child protective services and adopted out. You will mourn either way, but just know that sometimes things happen for a reasons unknown to us.

Mindy

Wow, my TAH on Aug 2 will be my 8th major abdominal surgery. You are the only other person I have ever met that matches me. lol. No one understands the emotional stress that goes along with major abdominal surgery....especially when you lose a body part.
I am very sad for not getting the chance to carry a baby. Since I was a little girl, I dreamt of being pregnant. I am one of 5 kids, and I wanted a big family. I am very excited about adopting, however, and realize that that was God's plan for me all along. My husband feels the same way.
What HRT are you on?

I'm not on any. I wish I could be. I had extensive endo, and although we were able to cut out almost all of it, my colon was covered in it, and it was too risky to cut it out there, so it had to be left. So the dr. feels it's best to be left off all estrogen for a year in order to try and kill the endo. I'm trying some otc stuff, soy isoflavones, so far it does seem like I check the ac at night less often so maybe it helps a little bit. The first 4 weeks were an emotional hell though. I think the sudden menapause shocks our system, then when you throw in there grief it's a lot. I had to talk to a counselor and up my antidepressent. I'm finally feeling somewhat stable, or at least not homocidal towards my husband, lol.
Is there a way you can save your eggs? I wish I would have had the money for that. We definantly would have wanted more, if I weren't the one who had to carry them. I almost died during my last c-section, and so did my child, the placenta abrupted completly. I don't think I could have lived through another surgery (always needed a cesarean), so I know God was looking out for me, but I still grieve. And of topic, but does it ever just honkerblonk you off that nobody can ever understand what it's like to go through that many surgeries?? My sister thinks she can understand cause she had 2 foot surgeries, or rather toe surgeries. She has no idea what it's like to have your stomach ripped open, every time after that it's worse than before.

I had a TAH/LSO @ 25. I have been dealing w/ endo since I was 16. I had 2 laps to clean me out and imediatly tried for a baby. I lucked up 6 mo. later. Bad preg and emergency c-section. Wasn't suppose to try again for a year, but did got lucky when the 1st was 5mo. old! Another c-section and 8mo. later back to the Dr. in dyer pain. I had stage 3 and I was done. I was blessed twice and had done all the other things to stop the endo ex: bith contol, pills for menopause twice, shots, preg, and so much more. I was so done with this that I told the Dr. to take it all out! He said yes and I still got a second opion. I do have cysts that come and go, but no pain like before. I am sorry for your lose. The other lady is right. Even though I wanted this I still hurt from knowing that there was no chance for a surprise! I am a bit more emotional. My P.M.D.D. is so running my life. I even had a man tell me that since I had a hys that I was a worthless female. I will always be happy w/ these decisions. Make sure you do everything you can so you can be too.

Hi liverouchie

I'm so sorry you are hurting and dealing with such big issues at such a tender age. I moved your post to this forum for support for your pre-op needs. You might also want to check out our Aching Hearts Forum for support regarding loss and grief related to hysterectomy.

Gentle s to you, hon.
Beth

Hey AustinChick
Yeah...no one understands how painful it is physically and emotionally to go through abdominal surgery. I am dreading my TAH on Aug 2.
We could freeze eggs....but I decided that it was not meant for us to do this. I believe that my purpose was always to adopt....I have lost pieces of my reproductive system one by one for the past 3 years....I believe that God was trying to tell me something...and I am starting to feel at peace about it.
I am on antidepressants and I am planning on therapy after my TAH.
Do you live in Austin, TX? I live in Houston.

I am so sorry for your pain. All the medical issues at such a young age - I can't even imagine.

I think I am having a much easier time dealing with the TAH because I came to terms with repro organs years ago. My husband and I went through years of infertility. Trying and holding your breath every month. Praying this will be the month. Lectures from family memeber because after years of marriage - still no kids.

After 8 years of mariage we adopted our first son. Five years later we added our second. They are now 11 and 5 and the light of my life.

Its not going to be easy. Not being able to have children when you want them so much is like a death. And like any loss can only be healed with time. I can tell you that at this point in my life there isn't even a twinge of sadness over not carrying a child. You come to realize its not the method thats important.

One teensy consolation is at least you know. The years of waiting and NOT knowing are almost unbearable. It feels like your life is on hold.

I'm so sorry you are going through all this. It so unfair. My thoughts are with you.

GOOD LUCK!

Thank you Terri I look forward to the day I get my first adopted baby....I pray for them all the time....
We tried to get pregnant for over a year....even though the doctors said that it wouldnt happen. I am starting to feel more at peace about things....

Even though I have children of my own, I too suffered through miscarriages, a couple of abdominal surgeries, and fertility issues. A good friend of mine tried for years and years to have children, and couldn't. After 20 years she finally got the chance to adopt a little boy, and became guardian to 3 older girls. There is a plan for everyone, her sister told her the reason she never had a biological child was that these 4 children needed her more. She's never been happier. Good luck!