Last (I hope) concerns

Hi Ladies,

I am once again terrified.........calm, but terrified all at the same time. What am I about to do to my body?? hahaha! Do I really need this? Can't I live with my periods.....I mean heck some months I do still only have one! Some months there are no PMS symptoms at all..........oh yea, I forgot those are the "breakthrough" 10 day periods........... What about this constant cramp sensation I get in my mid-lower abdomen.....even without period flow.....maybe it's not related........... ?? Maybe they will open me up and find a eeeeeekkkkkkk........ (can't even imagine).

Can ya see I've been doing some thinking......?? LOL It's a big step. I just keep hearing the woman in the old show 30 something who lost her uterus for cancer saying "I miss being me, even with the ups and downs, the mood swings, it made me feel alive".......... I just keep hearing that in my head. I can see it plain as day........the blonde lady........Patricia something or other. Will I find hormones to balance me? Will I have side effects from those hormones? If I gain weight or get more facial hair I'll go balistic!

Today is pre-testing day........lol..........can ya tell I'm nervous?? I know I'm having the surgery for the right reasons and my quality of life centers around my "menstral nightmare", but it's still hard to imagine what I'll be like after I take away the part that makes me me..........the female of me..........

To a large extent, what makes you female is your state of mind...I am 14 days post-op (TAH/BSO), and even with the swelly belly and the itchy incision and no hormones on board, I still feel like a female, putting on make-up and earrings and painting my nails etc...you must just tell yourself that you are a girl, you've always been a girl and you will always be a girl no matter what! There are a tremendous number of products out there medicinal and non-medicinal that can counteract the loss of hormones...it sounds like you are doing this for all the right reasons...you must not allow your uterus tubes and ovaries to determine your identity...there is so much more to being you than those things!!! This is a bump in the road to a better quality of living, Sunkat! And by the way, thinking all this stuff is so totally normal!!!!!!! Just don't allow it to alter your thinking for too long a stretch! If you lost a leg or arm or breast you would still be YOU!!!! Good luck with your pre-op stuff...tell the person who does it about your concerns and ask them to tell you something to make you feel better...good luck! Underneath all the worry and anxiety, know that YOU ARE GOING TO BE OK!!!!! Hugs and prayers and best wishes for an uneventful surgery and a speedy recovery!

SunKat:

Hi there, I totally agree with sharonrie and will tell you I feel EXACTLY how I did before my surgery about my womanhood. I have the opinion that as long as I don't grow a penis then I am me. All woman!

I also know what you are saying concerning the weight gain and "more" hair, I have gained 20 lbs since we married and always have had to deal with a beard so to speak and more is not what I want but as a woman and the person I am, I will deal with it if it happens. Just like we (women) have always done in the past.

Please try to relax about your decision, yes it is a big one but I certainly would not want to have kept going on with everything I was going through nor would I have been able to cope with what others have gone through before their surgeries. I did the same thing as you are doing and questioning my decision until I decided it was time for me and me only. I want my life back.

I will add one more thing then get out of here, my attitude stunk when I got home, I thought I should have bounced back right away and started getting really down on myself. I had to change that attitude and my advice is simply... let yourself heal, it doesn't happen overnight.

Take care and don't forget to think about your release time from the castle and getting your pain med prescription to the pharmacy before it closes. You don't need the added stress that we had.

Jodi

Hi there,
the fears are normal ...this is a big deal.

I can only speak for myself, (and I'm only 17 days post op) I still feel "womanly" - haven't painted my nails yet because I'm giving them a break from the last painting, but I'm wearing all my jewellery, and sexy undies (well, the bra's anyway, and what ever else isn't too snug) - but actually the swelly belly isn't very bad at all.
I've lost a few pounds since surgery, (the light diet to help my intestinal system, plus drinking lots of water seem to be doing me a lot of good).

I know I haven't lost my ovaries, as many women here have, but the uterus and cervix are gone...... I feel nervous about what sex is going to be like - but I'm "in the mood" to think about it and looking forward to it.

and very importantly, it is perfectly clear that dh doesn't think I'm any less womanly.....


try to keep in mind all the reason for which you decided to have this surgery - and as the women above have posted, - a lot of how womanly you feel is your state of mine - so decide which state you are going to live in - and enjoy it to the fullest!

best wishes for your surgery and recovery
Cheryl

I am 1 wk post op today and I'm so there with ya! I have even been having the baby dreams, worried sick about the "What if's", and the healing time with two kids still to chase. So....I went to Wallmart and bought myself a lepard print bathrobe with matching slippers to wear when I walk the castle floors. I'm trying to look at it as actually my time to "finally" becoming a real W-O-M-A-N! I deserve to be pampered and taken care of and I'm so happy to say farewell to Aunt Flo!

I hope I helped you think positive for even a minute, remember you are worth spoiling so go out there and do it! You will be in my thoughts and prayers. I hope to hear from you when you are back up and on the puter...


Love, light & blessings~Tonia

Hey SunKat~

I know I haven't had my castle date yet but thought I would add my anyway.

My womanly parts (on the inside) haven't worked since I was 17 and believe me it hasn't made me any less of a woman on the outside. I may not have been able to have children but that didn't keep me from practicing to my hearts content.

Now, about the chin hairs...from going through all the infertility treatments and hormone h*** I do have some chin hairs. My bestfriend has become TWEEZERS! Before my injury that you know all about, I would rather clip instead of pluck but after losing some eye sight and clipping my skin (several times) I switched. Now, the hair comes in more sparce and less noticable.

Take head my friend...after your surgery you will still be all woman and I expect to still hear you roar. hehehe

Your cyber buddy always,

Donna

Boy, this site is wonderful for calming fears!! You all know just what to say........and how to say it. Thank you all!

I feel better now