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Doubting my choice... Doubting my choice...

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  #1  
Unread 06-02-2010, 07:40 PM
Doubting my choice...

I've always been extremely healthy, outside of reproductive health issues. No surgeries or anything... and the more I read of this, the more it scares the daylights out of me! Not the surgery itself, but the aftermath. I'm already so overwhelmed by everything I have going on. I also know that I can't put this off either, because I can't afford a 3rd uninsured visit to the ER. The last was over 12K, not even including the bills from the docs themselves...
I feel like my son is being robbed. He lives with his dad, who denies as much contact as possible. He's a suffering little boy as is, and now he'll be home with me for the summer, but I can't do with him any of hte things we otherwise would have done. Almost ALL of my friends have moved out of the area for jobs... I guess I knew it was major surgery, I just didn't realize I could be that incapacitated for that long. I've never had anybody doing anything for me before... not sure if I'll find anybody to help out much now. can't hire somebody, because I have been out of work since March... so stressed about this..
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  #2  
Unread 06-02-2010, 08:57 PM
Re: Doubting my choice...

I'm so sorry you are going through this. While no one can say for sure how your recovery will go, it's possible that your summer with your son will be just fine.

You may not be able to run or ride a bike with him but you will hopefully be able to play indoor games, watch movies, read, do crafts, etc.

I hope you find peace about your decision. If you are really in doubt, talk to your doctor to be sure this is the right thing for you to do.

I wish you all the best!

  #3  
Unread 06-02-2010, 10:18 PM
Re: Doubting my choice...

You can always lay in a lawn chair and spray him with the hose! That is good clean fun...for both!
(Please know I use humor to make situations less tense and not to offend anyone)
Seriously though, you shouldn't read all the post op stories!! Everyone is different and if you follow the rules and try to have the best recovery you just may have it. Yes some complications can happen, but what else are you risking by waiting?
Kids have great imaginations and he can entertain himself. And he hasn't seen you for awhile, he will be happy just to spend time with you. Is he old enough to be a little self sufficient?
It is a stressful time, but do what you feel is best. Don't let yourself be pressured into it. Make an informed decision.
Read the checkpoints if you haven't already and take a deep breath.
We will all support you whenever you need it!
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  #4  
Unread 06-03-2010, 08:18 AM
Re: Doubting my choice...

he's 5.. but he's so damaged from the past year that he's incredibly needy. I also have court issues on top of everything else with his dad - he's looking at the possibility of jail time d/t his chronic violations of the court order. On the plus side, he's doing a FANTASTIC job of showing the court that every single claim he made to get custody was a bold-faced lie. It's hard when you're up against a psychologist, b/c they are automatically deemed credible. Lucky for me, I've learned to tape all exchanges, so the allegations he JUST made the the court that he's assaulted at excahgnes, etc can be proven false. Idiot. But that's the enviro my son lives in now. Just yesterday, he said to me "dad walks around telling everybody you lie. But he's a liar." nice. step-mother threatens him that he can't talk to me, and CPS does nothing about it.. so frustrating
  #5  
Unread 06-03-2010, 09:07 AM
Re: Doubting my choice...

I just wanted to say I am sorry that you are having such a rough time

I wanted to offer just a suggestion about some possible help solutions. Our high school students must perform a required number of hours in community service during their four years, as a graduation project. This can be as a service to seniors, single parents/child care and light housekeeping, house/yard maintenance.....etc. This may be something you could find out about with a call to the high school or school district.
Some times they will also refer you to a responsible teen through church programs, you would be surprised how many great teens there are in the world. My neighbor handled her needs this way and was even lucky enough to have a teen brother/sister team to help her through a rough summer during a divorce. The boy helped to entertain her two boys and the girl helped out with sprucing up and running errands and fixing light meals! They refused to take any money for their services, so a small donation was made later to the church to support the youth program.

I hope you can work out the details soon, so you can use your energy to think good thoughts and move through this difficult time.
  #6  
Unread 06-03-2010, 09:40 AM
Re: Doubting my choice...

That is pretty ridiculous!! Hopefully his screw ups can be your gain. And with your son not believing him at least you know he still trusts and loves you!!
Him being needy may also transfer into being helpful. Kids love to be helpers....get you a glass of water, change the dvd, get the mail.
And the suggestion of a youth group or something similar to help is fantastic. You may be surprised how many offers to help you may receive.
Just take one step at a time and work through it. You will get there!!!
  #7  
Unread 06-03-2010, 09:56 AM
Re: Doubting my choice...

(((hugs))))) I am SO sorry you are having to deal with all of this on top of your surgery! Your little man might find it pretty exciting to be mommies doctor for a bit to distract him. Does he have a little doctor kit that he could use to really help take care of you? He could take your temp and blood pressure etc. Let him make you sandwiches and take care of you. I know he will tire of that quickly, but even at 5 they love to be helpful. I love the water hose idea! He will love that! Have him pack little picnic lunches to have with you as well. Maybe if you try and make it an adventure, he will have some fun out of it all. I think just spending time with mom will be wonderful for him given your current situation. I would have lots of movies and books on hand that you could watch and read together. Does he play video games at all? My kids love it when I take an interest in their games and even play with them. That is something you would be able to do a bit farther into your recovery.
I hope everything works out for you!
Take care of yourself!
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