Why do I have to explain?

After I told my exec director "I'm having a hysterectomy" I asked, "do you have any questions..."

the look on his face was PRICELESS. Worth every rude question (well almost...)

	Quote:
Originally posted by MarlaJoy OK, so I have to respond to that last message. It seems that in my corner of the world, if you don't have cancer, the hyst is "elective" and a way lesser deal... Someone at work asked if my hyst was beause of cancer, and I said no. They seemed to relax and say, Oh, then it's no big deal. Well, IMHO, cancer is a HUGE deal, a hyst IS a big deal, thank you very much.... To all who have schedule BECAUSE of cancer concerns, and to those who have scheduled for other reasons, it's still a hysterectomy.... please...

I assume that you are talking about my post, since I was the one that metioned something about a hysterectomy not being an elective surgery. I dont know if I am mis-understanding you, or the other way around, seems like I am being put down. I did not have cancer, but my surgery was not elective. I am 29 yrs old, I would not elect to have a hyst. like I would a tummy tuck. I lost my left ovary in 1995 to a large cyst that had twisted my ovary. When the same thing happened this summer, I had no choice but to lose that ovary too. I also had fluid in my abdomen and my surgeon didnt know if he would find cancer or not. My uterus was removed so that I would not have any bleeding when I started on my HRT. I would not have elected to have this done, I would much rather have my bodies own natural hormones, instead of the roller coaster ride I have been on since surgery.

Sorry about that. I was on Darvocet for pain when I wrote that. I seem to have gotten my sisters mixed up.

Okay, tomorrow is the meeting with my team. I'm going to tell them that I'll be out for a while and suggest we suspend the project till I get back. The rainy season is when my division is most busy, so they will probably be relieved not to be required to come to my meetings. As for everyone else, I've written an e-mail to all those concerned and it will be delivered tomorrow at 2PM when I'm in my meeting. This is what is being sent:

Subject: Medical Leave

This message is to inform you that my last day will be December 17, 2004. NO I'm not leaving permanently, however I will be on medical leave. I have a couple of conditions that need to be taken care of. NO I'm not dying, but I'm not well either.

I will have surgery on December 20, performed by two different doctors. These surgeries will take care of two of my problems. The last condition is genetic and at this time has no cure. Some of you may know that I had surgery last December, again in March of this year, and lastly in September. What all of my doctors have told me is that I will need many surgeries over the course of my life. That's life! We all have something, this is mine.

In my absence a temporary employee will be hired to continue my daily routine and some of my projects. If you have anything you need, ask me now. I will be on disability and will not be able to contact or be contacted by anyone regarding work. Any contact concerning work could jeopardize my disability insurance. Therefore, when I'm gone, I'm gone! To demonstrate the seriousness of this, I am going to force myself to delete the link to GroupWise from my home computer, preventing me from checking my e-mail.

If you need anything before I leave, please feel free to call me at anytime. After I leave, please direct all of your concerns and questions to (name ) at ***-****. Thank you for your support and understanding.

Great letter, that should do the trick!!!

I especially liked how firm you were about not being contacted for work issues when you are on leave.

Brava!!!

that IS a great letter. Can I borrow some of it?

I finally wrote the doctors (5 men) that I work for a Dear Doctor letter. I hit the highlights and said I'd be off for 4-6 weeks. I had been in alot of hot water at work because I had came in late or left early at some point every week since December because I wood need to go change my clothes due to heavy bleeding. Everyone of them has been very supportive but I have a breakfast meeting with them tomorrow to try and figure out who will do my job while I'm away. I have my surgery December 7 and they would like for me to work the following Sunday night to do payroll. At first I thought it wouldn't hurt but the more I think about it, I really don't think I want to ride in a vehicle 30 miles and climb a set of stairs to do payroll when we have an accountant that could do it. My husband, best friend and my doctor are the only ones that know exactly what I've been going through. I've only hit the highlights with my Mom because I don't want her to worry. It may be a bad decision on my part but I don't like people to worry about me. I appreciate all that I read on this website. It has been a God Send.

Jewels30

jewels30 - I am stunned that you work for 5 drs. and they have the nerve to ask you to come in and do payroll. I would personally like to give them all a swift kick in the @#$%. Your first priority is to take care of yourself. They can work out payroll themselves. - I'm sorry, but that made me so angry!

Diana

A co-worker of mine simply told me she had some spare parts removed. She said it in a way that sounded like they weren't really "spare", but it seemed to get across the message that she wasn't going to go into anymore detail than that. Which is fine by me.

I told a few it would be a hysterectomy, and I'm sure my boss guessed right away. Plus I'm sure others also overheard me on the phone. I think they are relieved that all those doctor's appointments I had weren't actually job interviews!

But, what I did NOT do is tell Human Resources personnel what my surgery was for. Legally they cannot ask me, so I figure it's in my best interest not to tell. Same reason I never said it out loud to my boss. She can't ask me so I'm not going to tell. That keeps everybody on the straight and narrow when it comes to the law. You cannot be too careful about this.

Hi girls,
I also have a job that requires dealing with almost every employee and at first I was emotional about the surgery so I only told my direct superiors and a couple close co-workers. As time went on and I was better with the whole issue of needing a hysterectomy, I discussed it a little more. I really did not feel I needed to tell everyone, but it is inevidable that it would get around eventually. When people started asking me "is it true you are leaving? Or is it true you are gonna go some where for a while? I answered that I needed surgery and will be gone till the new year. There are the people who don't pry and then there are the others that ask what you need surgery for and I found that once I said I needed a hysterectomy, most of them were sorry they asked and that was the end of it. I am going in on Monday, 11/15 and I think it helped me to deal with it better by talking about it and especially having this site to read and voice my concerns. It is a very private kind of surgery, and it really messes with your head, but you have to be strong and hope that people in their own way are sincere when they ask. Remember, we are only human, and that applies to those that we work with!
Good luck and keep posting!