why do dr's lie?!?!

Hi everyone,
After dealing with 5 diff. obgys in 9 years for all my problems, I had finally thought that I found one that was a dream come true! I contacted him through e-mail, and made an appointment with him. While I was e-mailing, I told him that despite my age ( i'm 27) I'm tired of dealing with all these problems and being in pain for 9 years, and that I wanted a sub-total hysterectomy. I told him that I would not be talked out of one, and if he couldn't help me, I would find someone else. He assured me he could help. So I had the appointment, and he was wonderful. But the minute I mentioned the hysterectomy, he said " no way!" Why whould he even suggest he could help me if he was so dead set aggainst giving me one? shouldn't that option be open for me to concider? I know woman who have been to dr's for small fibroids and the dr's sing them right up for a hysterectomy. I told him I don't want kinds EVER, but like all the rest, I'm tired of them thinking I'll change my mind. The uterus I have has been nothing but a pain in hte <Please do not override the website censor.>! Loads of pain, lots of scopes done, heavy bleeding , vomiting, ruined clothes, poor qulity of life.... isn't their a point where they would say, " you know what, you've lived with the pain, you know the risks, it's your call."

Thanks for letting me vent, anyone going throught this?!?!

star

Perhaps he didn't lie. Perhaps after examining you he decided that a hysterectomy would be too drastic at this point.

It's going to be difficult at best to find a doctor who will perform a hysterectomy on a patient simply because the patient decides that's what she wants. I don't know anyone who ever said "I love having my period". Pain, nausea, ruined clothes....I dealt with it for years but never once considered ending all that with a hysterectomy.

In my opinion, any doctor who will perform a hysterectomy without good reason isn't a good doctor.

This is from a message you posted last week:

	Quote:
We have ruled out PID and endometriosis ( had a scope done and no endo detected) so I am awaiting an MRI to see if it is indeed adenomyosis. However, during a vaginal ultra-sound, the doctor noted that there was a 12 cm mass in my uterus. He said It could be a possable polyp, but I'm not to familiar with polyps and didn't think to ask him if that was concidered large or abnormal. ANyone have any info. on polyps?

Perhaps this mass should be investigated further, as it could be the root of your problems. Why not call the doctor back and discuss your options and go from there.

I'm sorry you aren't finding a satisfactory solution to your problems, but rather than focus on a hysterectomy, perhaps you should investigate the mass in your uterus. If that can be treated, the symptoms you described may ease up and your quality of life may improve.

I remember when I was in my 20's and thought I would never what children. However I met my husband when I was 30 and we tried to get pg for years. I'm greatful my doctors waited. I have had pain, heavy bleeding, and vomiting.

I'm 36 now and having the hysterectomy this spring. It is different than being in your 20's I know it is frustrating, but the doctors are looking out for your best interest at heart and your long term health.

Sharon

Sometimes docs just don't remember you... They have a lot of patients, and especially if you are new, they don't know your whole story by heart.

My doc, who I love and respect, was talking to me just before I went in for my second surgery for endo, and we were discussing what meds I would need from him after the surgery. He asked me if I wanted birth control, and I said no. He asked , why, are you going to try to get pregnant right away? Apparently he didn't remember that 1) I had wanted a hyst this time, but he had spent several appointments talking me into another lap 2) my hubby had a vasectomy so fertility wasn't an issue for me and 3) I had been admitted to the hospital months before and was on heavy duty steriods for bowel problems caused by the birth control pills he had given me in the past.

And I just have to say to the other posters, not everyone is the same and your own experience is not necessarily a good basis for judgement of another. There are people in their 20s who know for sure that they don't ever want children, and are not going to change their minds. I was one of them. And pain *is* reason enough to have a hyst when all other treatments have failed and there is no desire to maintain fertility. I was one of those people, too. Starbella is perfectly within her rights to ask for a hyst, and it is not up to others to tell her what a "good reason" is or to judge her and/or her doctor's decision.

Hello starbella...So where are u from? I as just wondering because my doc is wonderful...I was also at my wits end with pain and all that good stuff....So i know your feeling ...I wish u well...Angie

And I just have to say to the other posters, not everyone is the same and your own experience is not necessarily a good basis for judgement of another. There are people in their 20s who know for sure that they don't ever want children, and are not going to change their minds. I was one of them. And pain *is* reason enough to have a hyst when all other treatments have failed and there is no desire to maintain fertility. I was one of those people, too. Starbella is perfectly within her rights to ask for a hyst, and it is not up to others to tell her what a "good reason" is or to judge her and/or her doctor's decision.

I just wanted to mention that I don't think the other posters were judging Star and telling her that she didn't have a good reason for having a hysterectomy. A hysterectomy is a very major, life changing surgery and carries many risks of complications as well as long term consequences beyond simply the inability to have children. For example, your risk of osteoporosis increases due to less estrogen and progesterone being produced, especially if your ovaries are removed. Hormone balance can be a long and complicated process. Even if you choose to keep your ovaries, more than likely you will enter into menopause much sooner due to the loss of blood flowing from the arteries connected to the uterus to the ovaries, which are clamped off during removal of the uterus. Then there are issues such as prolapse, incontinence, missed cancer or endometriosis due to lack of diagnosis, lack of libido, vaginal dryness, depression, and others to consider. Not everyone will have all or any of these problems, but they are real and do happen. It is important to find a diagnosis and to try all other treatments available first, and you cant do that if you don't know what the original problem is. A hysterectomy should always be a last resort due to the long term consequences and complications that can happen. It is also wise to seek second, third, and even tenth opinions if needed to get as much information as possible about your situation. Simply having a hysterectomy may or may not cure her problem, depending on what it is. If the mass on her uterus turns out to be cancer, what if it has spread? Will the doctor check for this? On the other hand, if it is simply a polyp, is there a way to have it removed without taking the entire uterus? Is she then likely to have a better quality of life having spared her uterus and other reproductive organs? It's a tough call, all the more reason to seek multiple opinions.

Star, I am so sorry for your continued pain and hope that you find some answers and a good doctor that will help you figure things out. It took me six years just to find out what I was suffering was endometriosis. Please hang in there and keep searching for answers. In time you may find that a hysterectomy really is the answer for you, but find out more about what that mass is on your uterus first. Good luck!

I will reinterate. I didn't mean to come off as mean. I was in my twenties and I was begging for a hysterectomy. I went to many doctors even in to my early thirties. They treat hysterectomy as a last resort.

There are so many treatments for all kinds of reproductive problems.

I know someone who recently had two polyps removed and she is doing alot better.

I don't have any children, but I do understand the doctors trying to preserve fertility.

You never know what kinds of treatments will come out for any kind of illness. Believe me if there was a treatment that would of worked for me I woudn't be going into surgery this spring.

Do what is best for yourself, but remember there are also long term things previously stated that can happen too.

Star,
My old GYN told me flat out that he wouldn't do a hysterectomy. I have children and at that time was in my late 40's. I understand what you are saying -- it is frustrating. I think at one time a hysterctomy. was the answer to everything and now the pendulum has swung to the opposite direction. It's unfortunate that the patient's wishes aren't considered more than what's trendy at the time. Good luck in your pursuit of health! If the polyps are an issue maybe they can be addressed and if that doesn't fix your problem then maybe you can get the hysterectomy. Have you gotten referrals from any friends that had hysterectomies? That may be a route to go.

	Quote:
Originally Posted by Naturebound And I just have to say to the other posters, not everyone is the same and your own experience is not necessarily a good basis for judgement of another. There are people in their 20s who know for sure that they don't ever want children, and are not going to change their minds. I was one of them. And pain *is* reason enough to have a hyst when all other treatments have failed and there is no desire to maintain fertility. I was one of those people, too. Starbella is perfectly within her rights to ask for a hyst, and it is not up to others to tell her what a "good reason" is or to judge her and/or her doctor's decision. I just wanted to mention that I don't think the other posters were judging Star and telling her that she didn't have a good reason for having a hysterectomy. Julie says - Gotta disagree with you here, Nature... I will quote one of the other posters -- "In my opinion, any doctor who will perform a hysterectomy without good reason isn't a good doctor." -- This poster also gave the impression that Starbella should just deal with the lowered quality of life, since the poster had done it, it was do-able. Again, I quote this poster -- "Pain, nausea, ruined clothes....I dealt with it for years but never once considered ending all that with a hysterectomy." -- This poster seemed very judgemental to me. --Julie out... A hysterectomy is a very major, life changing surgery and carries many risks of complications as well as long term consequences beyond simply the inability to have children.

I don't disagree with you on this one. I know from your other posts that you and I come from the two different ends of the spectrum as far as hyst results go, so it is natural that we have different opinions. But scaring the heck out of people by listing every single possible side effect of a hyst and/or telling them to just suck it up, we did, is not, IMO, a very supportive tactic. I have seen both of these used here and other places as well, so know I am not picking on you personally, Nature.

I have a suggestion for you that seemed to be the best for alot of people. See if you can see a reproductive endocrinologist (sp). Basically a specialist that deals with female problems. They seem to know the best course of treatment for many female problems.

They aren't afraid to do a hysterectomy if it is the best treatment for you.