Should someone stay during surgery?

My DH had recently started a new job and had a very limited number of days that he could take off. He took me to the surgery center in the morning and stayed with me until they took me into surgery at 7:00 am, then he went to work. I made sure that the nurses had his cell phone number, just in case. However, I also had my mother, my aunt, and my daughter with me. While the nurses did take care of me, they couldn't be there every minute. It was comforting to have familiar faces and someone to feed me ice chips, get the nurse when I was in pain, help me to the bathroom, etc. I don't think it's required that someone be there, but I would definitely recommend it. Just the fact that you will be "out of it" is reason enough for you to have someone there to act as your advocate.

Six more days to go....and at this time I will be on the road to the castle....DH is taking me and will not leave - only to get some food....My SIL offered to come down from Charlotte and stay with him but he said he would be fine....Asked her to come later in the week when he may want to step out for a few hours when we are home....He is taking the first week off...College DS and High School DS will come to the hospital in the afternoon to take Dad out to eat and take a break....want to see college DS before he returns to campus until Thanksgiving.....I am relieved that DH is coming with me and staying until my discharge....We are basically new to SC and know no one...I think I would be scared and lonely if he left me there....I know that sounds childish being that I am 45 but I was used to the hospitals and staff in NY after working in 2 of them..had friends who would come and visit in the castle and at home..I love my new DR here...she is a doll!! But am still not sure of the hospital and how things are run there...will make me feel better to have DH there in case I need something during the night....Oh, the anxiety is starting to show
Again I thank all you wonderful sisters here for all the love and comfort I would have been a nervous wreck if I hadn't found this site when I did....

Lilly

Emma,

I am single and drove myself to the hospital. My mother met me there and stayed. She insisted, I tried to talk her out of it. I knew I would be to dopey to care. I also told my DS to not waste his time coming to the hospital on the first evening. He never listened when he was younger, so I don't know why I thought he would now
Even though the first day of surgery was a blur, it was comforting to open my eyes and see 2 of the most important people in my life beside me.
I drafted my DS to sleep on the couch for my first night home, but was then on my own.


and

I just assumed DH should be there, in case of anything. He's not really a good hospital guy (he likes to play with the buttons on the bed, etc. - he can be a real nudge!), but I'm sure that's just because he gets worried, etc. His mom is coming to stay with him during surgery and his dad will stay home with the kids.

well dh is not working at the moment so i told him i need him there im pretending tohim & the kids that im not scared but i am & i know thats normal i told him i want him there before i go in & there when i wake up during the actual surgery i want him to go to him mom;s to be with the kids even though i know their in good hands my mil told us as soon as we found out that i needed surgery to bring the children to her & not to worry about them which is usual of her & i can see her sending food into us as i recover lol
but when i wake up i want his face to be the first one i see

I had a nurse who misguidedly chose the profession. WHAT A WITCH! Glad dh was there to tell her off for me and provide a united front. Tossed her out of my room and demanded another nurse for me.

We live 2.5 hours from the castle, so leaving dh at home really wasn't an option. Got him a hotel room and made him go to the room and rest, since a worn-out DH is not a good thing to have when it is time to go home to recover.

We've been thru too many surgeries and treatments and DH is well-versed in the medical terminology. He is great about taking notes so I know what went on in the OR. Dh is being wonderful to me right now and was great to have in the castle. Not much of a conversationalist, but it was very good to have him there to help me when the witch nurse couldn't be bothered.

Hi Emma!


My DH was there with me, he has his own business so it
was just a matter of closing shop for him. I also told him not
to stay go home!! But it is and was a deep comfort to know
he was there! After, to wake up to a smiling face & flowers was
wonderful! Just don't make promises for the next three days
after, I totaly forgot I had signed this one up for golf..and said
some things to my brother about his new girlfriend..lol chaulk
it up to to much gas!! God bless!

lil'elf

My DH stayed with me and it was wonderful knowing beforehand that he would be there when I woke up. But I feel awful now about what it must have been like for him having to wait and wait and wait and......
My surgery was scheduled for 8:30 A.M. He was told by the nursing staff where to sit and wait for further information and the doctor had already told us that the surgery would be about 2 or 2 1/2 hours.
At Noon, my husband was still waiting to hear from the surgeon or anyone as to what was going on with me. He said that he asked and they told him that I was in recovery but no one had come out to tell him anything until he asked himself.
When I started to wake up, I started to ask for him right away and they wouldn't let him come back to me.
It was 3:30P.M. before they would allow him to come back to where I was and I had been awake for quite a while......and asking for him for quite a while.
That just seemed like a terribly long time for him to have to sit and wait to hear about me or to see me.
He said that he was afraid to get up and even walk around for fear of the doctor showing up to tell him something or need him for something and he not be there. I feel so badly for him that he sat in a chair for 7 hours just waiting.

I had my pre-op at the hospital last night and the nurse strongly suggested DH planning on being at the castle until I'm settled in for the evening! She said that there will be alot going on, and if I'm really out of it, DH can be my spokesperson as well as my ears and brain if I'm just really not able to pay attention to information I'm given or what not. Plus she said women who have some extra TLC with them in the hospital tend to get movin' around quicker because they have that encouragment and support from someone familiar.

My doctor's office has suggested that someone be there when I get out of surgery, so that they can get the initial report on what went on, etc. Otherwise, it would be at the post op appointment before we find out what they found inside. DH, Mom and Dad all plan to be there.