First time after 5 weeks

Dh and I had sex last night.

It was probably the worst experience ever. I did not get off at all. Just does not feel like it used too.

I know it is going to take time. Just felt so weird and I just.... it is so hard to explain.


Any suggestions on how to feel somewhat normal?

Dh did all he could to make it special and erotic for me. But it was just not the same.


I mean I know I just had a Hysterectomy and I know they say it will take time.

But I just want it to feel good and make me happy.


Could I just be weirded out by the fact that I have no cervix and uterus anymore.? I didnt know for some reason that she took my cervix too. I cant believe I didnt know that.


What can I do to get it to anywhere to what it used to be like?

TIA

Well, what's different about it? Then I can give a suggestion to get it more like it used to be. It might just be you need to be patient. Sucks,huh?

I would agree that the first time post op was no fun at all, I was so scared that it would hurt that I couldn't relax and I needed one hand on my tummy as the jiggling around felt strange. We had KY on standby but didn't need it.

We carried on practicing and over the next few attempts things got better but it took me about 4 weeks to relax enough to let go and achieve the big O.

Now, 7 months post op, things are better than ever for both of us :-)

I also agree the first time was tough, and I waited 2 weeks longer then you did. I think I was a little apprehensive and my DH was worried he would hurt me.

Try not to worry so early, and remember... Hysterectomy is only HOW we are...not WHO we are. I hope that makes sense.

Once I realized that my body is better off without the organs...it all got better. I agree with Katy...my DH and my relations are waaaayyy better then they were pre op.

Hang in there and try to be patient.

Forgot to tell you, for lubricant, KY has these little bead type things you insert and they last for four days,. They are great. Just made it seem much better.

For me to enjoy sex, I have to be able to relax....with this being your first time since the surgery....were you able to get your body comfortable enough to enjoy it? Our bodies have been through a lot and were afraid of hurting ourselves. If we tense up...nothing feels good. I'm just throwing this out there.

That was true for me. It's very mental. it got better each time.

don't get frustrated... i wonder, are you more worried about your DH feeling strange, or you? it sounds like you have too much on your mind, analyzing the situation too much?

like some of the other sisters said... relax. enjoy. it will get better, and better, and BETTER!!!

I agree it is a mental thing. Clear your mind, relax.

I think what helped me a lot was trying to not have expectations. Like not expecting the worst, but not expecting the best for sure either. ;-)