I can't believe the nerve of some people...

the saga continues at work.
Yesterday, my boss was planning the night for our Christmas party, and he said it would be either the 12th or the 19th. Well another lady at work is having hyster surgery on the 19th, so I told him she would obviously not be there, so he said we'll plan it for the 12th. He asked if I would come.
I told him I really didn't think so but we would see how I feel at that time. Then my coworker said well that 2 weeks after your surgery and the lady that had vaginal hyster last year was shopping at Sam's by 3 weeks, so there really should be no reason why I can't make the party.
Even if I felt up to it at 2 weeks, what the heck would I wear to a fancy x-mas party, SILKY PJ'S?!?!?!?!?
I can't wait till Wednesday morning when they put me under, cuz until then I am not going to be able to sleep or have a moments peace.
I am trying to keep light hearted about this whole thing at work, but I swear I'm afraid I'm going to blow my top before this day is over.
I was so upset last night that I was crying and screaming at the same time, my blood pressure is already high naturally, and this has been pushing it way over the top.
I've already been put on stronger antidepressants, now I think I'm going to ask mdr. to give me some valium to get through these last few days.
thanks again for letting me vent.
Now I have to go to a drs. appt and then to work, which by the way, they are b--ching about me taking time off work to go to all of these darn drs. appts. but I have to take the appts they have available or I won't be done with all these darn tests before my surgery date. And monday I have 3 drs. appts, and they already know at work about them, I will probably not get home form work that day until after 7 pm, just trying to get everything done, since I will only be at work for 1/2 a day tuesday becasue of pre-op appts.
Again thanks for being here to let me get this all out of my system, cuz now I can go to work and focus on my job, and not all the bad vibes I'm getting from everyone there. Catching people talk behind my back is so hard to tune out, this has all really hurt my feelings terribly.
love to all of my fellow sisters.

I am so sorry Dee! People can really be idiots, can't they? Even the well meaning ones. I just took deep breaths, and calmly said, " Well, everyone's situation is different in these surgeries. They really won't know the extent of what is going on untill they get in there. I have no way of knowing if I will have complications or not. Hopefully everything will go well and I will have a good and speedy recovery. But there is no way for me to know that now, and I do not want to commit to things that I may have to back out of. I can only follow my docs instructions and advise, which is.......... I appreciate everyone's concern and help (try not to grow a Pinochio nose when you say that), but this is a difficult time for me and I really just need to focus on getting thru this the best way possible so that I do not compromise my health for a lifetime."

Then hold your head high, walk away, and let them say whatever they want. You can't contol them, but you do have contol of how you are going to react and respond. Don't allow them to have the power of making you miserable. They are not worth it.

Please feel our love and support!!

Tag,

s for you !!

People are so darned rude sometimes, I just don't get it. The notion that this is "no big deal" kills me. I get the same reaction from some people where I work, and they don't understand why I will be out for so long. There are a few that are totally understanding and supportive, but they are few and far between!

Don't let them get to you !! I rely on those that understand and are supportive ... Just keep talking to all these lovely ladies here !!!

Love Ya !!

a book called _Toxic People_ by Lillian Glass. This woman is a genius about how to deal with idiots. _Emotional Blackmail_ by Susan Forward has other useful suggestions.

It is hard to conjure up healing energy when surrounded by people dripping with toxic, negative energy. Think of when you get home, surrounded by loving, caring people as much as you can today. At least you have hystersisters, where you have someone who identifies with all this bull and recognizes it for what it is. Just a suggestion, but avoid this kind of interaction as much as you can until you start your leave. Excuse yourself and go write down ideas about what you can do to make your home as healing and soothing as possible.

One of my favorite lines from some trashy romance novel I read years ago. "Ignorance is curable, stupidity isn't". From the sounds of it, no one is interested in being educated about how major abdominal hysterectomy is. They want to believe the old wive's tales and focus on some extraordinary woman who had her ute out and stayed in superwoman mode. Oh, if they only went thru it themselves, they would sing a different tune. But they aren't facing the situation from your perspective and you are expending energy that you need for your own healing instead.

- hang in there girl. Sometimes people can be so thoughtless. Maybe this is their way of handling their own stress. I think 2 weeks is kind of early for a big party too , but I like your idea of the silky pjs. Stop worring about what your co workers may say or do and just go to your dr appointments and take care of yourself, you don't need extra stress now. This time next week you'll be a princess , keep that in mind. I'll be for you.

It isn't fair to compare people to each other , as you already know. And talking behind your back is the absolute worst.

But, to give you some hope, you'll probably be out of your pajamas long before 2 weeks after a TVH. My own opinion is that staying in pajamas all day is depressing (to each his own , I know). I had a TAH and wore real (looser fitting) clothes just 2 days after surgery, put on makeup everyday, and wore just about everything after 3 weeks. It really helped me feel better. I hope this doesn't come off as another comparison. It's just my own experience at what helped my spirits.

I hope you feel great in time for the party.

Pushing a giant cart through Sam's at 3 weeks?!? Pushing a cart was one of the last things I did in recovery--even at 3 weeks, it was kind of a strain. Just because that woman did it, doesn't mean she should have been doing it.


Let's find a positive in all this--if you do go to the party and it's really boring, you have the perfect excuse to leave early!

You know yourself best. Take good care of you. I'm sorry to hear you are having such a rough time with your co-workers. Could you offer to trade places with them, you know, you stay at the office & they could go to your doc appts?

Wishing you a speedy recovery!

Hi Dee,

I'm so sorry that you're having a rough time with your co-workers, and just want to add that I had a TVH and at two weeks would not have been ready to go to a party, or at least wouldn't have been able to stay for very long.

Do your best to tune them out - (I love fla_gret's suggested response), and try not to let them upset you.

I hope today goes better for you at work. Please let us know.

's

Karen

I am sorry but I just got really upset reading your post. Screw them! You are a better person than I because I probably would have went off on someone. My friends call it a "pause button" from my head to my mouth that sometimes doesn't get pushed. People have no idea. I am scheduled for a TVH keeping overies in December. I have only told two people. My boss and a co-worker who is close to me. Everyone else will just find out when I am not here. Good luck to you. I hope all goes well. It's unfortunate when we have to look forward to going under. I feel for you. I wish I could come to your job and tell everyone off. That would cause a problem would it?

This kind of thing makes me so mad! Our society is getting so uncaring for the most part. Everyone thinks we are intentionally "putting them out." What happened to the days when people cared about each other and tried to help each other. I bet none of your co-workers has made any attempts to help you in any way, sent you cards or flowers, or reacted any other way to let you know they care, have they? I am so sorry you are having to go through this especially when you need to be concentrating on healing properly and sure do not need to be thinking about uncaring co-workers! "Believe me", I know how that makes you feel. You need to take care of taggrace first, you only have one chance to heal properly and you had better take that one chance or you will be the one paying, not your co-workers. Do you think your co-workers are going to be sympathetic when you hurt yourself overdoing it? NO!! They will just say (behind your back) "here she goes again" You have to put yourself first and forget about them for now. I am sure I am getting it at work too, because I know what the reaction has been to others being off for surgery. I am putting me first for my own benefit, and don't really care how most of them feel. I have to live in this body. I'm sorry this sounds so mean, but my hope is that it will help you make the right decision as to what is best for your own wellbeing.