Just got my date

Hi my name is Janice and I am new to this board.

I had a bout with cervical cancer about four years ago. That was the easy part. The hard part was the endomitriosis. I was in so much pain that I couldn't function. They tried everything. I was on depo for a long time and it worked for a while. Then I was even bleeding while on the depo. I was exhausted every day and being a single mom of three, there's no time to be exhausted.

I went to my gyn on Thursday and we discussed a hysterectomy. His main concern is that I am 34 and single. I explained to him over and over that my youngest is 10 and I am NOT about to start over. I'm looking forward to my freedom (not only from the pain, but from the kids too!!) We set the date for November 9th. He explained that he would have to take everything and I understood that I would be thrown into menopause.

I assured him that menopause would be a piece of cake compared to the endo. He explained that when he did the laparoscopy a few years ago that the scar tissue was extensive. This would mean that my only option would be an abdominal incision. This freaks me out a little because I have this aweful fear that I'm going to overdo it and all my insides are going to fall out. Am I the only one who has these fears?

My mom will be able to come in for two weeks and help me with the kids. I have all my friends on stand by in case I need anything or my mom needs some help. Hopefully with all of this support I will listen to the doctor and my body and take it easy. I'm trying to think of it as a much needed vacation. Okay the weather stinks, but I'll catch up on my soaps that I haven't been able to watch since high school.

I am lucky that my friend Cathy just had a hysterectomy this summer. Our daughters are best friends and I had her children during her surgery and recovery. This means that my children know what to expect from my surgery.

My youngest daughter was a little upset that she would never be a big sister but I'm sure she will recover. My son is upset that he'll never have a brother but happy that there won't be any more sisters. My older daughter told me that she will help me more around the house.

What the kids don't know is that this leaves me a month to prepare for the unexpected. I'm having my will updated next week to make sure that my children are taken care of if something should happen. I've given my mother power of attorney and had a long talk with my sister about how I want my children raised. I told my sister where my life insurance policies are and wrote a long letter about my decision to have my sister and her husband raise my children.

My daughters' father will not be pleased but I don't believe a judge will split up my children. My son's father left before he was born so that shouldn't be an issue. Just in case, I wrote a letter about that to. The hardest part is working on letters to my children in the event that something goes wrong. My son especially. The tears start flowing immediately each time I try to write it.

Am I being a little too prepared?

I look forward to getting to know everyone.

Take care,
Janice

Dear Janice,

I think it is natural for you to want to be sure your children are going to be taken care of. I am married (had a TAH BSO on 9/21) but we are a blended family, married 17 years. I had two children before we married so of course I wanted assurance that my husband would (even though they are now through college) would be there for them, financially and emotionally. You are a SINGLE mom, so the concern is even greater. This is a major surgery, but, also VERY COMMON. You do need to "prepare" but I'd focus as much or MORE on doing all the things you can do to make it easier on you when you come home from the hospital. When friends offer to help, take them up on it. I had several people offering food for the first evening I was do home. I thanked them, but asked them to each take a day instead of bring too much at once. It was great. We had meals for an entire week!

This site will be very helpful to you. Ask your questions, someone is bound to have had the same experience...

By the way, I am a little over 2 weeks post op, and am doing really great. I over did a little yesterday and am a little more sore today, but all in all, I NEVER thought I would be feeling this good, driving, etc. at two weeks. Hang in there. The waiting is REALLY the hardest part. The past 2 weeks just flew by. I can't wait until my 6 week check up..

Best of luck.