LAVH: Have you purposely NOT told anyone?

We only just recently moved to this state, and all my friends and family are “back home”. Since I’ve pretty much been house bound with pain, I haven’t gotten to know anyone. Of my friends back home, very few know I have been having issues, no not even my mother. So I haven’t told anyone, about the now scheduled Hyster. They’re too far away to help anyway. What do you think?

Yes, I promise to tell mom tonight…

I think that if I had not told my family and close friends, that they would have been pretty upset about it. Even if they've not closeby, they probably want to know if you're going into major surgery. Some may want to make arrangements to be there.

Best wishes.

I'm on the other side of the coin. Sometimes it takes more energy to sooth their fears than it is worth. I told the minimal amount of people I had to tell at first. Sadly, one family member that I trusted put it out on the gossip wire and then I started getting emails and calls from people who wanted to tell me their surgery stories and tell me what I was doing wrong, etc. If you want the least amount of drama, tell the least amount of people. I think even telling your mom after the fact is a good idea because then you won't be worrying about her, but she will know and can come out then if she really needs to.

I didn't tell anyone but my mom and two sisters because we share the same womenly problems. I felt the least people knew the better my husband and I could handle the out come and recover. Sometimes there's to much drama, also women who never had problems just don't understand and are quick to give missinformation.

Good luck, you'll feel better soon!!

Only my friends with problems know. My family knows. As a mother I would be hurt and angered if my daughter had major surgery and I was told after the fact or even right before.

I guess I look at things differently than some. I have told almost everyone that I am in contact with on a regular basis. Of course, my closest and dearest friends were the very first to know, but I see no reason to hide what's going on. I teach school so keeping it a secret from co-workers is out of the questions. I mean, they are going to notice I am gone for a while. So far, no one has been anything other than extremely supportive and encouraging. I have actually enjoyed hearing about their issues as well because it makes me realize that I am pretty normal.....trust me, when people realize you have issues, they realize they have issues too and then you just learn all sorts of interesting things.

The worst people to tell were my 3 girls. They all cried and no matter how reassuring I was that I was actually fine they just couldn't get past it.

Of course my husband knew. I told one son and his wife. I did not tell the other two sons and wives. Do not see or hear from them. People that I see and am close to were told.

I told only the people that was necessary, employer, two friends, and limited family. I am a very private person anyway. It was hard to tell my mother because of my sister's medical problems. Mom thinks if bad things happened to my sister then the same bad things will happen to me.

I told my mom, closest friends and that was it. We spent the whole week of Christmas with my in-laws and I specifically told Dh I did NOT want them to know b/c they just love themselves a juicy health/surgical topic. They are older and just love talking about medical issues. The thought of explaining my uterus removal and surgery on my colon for endometriosis to my father-in-law was enough to make me nauseated for sure! We told them AFTER it was done and all was well. I never mentioned it with our church group either. I know there are people who like everyone to know ahead of time, but for me it was kind of a personal issue and I just didn't want to go there.

I am now 2 weeks post-op and I can say that I'm glad I chose to keep it on the low down. I have actually surprised a few people by telling them I had surgery 2 weeks ago and the look on their face of surprise and then them telling me how good I look is WAY better than the looks of pity or confusion I would've gotten had I told them before the surgery.

I've had major health issues in the past and once you go through something like that, you tend to not want to garnish any more drama with somewhat minor stuff. This was elective and somewhat minor IMO...not minor in the procedure, but decidedly WAY down on the list compared to my SIL who just finished battling breast cancer. Know what I mean?

I had to tell people. If I didn't tell people at church, they would have been worried when I wasn't there for a month. Plus I really want their prayers and support. Everyone in our families knows because they are an awesome support system as well...and my mom and MIL both know because they've both been through this!

I had to tell 3 different dance teachers and the director because I don't know how much dance my kids are going to miss. I also had to tell my neighbors, since I occasionally watch their kids, and I will be in no shape to do that.

Now, I do limit how much I tell people. Some people only know that I'm going through major surgery, while others now it's a TAH.

Missy